Utter bobbins. Jack McDevitt’s first novel but still exactly the sort of cloth-eared writing that gives science fiction a bad name among the general public. A slog to read, no humour and pre-school level characterisation. If this novel had been beamed from the Altheans humanity would have given it one star and gone about its day. Yet it’s routinely called a classic and gets five star reviews. Colour me bemused.

For the purposes of reminding myself what this tract of text was about in years to come “The Hercules Text” had the misfortune to be published a year after Carl Sagan’s 1985 “Contact” which is a bit like a church deacon delivering a sermon just after Moses has declaimed from Mount Sinai. SETI (or, hello Mr Cameron, “Skynet” here) pick up a “hello” signal from the stars, point everything they’ve got at it and win the lottery, receiving an alien version of Wikipedia which, humans being humans, causes no end of squabbling. The whys and wherefores of this are not really worth discussing – in this novel the signal crosses intergalactic space without attrition and is picked up only by a narrow caucus of poorly managed scientists rather than, say, an entire hemisphere of listeners and the witholding of its details pisses a lot of people off – and the novel wants to depict the religious and political impact of such a Book of Revelations. It’s a rather nice idea, it’s just that McDevitt is clearly still learning how to bang a nail in prose-wise and depicting the sociological impact of imminent post-humanism would cause many an old hand to think twice. You want someone like Kim Stanley Robinson on something like this, not a genial hack.

Oddities abound. Harry Carmichael is a honkingly obvious enabler of info-dumps rather than a character. “Star Trek” plays a part in the plot. One boffin takes a transcription of the alien text home with him, idly starts building a machine from blueprints contained therein and unsurprisingly ends up blowing himself and half the surrounding countryside up. Loose talk of new energy sources immediately causes the stock market to crash and banks to fold…events that are never referred to again. The Hercules text contains details on how to cure blindness, create death rays and manipulate black holes which quickly gets silly, like Klaatu or the aliens of “V” offering to solve all of humanities ills at one stroke. There’s also no explanation why so much of the Hercules text is anthropomorphically-specific, right down to curing shortsightedness and little Tommy’s diabetes. As for the prose, sorry Jack but it’s sludge and we’re in Repetition City. Here’s what happens when I put the word “steak” into the search function of my ePub reader:

Page 44: a steak for Gambini, roast beef for Harry
Page 70: They ordered drinks and steaks
Page 145: While they grilled steaks and baked potatoes
Page 195: The steak was delicious
Page 236: …indulged in steaks

…and I list just the one steak reference for each juicy steak-related scene. I won’t start listing all the dead sentences or we’ll be here when the Altheans arrive.

So yeah, thumbs up for the idea, thumbs down for everything else really, I have no idea what book Stephen King read, probably just giving a tyro writer a helping hand. One last point: the version of “The Hercules Text” I read was the 2015 edition in which McDevitt had found necessary to defrost any Cold War references and otherwise bring up to date, which appears to have amounted to solitary mentions of 9/11, Obama’s second term, the internet and email. In the foreword he justifies these changes with “It seemed prudent to go back and reframe The Hercules Text in the light of these happier times.” What happier times Jack is referring to escapes me but I’m sure in light of his career as a best-selling author they involve steaks. Lots of steaks.

Hercules: Wrath of the Heavens Vol. 1 (H... Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for review consideration.

I didn’t like Hercules: Wrath of the Heavens nearly as much as I hoped to, but I did like it. The legend of Hercules is a fascinating one, and when I was little, I absolutely loved watching the TV show with my mom. So, when I was Hercules: Wrath of the Heavens mentioned in the newsletter that Titan comics sent out, I figured I had to give it a try. The Hercules of old in a futuristic setting? Okay, let’s do this! And by the end of it, I was totally caught up in what was happening. However, it took a good 100 of the 146 pages in the volume before it hooked me.

Jean-David Morvan and Looky did a great job in translating the first few of Hercules’ 12 Challenges in Hercules: Wrath of the Heavens. The Lion was kind of expected. The Hydra surprised me. The Hind had me laughing. If the Hydra and the Hind are any indication of what we’re to expect of the re-imaginings of the Challenges, I really can’t wait to see the next volume. So, that was one aspect that I really liked.

