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review 2014-09-09 21:50
The Monsters of Templeton - Lauren Groff

Half of this book tells the story of Wilhelmina Upton, scion of a prominent upstate New York family which includes her hometown's founder and his son, a prominent novelist. The book opens when Willie returns to Templeton feeling disgraced, having fled her PhD research in the aftermath of a doomed affair. I could relate to some of her misfortunes, which--in addition to the escalating wackness of her circumstances and the incongruous touches of a house ghost and a town monster--kept me interested enough to finish this book. Besides, the other characters put an occasional check on Willie's more insufferable tendencies (such as her repeated moping that the whole world is going downhill).

 

But in order to get to the end, I had to speed through the other half of the book, composed of chapters from a dozen different character perspectives (and a couple in plural voice), all very badly executed. Like being subjected to a town history tour given by a third-rate impressionist. Seriously, there are cameos in the voices of a moustache-twirling French cad and a simpering spinster and a few "me no talk good" early American people of color and these are all completely terrible.

 

Three stars for Willie's story, barely two for the interspersed "historical" voices. You might like this book more if you're native to upstate New York or partial to James Fenimoore Cooper, whose real and imagined stories are the book's source material.

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review 2014-06-17 23:19
The Monsters of Templeton - Lauren Groff

I picked this up at BAM in the bargain book section for under $4 and I'm quite pleased with it. I knew this one had some mixed ratings going in. I ended up really liking it. It had a nice little mystery which is always a plus for me.  I also liked the mixed Pov. Sometimes mixed Pov can be a disaster, but worked nicely here. It was a bit pretentious and did sport a hipster dinner party, but overall wasn't enough to make me hate them all. 

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review 2013-12-18 03:05
I don't do well with literary fiction
The Monsters of Templeton - Lauren Groff

When I picked this up, I didn't quite realize that it was intended to be Literature. I'm a reader of genre books. I devour mystery and fantasy and scifi. I don't believe in "modern classics" and Deep Inner Meanings and books that take themselves seriously. Long story short, I have low tastes, and I like it that way. It is clear that Groff intends her ghosts and monsters to be metaphors, reminiscent of Beloved in Toni Morrison's brilliant book. However, while that plot revolves around Beloved, while her recalcitrance and her voracious appetite and her consuming desires open new perspectives onto the theme of the narrative, Groff's monster and ghosts have no impact on the story itself and seem to exist only as clumsy and blatant metaphors. The monster is, to my mind, merely a tremendous conceit, a garish pointer to all the oh-so-significant symbolism of it all.

 

I'm not forgiving towards literary fiction and it's entirely possible I've missed the whole Literary-ness of the enterprise.

**WARNING: REVIEW IS CRANKY, UNKIND, AND POTENTIALLY QUITE UNFAIR.**

 

Since I tend to read genre fiction, I have certain expectations. For example, I expect books to have a certain amount of plot, and I expect plots to have a certain amount of logic. Monsters of Templeton does indeed have a plot; it's the logic that is rather more problematic. The story begins when our narrator, Wilhemina "Willie" Temple, returns to her hometown, fearing that an ill-judged affair with her professor has left her pregnant. She is taken aback to discover that her ex-hippie mother, Vivianne "Vi" Temple, has converted to Christianity[1], Vi decides that confession is good for the soul and blurts that her previous story of a free-love conception and 10.5 month pregnancy was a lie and that Willie's father is actually a resident of Templeton. However, Vi won't give any more details, and, in lieu of a wage-earning job, Willie sets herself the task of finding her father. As she explains,

"[Vi] could've told me who my father was easily, but I needed to know the precise weight of what my family carried; I needed to work for my redemption."

Personally, I find the rationale illogical and contrived; outside of plot necessity, why would Vi encourage Willie to find her father, yet refuse to just tell her?

 

Willie's research is occasionally interrupted by sporadic worries about her best friend, who is slowly dying of lupus on the other side of the country. One would think that it would be nice for Willie to help care for her friend rather than collapsing in self-indulgent pity-fests, but conveniently, she and her friend mutually agree that Willie is "such a mess" that she needs to figure out who her father is before she is "able" to assist her ailing friend. Again, I can see why the plot required that Willie be relieved of all responsibility, but while Willie's friend may be more forgiving, I have little sympathy for a character who drowns herself in her own selfish, self-centered self-pity.

 

In fact, I found Willie unlikable throughout the narrative. It's a personal foible, but I can't really warm to a woman who labels a jealous wife "The Castrating Bitch," carries on an affair with TCB's husband, and utterly fails to see the hypocrisy of her position. I'm also unmoved by Willie's "amusing" little attempt to run over the wife with a plane. Not to put too fine a spin on it, I think Willie is an entitled, egotistical, selfish, self-obsessed [bleep].

