I wasn't sure I was up to the task, but I didn't want to deal with 2 weeks void of sex and replete with pouting upon my return. Fourteen hours of air travel vibrations always has a profound effect on my prostate and I certainly didn't want to come up short. She wanted a Burmese "pigeon's blood red" ruby and her specific description did nothing to ease my apprehension. "Ideally the color should look like the first 2 drops of blood that drip from a pigeon's nose when it is killed, normally by strangulation." Now, frankly speaking, I could not tell the difference between a bloody red ruby and a shard from a broken bottle of Dr. Brown's Black Cherry soda.