And, lets be honest here, some of the artwork cracked me up. There’s a representation of a certain goddess wearing what one can only describe as aureole shields. I spent a solid three or four minutes looking at the Goddess and wondering if she had suspenders attached to the, er, pointy bits themselves. “Are they boob-spenders, or are we facing a Clooney’s Batman Nip-Gate?” Turns out, it was Batman-esque Nip-Gate that lead to a whole discussion with one of my bookish friends about Goddess bumps and gyroscopes.

The last quarter of Hercules: Wrath of the Heavens has a whole lot of adult images that seemingly come out of nowhere. I mean, there were things early on that told you it was a little bit risqué, but… Let’s just say that sometimes a graphic novel lulls you into a sense of complacency, and then you’re suddenly staring at someone with ladybits in rather irregular places. And more in that vein.

Oh, on that note, ladies and gets, please make sure you know this graphic novel isn’t for the younger comic book readers out there. Trust me – trust me­ – on this one. So, yeah, not for kiddos.

Also, there’s a set of panels involving matter and anti-matter that had me groaning in absolute delight. It was just so bad that it was awesome.

Unfortunately, while I liked the panels where action wasn’t happening, and the general art style, Hercules: Wrath of the Heavens was one of those graphic novels that I struggled with. The pages were too busy during action sequences, and my eyes didn’t know where to settle. There was just too much to take in, and I frequently felt lost as to what was happening during them. Not to mention that I’m really not a fan of panels that are taken over by weird noises like “Glonk”.

Overall, though, I enjoyed reading Hercules: Wrath of the Heavens, and will pick up Volume 2. It took me a while to get into it, and it’s not an easy read for me, but the ending was crude and fun that I need to see where Jean-David Morvan and Looky take this in future installments.

Hercules: Wrath of The Heavens - Jean-Da... Full review to come closer to release date.

It took me a while to get into this, but by the end I was thinking "No. No, you can't end here! That's just wrong!"

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for review consideration.

This short look at Hercules includes a retelling of the birth of the gods.  Still, it is a pretty good overview and look if you are interested in the story.

Many long time Christie fans know that Hercule would go on and on about retiring (at least it felt like it) well in this collection we have Hercule talking about going into retirement and growing the perfect vegetable marrow. This makes me think that the events in this collection all occur before the events in "The Murder of Roger Ackroyd." Poirot's conversation with his friend, Dr. Burton leads into the Greek hero named Hercules and his 12 labors that he undertook. What did make me laugh was Poirot finding Hercules to be a brute who was not smart at all (I tend to agree when you read the Greek myths, Hercules sucks a lot). But, Poirot decides that he will investigate 12 more cases that interest him before setting in the country.

 

The Nemean Lion (5 stars)-This one tickled my funny bone a lot. We have Poirot becoming intrigued by the case of a gang of thieves who appear to abduct rich women's Pekingese dogs. Reading about how Poirot has to deal with each of these rich women (there are two in this story) and how many of them are pretty terrible people was fun. Due to Poirot being called in to investigate by one of these women's husbands was what made Poirot intrigued. The main reason why I liked this one besides the awesome solution though was that Poirot revealed something about someone else in this story and I loved it. Great ending.

 

The Lernaean Hydra (4.5 stars)- Poirot investigates when a dentist is being hounded by gossip about being behind the death of his wife. Of course it doesn't help that the man was not really in love with his wife and had fallen for his assistant. The only reason why this case is not five stars was that I guessed at who was behind the whole thing. 

The Arcadian Deer (3 stars)-This one was weird to me. Poirot gets stranded in a remote village and is asked to find out about a missing maid. Poirot travels to Italy and Switzerland in this one. And I had so many questions about how much money Poirot has that he is able to do things like this. The solution to this one was pretty odd I thought.

