A 50 Shades/Cthulhu mash-up. You can read it here for free. 

I can't stop laughing at the cover.

“Hello, Miss Irons,” he said, his voice cultured and bristling manfully with manliness.

“Hello,” I said vaguely. Everything tilted, and I pitched forward helplessly. Two of the three grapes I had eaten for lunch came rushing up, and out.

He had caught me. His eyes smouldered into mine. An ironic smile played over his lips. His mouth opened enticingly.

“You vomited on my jacket,” he said, wittily.

“I know,” I volleyed back.

“It takes a strong woman to have the courage to vomit on the jacket of a man as quietly powerful as I am,” he volleyed back back.

It's a quick, silly read. Not really for actual fans of Cthulhu erotica or tentacle porn (yes, they're a real thing), but it's good for a few laughs. I wouldn't have paid to read it, but it was worth the few minutes it took to read it for free.