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text 2018-08-06 11:57
I'm Not Okay
Not book related <.< sorry.
TW: Mental Health & Suicide
Disclaimer: **I am not diagnosed (as an adult) for my mental health disorder(s), but I don’t need a doctor to write on paper to tell me I have depression & social anxiety/general anxiety. I don't deny that it would be helpful to know my exact disorders so I could get treatment/therapy, however, we have no insurance yet.(soon! crossing fingers) As a child I was put on antidepressants, so I was diagnosed with something at one point. These are my thoughts and opinions on mental health, and my own personal experiences. Everyone’s mental health journeys are different. End the stigma! Talk about mental health disorders and invisible illnesses!**
The nitty gritty about having a mental health disorder is that it can be so up in the air. I never know if a day will be good or bad. I guess you get so used to the feeling of sadness, random outburst of crying and dark thoughts, that it feels normal, and you don’t notice it get gradually worse. When you are buried so deep, you don’t care about taking care of yourself, so you are in a vicious cycle that is hard to break out of. You stop taking care of your hygiene, stop caring about eating enough or sleeping enough. Or maybe you eat too much (binge) and sleep too much, or maybe you don't sleep enough! Executive dysfunction doesn’t help, of course.
I think my normal state of feeling is sort of a numbness or a nothingness. It is really scary, to be honest. My emotions, even love for people or passion for my interests can be turned off on a dime and I have no feelings. I can be in the worst meltdown and then stop on that dime and freeze up and think or say “never mind. I’m fine.” I believe that is one of the reasons as a kid when I would cry or “throw a fit” and just stop out of nowhere, my mom joked about me being good at crocodile tears and that I should be an actress.
I am not sure I fully know what true happiness feels like because it is always clouded with dark, depressing thoughts. I don’t think people understand how you can be depressed or have a mental health disorder, but also have days of “wellness” If you smile, laugh or act goofy, they think “oh, yay, you’re cured now.” Even worse, they believe nothing was ever wrong with you. Some people actually believe depression and anxiety is not a real thing. People with mental health disorders or neurological disorders have become very good at masking/faking in order to fit in. Thank about that.
Anyone can have an invisible illness. The number of people in the entertainment industry who have died from suicide is an indicator of this. They are rich, famous, usually well-loved, yet they are ill, sad, probably feel alone in a crowd of people. They get so much attention because they are famous and a lot of it is negative from people who can’t comprehend how someone rich and famous who has “everything” can end their life.
You can have everything and feel like you have nothing. It doesn’t matter who you are, mental health disorders and invisible illnesses do not discriminate. When someone who suffers from a mental health disorder dies by suicide, they did not commit anything, no crime. They lost a battle with their long-suffering illness. We shouldn’t judge anybody. We should be there for each other, even strangers.
If someone looks sad, ask if they are okay, or if they want to talk. Smile more, at friends and family, even at strangers. A smile or heartfelt compliment could change a person’s day for the better. These are things I know, but I don’t always practice them, because I am stuck in my own downward spiral. It is hard to dig out of that hole when nobody is around and your emotions come on strong and then sometimes shut off altogether.
I do nothing, at least that is how it would appear to people who don’t understand me. I don’t have a job. #1 Social anxiety & depression #2 Chronic pain makes it limited to what work I could actually do.
I sleep, eat, get on the computer and live vicariously through so many people on YouTube. It is like a coping mechanism, it makes me feel better, or sometimes emotionless, which is better than crippling despair, I guess? I go through phases of what type of videos I like. Sometimes about books, sometimes more “real talk” sort of videos where people just share their everyday lives. Lately, I’ve been into watching true crime and ghost hunting videos.
Sometimes I read books. Sometimes I play games on my phone. Sometimes I mess with my doll collection. Yes, so, to the outside world, I do nothing. But something very big that I am doing is LIVING. I might not have a paying job, but it is a JOB just to keep myself alive. I would be lying if I said I didn't have suicidal thoughts.
I’m sorry if you don’t understand or if that makes you sad. It’s just the truth. Thinking of death, wanting to die and believing the world would be better off without me are just some of the dark things in my brain. My mental health and chronic pain are huge factors to these feelings. I am more inclined to think about dark and morbid things. My mind tells me nobody cares about me, it nags at me that I am a burden to people. I do know this isn’t true, but sometimes I can’t understand why people would care about me, let alone love me.
I don’t hardly reach out to friends and family because of being depressed and social anxiety, but how many times do they reach out to me? (And I mean heartfelt reaching out, not tagging me in a spam post or liking a post, or something.) Everyone is dealing with their own stuff, I get it. Also, understand when you do reach out to someone with depression, they might not respond at first or they might not know how to respond. If you care about them or love them, don’t stop letting them know.
Just... I’m lonely. I miss the time when it was so simple to make friends and maintain them. I’m not okay, but I am trying to cope.
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text 2018-08-02 06:58
This Is Where You Will Find the Finest Italian Restaurants