 

The Erymanthian Boar (5 stars)-Due to Poirot still being in Switzerland due to his last case, he is called upon by a local policeman in helping to track down a highly wanted criminal. I do have to say though, there is a side character called Schwartz who I did find highly annoying. He and Poirot's comments on women traveling alone was aggravating. I imagine that Christie was drawing some ire towards Poirot and this other fictional character. The solution to this one I found to be pretty clever. 

 

The Augean Stables (5 stars)-This once again was a pretty cool case. Poirot was called in to help out the current Prime Minister who is trying to get ahead of the scandal due to his predecessor who is also his father in law.  How Poirot goes about dealing with the scandal was quite clever and the ending that came with Poirot almost getting throttled for the first time in his life cracked me up. 

 

The Stymphalean Birds (5 stars)-This story starts off a bit differently. We follow a man (Harold Waring) who is on vacation where he befriends an older woman (Mrs. Rice) and her daughter (Mrs. Elise Clayton) who are also vacationing. Harold becomes increasingly afraid of two older Polish women who seem malevolent to him. Harold also finds himself becoming increasingly attracted to Elise and feels sorry for her based on what her mother has said about her marriage. When Elise's husband shows up and accuses her of having an affair with Harold. Murder ensues. We have Poirot who also seems to be vacationing who comes along and meets Harold who is freaking out over the whole situation. When Poirot reveals all once again you are left surprised. Or at least I was. 

 

The Cretan Bull (3 stars)-This one was a lot of nonsense to me. A woman (Diana) comes to Poirot due to the fact that her fiancee (Hugh Chandler) has called off his marriage claiming that he is going insane. Apparently it's genetic (yeah, not touching that at all) and he has seen signs that he has done some things. Poirot goes down to visit with Diana, her fiancee, and her fiancee's father and his best friend and of course gets to the bottom of things. I have to call boo towards the solution though. Also we have Poirot and his odd brand of justice taking place in this story. 

 

The Horses of Diomedes (2 stars)-A friend of Poirot's, Dr. Michael Stoddart calls for his help. Poirot arrives and Dr. Stoddart tells him about a possible cocaine epidemic going through a crowd. Stoddart is particularly worried about a young woman named Sheila Grant. Sheila is the daughter of a retired general and has three other sisters. Stoddart is worried that Sheila will become addicted which can lead her towards ruin. Poirot meets with Sheila's father and others nearby to see who could possibly be bringing drugs into the area. I have to say that the solution to this one did not make any sense to me at all. And who would even set up something like this? 

 

The Girdle of Hippolyta (3 stars)-A man called Alexander Simpson asks Poirot for help when a painting goes missing. Poirot is told that the painting is most likely on it's way to France and Simpson wants him to find it before it is carried off. On top of this case, Poirot is asked to look into a kidnapping of a teenage girl called Winnie King. Winnie goes missing on a train (Christie and her trains) and is later found drugged up. Winnie was supposed to be heading to France to school and what happened to her and why leads Poirot down a long winding path. I just didn't buy the solution in this one at all. It made very little sense to me. Then again maybe I was getting flashbacks to "Mystery of the Blue Train" and got irritated. 

 

The Flock of Geryon (5 stars)-A character we meet in the Case of the Nemean Lion is back in this one. I won't reveal this person's name since it may clue people into the solution in that one. I did enjoy though that Poirot had a side kick again in this one. Poirot is asked to look into a cult and the leader's possible connections to the deaths of some of the older members of the cult who were thinking of leaving money to him.

 

The Apples of Hesperides (2 stars)-Honestly I was bored with this one from beginning to end. I guess the moral of the story is that rich people get sad too. I don't know. I just was glad to be done with it. 

 

The Capture of Cerebus (3 stars)-Even though this one stars one of Poirot's favorite women, the Countess Vera Rossakoff, I found myself bored. Poirot is invited to visit Hell (a new club in London) and once within its gates he finds that not all is what it seems. He meets a fairly aggravating girl that is engaged to the Countess's son who is away in America. And Poirot also meets a very large dog which would have given Cerebus a run for his money.