Arthur Mubarek is a prat—at least according to his ex-boyfriend. And if taking pride in his work, keeping his house tidy, and not pretending to enjoy a film just because everyone else is gushing over it makes him a prat, so be it. But the sympathy blind date he's been roped into is really a bit much. If only there were some way to get out of it. The dreaded date is nearly upon him when a co-worker at the Royal Mail begs him to come downstairs and have a look at a mysterious parcel. While Arthur can't fathom why they'd ask a data analyst for help, he's eager for any excuse to dawdle, even if it's ridiculous...until he sees the box. NOTE: Post Mortem originally appeared in the charity anthology Lashings of Sauce for the 2012 UK Meet.