You will want to find very good Italian restaurants when feast time arrives. It is better to already have your options at hand before its time to eat. Then, you will spend less time and effort looking for a good place to eat on an empty stomach. https://healthnewstribune.com/ has a very fine selection of good Italian restaurants for different tastes and moods. From original pizza to pasta, this article is the perfect guideline to help you land the finest Italian eating-joints. After that, it’s all left to you. You can go ahead and pick according to your preference.



This stylish restaurant serves the best Italian food with some accents of Mediterranean cuisine on the menu. The international wine collection and alluring taste of the food will keep you happy throughout your stay and long after you have left.


Fratelli Paradiso

Locals and chefs have all hailed this place as one of the finest Italian diners Sydney.

From 7 am till 11pm, this restaurant is serving a full Italian menu, breakfast, lunch and dinner all included. The staff is so friendly and the atmosphere is fully Italian.


Verace Pizzeria

Almost every place, including roadside shops, claim they have the best pizza in the world. At this restaurant, that claim will not be a lie! You only need a bite to realize you just hit gold.  This pizza place has literally won awards for world’s best pizza, no kidding! The wood fired pizzas here are made with commitment and love; you will get the most authentic pizza ever.


Da Mario

If you like a serene environment with your food, go straight to Da Mario. This is one of Italian eateries Sydney that serves the best Italian food with handling plants in an industrious setting. The wood fired pizza is to die for and the pasta is remarkably amazing.


Lucio Pizzeria

Lucio’s Pizza now has a bigger place where the chefs can showcase their skills for customers to see. The Darlinghurst site has an impeccable selection of pasta and pizza made from handpicked ingredients for a fresh taste.


Buffalo Dining Club

From the humble beginnings of a cheese bar, this world renowned restaurant has grown bigger and better over the years. The signature simple pasta with cheese has resounded on social media pages to make it one of the finest Italian fine-dine restuarants. They don’t take bookings, so go there early enough to grab your share.


Society Pizerria di Catania

Innovation meets authentic taste at Society Pizerria di Catania. Using the best season’s ingredients and baking in a wood fired oven, this fine Sydney Italian restaurant stands out amongst others in variety and taste.



Eating out in one of the many Italian restaurants that you can find in Health News Tribune is not difficult at all. There are so many places and different kinds of food to choose from. Because of the large Italian population, there are many of restaurants with heavy Italian menus to offer. With this guide, you can find the finest Italian restaurants Sydney and have the best dining experiences.

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text 2018-07-31 08:55


Boxing will have you depleted a minute, yet continue with it standard and it will fabricate splendid stamina. Not to neglect the speed, quality and deterrent. In addition, if nothing else, those cool gigantic gloves will keep taking you back to the ring.





Sureness is the best approach to getting wherever for the duration of regular day to day existence. In case you don’t believe in yourself, by then for what reason would it be fitting for anybody to else? In case hitting the weights impacts you to feel strong, hold up until the point when the moment that you understand that your grip hands can protect you. The refinement is huge. Lifting impacts you to feel strong. Boxing impacts you to feel solid. That conviction the issue solvers kind of sureness can’t be expanded some other way than making sense of how to fight.


There’s a common contention between cardio and weight getting ready. Most colleagues would lean toward not to look like a roided up split show. They have to look tore and athletic. Boxing is both anaerobic and aerobic. You can burn gigantic calories hitting the generous sack. If you fight and I recommend each man battle in any occasion once, the arrangement will change you into a mammoth.


It’s hard to get the hang of anything without preparing. You can deceive yourself about how routinely you run or go to the gym. But in the event that you have to persevere through the anguish of embarrassment, you get ready hard reliably.