 

The narrative interleaves the stories of several generations, with each segment told in first person via journals, letters, etc. Unfortunately, I think Groff epically fails to construct unique voices for her characters. Every single narrator, independent of the generation, gender, or general gestalt, has the same voice. The themes and events, including the obsession with pregnancy, are also surprisingly uniform. The sheer number of illegitimate children strained both patience and credulity. Not only is the rhythm and imagery and sentence structure indistinguishable, but even the vocabularies fail to reflect the character's past. For instance, the non-native-speaking slave women and Native American characters effortlessly use words such as "jostling", "prying", and "pity." Granted, Groff's style is quite readable, but I think the multiple first-person narrators only showcases the rigid uniformity of her style.

 

Even the monster had a bit of Logic Fail: given that there should have been at least two generations of monsters over the saga, how could the previous monster's body not have risen far earlier?

(spoiler show)


The overall setting also failed to raise my opinion of the book. The town, its history, and its environs are so strongly based on Cooperstown that I can't give Groff credit for an imagination or rich worldbuilding. Groff even "borrows" the names of author J.F. Temple's (a.k.a. James Fennimore Cooper's) characters such as Natty Bumppoe, and locations such as the Leatherstocking Inn. All the historical sections are "homages" to various authors, including Cooper and Austen. Groff even attempted to ape the whimsy of Cooper or Dickens with character names such as Cinnamon, Ginger, and Piddle, but whimsy quickly becomes painful when it is so forced. I have issues with cut-and-paste jobs: if you want to write fiction, then don't steal your hometown, your hometown's famous author, your hometown's famous author's books and characters, and heaven only knows what else.

 

And then there's the language. Apparently, if you're of a literary persuasion, the language is rich and smooth and fluid and lyrical and lovely. I thought it was indeed fluid and smooth and quite easy to consume, but also cloying and overblown, with occasional noisome sputterings and a gawdawful aftertaste, rather like that spray cheese that comes in cans[3]. Groff also never allows the reader to infer the speaker, but also limits her dialogue tags to the overworked "said." Writing style is highly subjective and I'm by no means an expert on the difference between poetic and turgid, so here's some examples. Yes, the whole book is like this:

  • "I first became aware of the air having changed--there was a slight coolness to it, a sense of damp wool. And then I heard the voice, a deep bass and yet unctuous, singsonglike--like an oiled bassoon."

 

  • "[I] imagined Vivienne Upton filling all of Averell Cottage with her glory, until everything held the color and viscosity of honey in the sun. I held the old packet of letters in my hand and imagined Vi filling all of Lake Street with her goodness, then pouring and pouring until she filled all of Templeton, entire."

 

  • "And then his big man's body was leaning against mine, pressing my body into the door. And his breath was near my face, then his face was near my face, then his lips near my lips and he was kissing me. My lips were numb, but even so, it was true what they said: Felch was a killer kisser. Lips soft and full. Tongue just forceful enough. I closed my eyes because everything was swimming before me and in the dark of my eyelids, I forgot where I was, Templeton fell away, Averell Cottage fell away, the long, strange day fell away, and there I was nowhere but inside my skin, and I was warming up, warming perceptibly under his hands and his mouth, hands down the length of my bare thighs, the door hard on my back..."[2]

 

  • "And so though the lake looks all pretty and simple and almost blank now that Glimmey's gone, there's some sort of menace, I think, just lurking there. It's very, very scary."

 

  • "Below our feet, there will be swimming a white monster, a beautiful thing, brushing its back on our feet, young and naughty."

There's also humour but it felt forced to me. Take, for example, a conversation after a pen explodes (improbably) all over Willie's face:

"Oh, yes," I said. "It's a medical condition. Unfortunate, really. Sometimes my cynicism about this big ugly world of ours builds up pressure and bursts all over me. Nothing I can do. Sorry."
"Oh," said Peter Lieder. "I, too, suffer from explosapenitis."

Hilarious. My sides are splitting.

 

Groff isn't a scientist and isn't a historian, and I have to say, I could tell. At one point, Willie asks,"Why, I always wonder, do scientists believe that unintelligibility equals intelligence?"  Answer: they don't. They do, however, believe in precision of language and absence of hyperbolic phrasing and adjective-stuffed similes such as:

  • "Grief woke and stretched like a cat in me"
  • "Our bodies tense as taut rubber bands"
  • "Tightening his fists into dangerous mallets"
  • "It was his silky erection sliding across my thigh now."
  • "I imagined Sully in the cold San Francisco summer night, the Coit Tower bright and phallic beside him."
  • "The congregation's breath rose from our bodies, tethered to us like souls."

