The things in life that help us become successful and fulfilled can be based upon both positive and negative experiences. Our friends, family, colleagues, and personal decisions all assist us in becoming the people we see in the mirror each morning. In my case, a seizure disorder has taken me on many journeys in the past thirty-five years. These sojourns have allowed me to delve deeply into my soul and understand the many facets of my moral fiber and the character of those with whom I choose to surround myself. Some may see my illness as a weakness; however, I view it as an incredible strength and opportunity to educate myself and others. I have disclosed my infirmity to fewer than ten people since I was first diagnosed over 35 years ago. The search for my identity has ended, and, just begun. I believe that I have now initiated the process to seize each and every opportunity not in spite of my illness, but because of it. As an educator, I am always struggling to think of new ways to impart knowledge to others. I wrote this book to remind myself and others of the importance of self-worth and inner strength. It is my hope that readers find strength, humor, and solace while reading Search and Seizure.
PROLOGUE:
The enemy arrives without warning. The invisible, silent invader doesn’t ask permission. It enters your brain quietly, suddenly and seizes control of everything, leaving you helpless in its grip. It takes possession and angrily throttles you, unleashing its rage on you. As if hypnotized into a stupor, you are dazed, unresponsive. You cannot refuse it. You can muster no resistance. You are turned off while it takes over—your own personal earthquake.
The quake bubbles up at full force as the powerful jolts and convulsions hurl you to the floor. When you return, you feel the pain of it all, see the terrible bruises and taste the blood in your mouth. Your tongue will be swollen, possibly gashed from your gnashing teeth. You might chip a tooth or break an arm. You might smash your head so hard on the concrete that you have a headache for days. You won’t know what actually happened. You have no memory-the blessing and the curse. You’ll ask and someone will describe for you how you looked like you were being tossed around as if in an exorcism, as if possessed by a terrible demon bent on destroying you.
An epileptic seizure is a powerful, remorseless enemy and it takes more than a bottle of pills to defeat it. You must search for a way to battle this invisible monster and decide to conquer the illness one day at a time.