TABLE OF CONTENTS 6 MAIL Feedback, and so forth. 15 OPENERS How to fade your jeans plus hard news. 25 SEX TAPES Scare tactics. 30 REVUE Mano rubs noses with Barbra. 36 MIRA FONSECA Mira, Mira, off the wall,we make a point of returning her call. 42 TEN GOOD REASONS TO GET OUT OF BED by Robert Anton Wilson The future is rosier than a 13-year-old cheerleader. 46 SHORTS STORY Trousers in the tropics are lopped off midway; all the better for kneesies. 54 STAR TREK TRIVIA QUIZ Come aboard the Enterprise and match wits with the Vulcan. Cheaters will be dematerialized. 56 BY APPOINTMENT TO HER MAJESTY THE QUEEN Look at all the goodies on ER II's shopping list. 58 THE BAND'S PERFECT GOODBYE by Emmett Grogan Take the best band in the country, add a cluster of heavyweight guest stars, long hours and hard work, and you'll get a flavor of what you missed. 61 HOPE She springs eternal. You'll find room for her in your soul. 70 CONVERSATION WITH FAYE DUNAWAY Our only modern-day vamp explains those complicated love scenes in Network. 73 THE RITES OF SPRING How to get ready for when the air gets giddy with flowers and a young man's thoughts turn to boogie. 78 ON THE TRAIL OF THE NIGHT SURGEONS by Ed Sanders Our expert on cattle mutilations digs deeper. 82 THE RETURN OF THE GOUT by Jerome Doolittle Some of our best friends have it! Port all around! 84 THE ELEVATOR Godfrey and Lucinda push all the buttons. 92 SUPERFOLKS by Robert Mayer Is an aging superhero still faster than a speeding bullet? 109 WHO Kim Novak, Charlotte Rampling and the fabulous Betsy Gonzalez.