And then there's the offenses towards the English language:

  • "The phone in my bedroom rang once more. I felt sober, old, and went to pick it up."
  • "I felt tears in my voice" (Don't you mean "heard tears in my voice" or "felt tears in my throat"?)
  • "[He] trembled the ground." (I checked, and as far as I can see, the ground can tremble, and you can cause the ground to tremble, but you cannot "tremble the ground.")
  • "[I] began to speak so quickly my words tumbled over one another like wavelets." (They don't.)
  • "Split one of his teeth in two." (I'm sorry, did you mean "chip"? Because you can chip a tooth. You can't randomly "split" one in two.)

Overall, while Groff does have both talent and potential, I think the book sinks under the weight of its own self-conscious pretensions. I found the language to be overwrought, clumsy, and contrived.  Groff tried to shoehorn Deep Inner Meaning into as many commonplace interactions as possible, but it left the writing packed with overstatement and blatant metaphors.  I think Groff pushed the imagery, the themes of monsters within us, so earnestly and with such self-importance that she put plot before people and lost the soul of her story. 

 

On the other hand, it might just be that I don't do well with literary fiction and should go back to my pleasantly pedestrian pulp.

 

One of the two.

 

[1] Apparently some evangelical protestant group, despite the author's repeated references to crucifixes.
[2]The sentence continues onwards for about a paragraph, but I'm too lazy to keep typing. You get the gist.

[3]See, Ms. Groff? Those similes don't require talent. Just disregard for reader patience and/or sanity.

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review 2013-11-18 00:00
The Monsters of Templeton
The Monsters of Templeton - Lauren Groff,Nicole Roberts Awww!
This book totally makes me squeal (in my mind, so as not to disturb those around me), "Awww!" Like the Portlandia dumpster diver. I can't find a Portlandia Aww meme and am too lazy to make my own, so just imagine it here and move along.

Here are the things that just tickled me pink (I'm already pink, though)(well, kind of an olive pink, so...pinive. I'm pinive)(no, not oink. Don't even)
-The mayor sports ornamental canes and too-short shorts! Bwahahaha! Such perfect small-town imagery, it cracked me up so much.
--Finding out your dad(s) isn't your dad! YES! YES! I know all about this! And the worry, the "Crap! I may have dated my brother because I didn't know we were related!" when you're in a small town and both parents live there! OMG! YES!
---Yay for Library Love even if the librarians start out as stereotypes. But that the author moved beyond the stereotypes to explore the other stereotype (that librarians are quirky and hard to figure out until you get to know them) = SO MUCH LOVE!
----Awww! Monsters with little dead people dolls! Adorable!

I really enjoyed listening to this. I liked the reader quite well, I liked the story, I liked the family history being untangled (I'm a sucker for those stories), I liked the setting and how it was based on [a:James Fenimore Cooper|9121|James Fenimore Cooper|https://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/authors/1210528548p2/9121.jpg]'s town and works, I liked the dead lake monster. I liked it all...except Willie.
It's not that I didn't like Willie, per se, but that I was bored by her, specifically. In my mind, she was more of a hub, the reason we got to hear all these other stories. She seemed younger than her 27 (28?) years; she was ridiculously self-involved which didn't seem to make sense to my mind. She's been out in the Alaskan tundra, digging up bodies. Well, a body. Maybe. I figured she'd be tougher, would have a more sophisticated worldview or something. I dunno. I didn't think she'd act like a first-time-around college student who just realized she'd been knocked up by a professor. Maybe everyone reacts to being knocked up by a professor in the same fashion, no matter her age or experiences? I dunno. All I know is that when Willie was talking, I was yawning.
And that led me to have half-tepid feelings at the end. The discovery of her father seemed anticlimactic to me. Actually, I didn't even care. I loved her family history and everything she dug up, but the actual revealing of the dad? I was uninterested.
At the same time, the other part of the ending, the monster, made me happy. It was autorenewal for the town, much like Willie was autorenewal for the townsfolk in a way. Ok, actually no. She wasn't that at all. But the monster = a rebirthiness and now the town can enter another era, a new Glimmy era? I'm sure the monster signifies something deeper, grander than what I'm picking up, but I don't care because I just loved the whole concept.
And the ghost. The ghost in the house. I liked how that was treated as just another aspect of life in this strange little place that never changes.
But not Willie. I did not like Willie.
I am now determined to go read the rest of Cooper's works, having previously only read [b:The Deerslayer|246245|The Deerslayer|James Fenimore Cooper|https://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1309206496s/246245.jpg|15188375] and [b:The Last of the Mohicans|38296|The Last of the Mohicans (The Leatherstocking Tales #2)|James Fenimore Cooper|https://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1320511322s/38296.jpg|2064030] So I will be a better educated individual thanks to this story!

I was left with one lingering question, though: Aristables Mudge (I'm taking a wild guess at that spelling), the apothecary and then pharmacist. What is his story??
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review 2013-06-13 00:00
The Monsters of Templeton - Lauren Groff have a shufty around the boards, and toy with locating the best bargain.Spotted on GoldCato's update
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