Verbrechen - 4.5 stars

American Panda - 5 stars

 

Favorite book(s) of the month:

EVERYTHING

 

Books started this month but haven't finished yet:

Still, Tote Asche, Percy Jackson - Die Schlacht um das Labyrinth, Gläsernes Schwert, On The Come Up

 

Random ramblings:

I didn't even wanted to post this but here we go. I was in the worst reading slump last month and reading just felt like the worst chore and I just didn't wanna do it but made myself do it, which ended with me reading and not going anywere. That's why this month I decided to take the first week off, it's nearly over and I find myself being excited about reading again. Thank god.

english review (not spoilerfree)

audiobook on audible

 

Summary: At seventeen, Mei should be in high school, but skipping fourth grade was part of her parents' master plan. Now a freshman at MIT, she is on track to fulfill the rest of this predetermined future: become a doctor, marry a preapproved Taiwanese Ivy Leaguer, produce a litter of babies.

With everything her parents have sacrificed to make her cushy life a reality, Mei can't bring herself to tell them the truth--that she (1) hates germs, (2) falls asleep in biology lectures, and (3) has a crush on her classmate Darren Takahashi, who is decidedly not Taiwanese.

But when Mei reconnects with her brother, Xing, who is estranged from the family for dating the wrong woman, Mei starts to wonder if all the secrets are truly worth it. Can she find a way to be herself, whoever that is, before her web of lies unravels?

 

My review: Character growth at it's finest!!!

 

I love Mei. I love her in the beginning of the book where she tries very hard to please her parents but gets no affection in return. I love her while she is struggeling to make her own decisions, live the life she actually wants to live without offending her parents. And I love her when she finally stands up for herself. I LOVE HER, she has just such an amazing growth throughout the whole book.

 

I loved Mei reconnecting with her brother and the whole relationship she started to have with him and his future wife. And just everything. I was so excited when she made the first step towards him.

 

I also really liked that she started for form relationships at college. That she and her roomate made up and that they started to have a really sweet friendship. Also her budding romance with Darren, who I truly loved. I really liked how their relationship developed. What I loved even more was that the relationship between them didn't overpower the story. At the end of it all, this was Mei's story, finding her own voice in a family that liked to control everything about their children.

 

To be honest, I was pretty sure the book would end with Mei being completely cut off from her parents, but I'm glad that her mother actually came around, that she really tried to make an effort to better her relationship with her daughter.

 

Overall I truly loved the story, the characters and the writing (I also really enjoyed the voice of the audiobook reader). I can't wait to read more by the author.

SPOILER:
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I haven't hated bookish parents like that in a really long time. I get that I don't know anything about their traditions but the parents are just really controlling and I don't like that at all. Both kids not doing something they want them to do, and the get cut off just like that. I'm not sure how they will ever come around.

What really stood out to me about American Panda is its depiction of complex parental relationships, where the parents want the child to fulfill an ideal instead of seeing the child as they are. The scene where Mei takes her mom around campus and for once doesn't feel like she's walking on eggshells and that they are finally having a sincere interaction is heartbreaking. Mei and her family are the core of the book and why it's powerful despite sometimes feeling... stilted or jumbled together? Mei doesn't know how to be herself for most of the book so maybe that is her repressing feelings, and her relationship with Darren feels rushed. She has a lot of character traits but they feel placed on her instead of part of her, which is why I struggled with the book, but looking forward to reading more of Chao's writing in the future.