...or are all of my friends faking the funk?
Spoiler: There is nothing wrong with me and all my friends are fucking liars.
But let me tell you how I came to that conclusion.
Let me give you some background. So one of my...I wanna say best friends, but we've really grown apart over the years. I'll say a good friend who was once like a sister to me. We've known each other since elementary school so we're the same age. Our oldest kids are the same age. I have another child who is nearly college age, while her younger kids are still in elementary school (I think. I'm gonna be honest and say we've grown far enough apart that I can't remember how old her younger kids are)--so you can kind of see where our lives started to veer into different directions. She also has a grandchild, while my kids have promised me grand cats, but never grand kids.
I've said all this to say that she has just given birth to another child. Now when she first told me she was pregnant, I asked all the pertinent questions. What the hell were you thinking? Why didn't you make your husband get snip-snipped? Have you thought about not having the baby? When all of her answers were (in my opinion) stupid, I just said, "Well, I support your decision; good luck." Because it's her life and who am I to make decisions for her? We've known each other long enough and well enough to know that she knows I think she's insane without either of us having to say the words.
Now we've grown far enough apart that if not for facebook, I would know next to nothing about her life, let alone that she was pregnant, or that the baby had been born. Which, fine, lives change and people grow apart. Lately I've only been checking facebook about once or twice a week at best. So when I got on the other day, I saw that she had the baby a day or two earlier and posted about it. There were some minor complications, but mom and baby came through it healthy, so I only responded, "Congrats, I'm glad both mom and baby are well." I saw a bunch of other comments with people being elated by the news, and so happy and excited, and can't wait to see the baby. I just shrugged and got the hell off facebook.
So I got on facebook yesterday because I posted something about my family. Anyway I saw another post by my friend, which I only half read, but it ended with something about enjoying the baby being quiet while it lasted and also a photo of the baby. My reaction was to cringe/shudder and skim the comments. To my shock there were so many of my friends and peers saying cutesy things about the baby and wanting to kiss him and visit and how happy they were for her.
And I thought to myself, am I wrong? I am not happy for her because they were already struggling emotionally and financially with the three they had. She was done and only had maybe another 10 or so years before the other two were at least college age if not already out on their own. At the very least job age and they could help ease the financial strain by buying their own extras/luxuries, or maybe paying their own cell phone bills, or something of the like. She has now started over and will be close to 60-years-old before this new kid is [legally] old enough to fend for himself. And also babies! At the stage of life I'm currently in, babies suck! They're completely dependent on others, they cry too much, and keep you up and they cost a lot of money and they suck up all of your time. To me, that is not "cute", and I have no desire to come see your baby, or hold your baby, let alone kiss your baby. I mean I cringe when someone brings a baby to a restaurant. Why? Because I had my babies, I raised my babies, and I'm now done with babies. I enjoy having time to myself, which is hard enough when you have a clingy teenager. no imagine a baby! No thank you!
The thing is, this of friends have all had similar beginning paths. Most of us had kids young and have moved on to the point in our lives where were moving into to grandparent territory. Or you know just living our lives for ourselves territory. Why, oh why, would you want to start over?! And why are all these bitches lying about it? I love my friends, I do, but they are all lying liars, who lie! I made sure my husband got snip-snipped over 10 years ago, just so we wouldn't find ourselves in this predicament. And the sad thing is that she isn't the first of my friends to have what my mom calls a change-of-life-baby. She's the third--fourth if you count my next door neighbor.
So it's not me, it's just that group of friends who are all dirty, dirty liars. And I confirmed this with both of my kids and my husband who all agree that I'm normal and my friends are all lying so that they don't look like bad people. I don't care how bad of a person people think I am because I want absolutely nothing to do with babies. Unless it's baby animals, then I'm all in. I'll just be the asshole friend how doesn't comment at all about how cute your baby is, and I won't come visit just to see the baby. I talked it over with myself, and I'm okay with being the asshole. I'm too busy living my best baby-free life to care.