Playboy December 1989 Magazine UPC: 0300955012 ISSN: 0032-1478 Volume 36 Issue # 12 TABLE OF CONTENTS COVER STORY With a twinkle in her eye and a mischievous grin, the classically beautiful Candice Bergen awaits Christmas under the mistletoe. The cover was designed by Senior Art Director Len Willis, produced by West Coast Photo Editor Marilyn Grabowski and shot by Contributing Photographer Stephen Wayda. Kudos to stylist Lane Coyle-Dunn, as well as to Colin Booker for Célestine Cloutier make-up and hair. "Kiss me quick," quips the Rabbit. 3 PLAYBILL 11 DEAR PLAYBOY 17 PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 32 WOMEN BY CYNTHIA HEIMEL 33 MEN BY ASA BABER 35 SPORTS BY DAN JENKINS 37 THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 51 REPORTER'S NOTEBOOK: SEE JANE RUN-opinion ROBERT SCHEER 55 PLAYBOY'S FORMAL APPROACH-fashion HOLLIS WAYNE 61 PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: CANDICE BERGEN-candid conversation 82 THE KILLING MAN-fiction MICKEY SPILLANE 88 WHY YOU CAN'T-article JAMES MORGAN 89 WHY YOU SHOULD-article EVE BABITZ 94 THE JOKER WAS WILD-pictorial text by KENELM JENOUR 104 HOW TO TELL IF YOU'RE A GROWNUP-humor DAVE BARRY 106 THE REAL-LIFE APTITUDE TEST-quiz ... LENNY KLEINFELD, GEOFFREY NORMAN 108 PLAYBOY CHRISTMAS COLLECTION-modern living 116 THE SWIMMERS-fiction JOYCE CAROL OATES 118 FIGHTING WORDS-opinion DAVID MAMET 120 THE CHRISTMAS TAPES-humor 122 TWO FOR THE ROAD-playboy's playmate of the month 136 LUCKY PIERRE IN THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE-fiction ROBERT COOVER 138 20 QUESTIONS: PATTI D'ARBANVILLE 140 AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT-food and drink KAREN MAC NEIL 144 HOTTER THAN HALL-playboy profile STEVE POND 146 LETHAL WOMEN-pictorial 154 THE THIRTYSOMETHING JOURNAL-article RICHARD KRAMER 158 !ARRIBA ESPANA!-travel HERBERT BAILEY LIVESEY 164 SMILBY'S SUZETTE-humor SMILBY 166 A FEW WORDS FROM WILLIE HORTON-interview DR. JEFFREY M. ELLIOT 170 PLAYBOY JAZZ AND ROCK POLL 1990 176 HOLY SEX STARS OF 1989!-pictorial text by JIM HARWOOD