If you can manage boxing setting you up, can transform into whatever you require. Between the specific planning, mental obsession, solidness and physical trim, there is no space for laziness or non-commitment. The boxing you practise every day can be associated with anything.




There’s nothing more enjoyable than slugging it out for two or three rounds. Its great weight mitigation and you’re getting perfectly healthy. Boxing is the primary go through various people are impartially judged. This assessment gives them a target and a test to survive. There aren’t various things which incite you like boxing. When you find something testing, you have to remain with it in light of the way that overcoming challenges is basic to euphoria.

Source: fitpass.co.in/boxing-classes-in-delhi
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text 2018-07-28 00:29
I'm Alive

[I haven't been on here because I've not been reading... >/<]


Anyways...just wanted to say hi and share something, sorry I've got nothing book related. [TW: Implied eating disorder mentioned]



I broke up with a toxic relationship. This has put me on the path of a new journey, a magical adventure!

I stopped talking about my health journey (as in my "weight loss" journey) because it got me to an obsessive point with working out, tracking every little detail and trying and failing to change my diet many, many times.

It made my relationship with food worse. I would punish myself when I ate something "bad" by going on a fast, which meant not eating for a day or so. Sometimes I told myself, "okay, I will try to do a 3 day fast, or even a week fast." I seriously wanted to, but I never made it and ended up binge eating something "bad" again and starting the cycle of punishing myself all over again. The fast was seen as a good thing, a cleanse, so to speak.

Not only that but beating myself up constantly while on my so-called journey. I would push myself to go beyond what I know my body could do on certain days because I didn't want to let others down by failing. I think that may be one reason why my chronic pain, depression, and anxiety are at an all-time high. I put too much pressure on my mind, body, and soul.

Goodbye Diet Culture. We're never, ever getting back together. I'm striving to love myself and my body in all its stages. I am working toward not caring one lick what others think of me and my body. I'm working toward being positive, finding peace and tranquillity.

Here are things I want to be routine & practice daily: Meditation, positive affirmations (even if that means talking to myself more), stretching, working up to yoga, remembering gratitude...etc.

As for food, no food is bad, but I honestly know that because of my digestive problems and autoimmune, there are foods I should avoid. However, I won't beat myself up if I eat them. I'm trying to learn to eat intuitively and my body is not liking wheat, too much dairy, and meat. Not only do these things make me really sick/in pain or jump-start IBS, they just make me feel sluggish, heavy and generally unwell.

I usually write dark poetry(which has its purpose), but I will leave you with something positive I wrote yesterday:

Hear Me,
Power of Healing
Let me be free of anxiety


Hear Me,
Power of Healing
Let me be cleansed of dark energy


Hear Me,
Power of Healing
Cleanse my mind and my space


Cleanse, heal, peace
Cleanse, heal, peace
Cleanse, heal, peace



If you read this, you are beautiful, you are worthy, the world needs you and I love you.


Blessed Be!

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review 2018-07-25 11:38
Only for people already familiar with both forms of exercise
Yoga-Pilates: The Ultimate Fusion for Health and Fitness - Jonathan Monks

I will keep this review short and on point. I do not think Pilates and yoga should be combined in any way, shape or form. They are two separate forms of exercise and have their own rules, principles and outcomes. 


Pilates is a safe method of exercising that doesn't make the body bend in any unnatural way or go into any movement that we do not already use in our daily lives. Yoga is almost the opposite. The movements in yoga are those of extremes and in my opinion only experienced and knowledgeable people should do it. Those people are familiar with moving their body to the extremes through safe methods whilst the casual practitioner can do a lifetime of lasting damage to the body. One sudden movement in a complicated position can dislodge something, twist something, strain something, break something etc.


I am all for exercising and living healthy but I also think that people do not educate themselves enough and do not go into exercising with a concentrated and prepared mind so the exercises given to them should be the safest and harmless as possible. Then the person can get all the benefits it they go into it with their heart and mind but also if they do not, they will not suffer any consequences. That is why I believe that combining Pilates and yoga is not a good thing or a good way to go.


Apart from that, the book is not meant for beginners or for people who have never heard of any basics of Pilates and/or yoga. This book offers some good advice in certain areas and some exercises and it offers a nice sequence of exercises but that is pretty much it.

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