Twelve mildly amusing fictions in vague science from an old-fashioned English gentleman who believes wholeheartedly in the cast iron foundation of rocket ships, good manners and always firing a warning shot over the heads of any belligerent mob before sending in the memsahib to duff ’em up.If variety is the spice of life then this collection is a damnably splendid curry of improbable human conditions and improbable human beings. The ingredients include a spot of gentle medieval scifi, proper rocket ships, alien invasion of England, secret government satellites crashing and releasing stockpiled dinosaur DNA, insane Cold War time travel, groovy Victorian orang-utans in space, the televising of England’s first Moon landing, a very rude first contact, young Mr Darwin’s explanation of evolution placed in startling juxtaposition to flora and fauna on a distant planet, one or two maritime ghosts, a terrifying new virus and a detective with a serious career problem. I refrain for obvious reasons from mentioning here the elderly ladies in fur bikinis, and the least said about the Austin-Morris Motor Car Company’s robotic labour relations the better. Suffice it to say that the man from the past isn’t happy, and all’s well that ends well, provided that you’re a whale.You won’t be a better person for having read this collection, but you will have a very respectable frown and a ruddy good permanently raised eyebrow under which to secure your monocle. Life is such utter nonsense.Contents The Cat Wore Electric Goggles One Saturday, Almost 2,000 Years A.D. VTC = 1:1 +/- H times ATP The Improvement Engine One Small Step for Ma’am, One Giant Leap for Ma’amkind The Unfortunate Fatal Incident at 7 AU Tiger, Tiger, Burning Bright Shall I be Mother? The Especial Relevance of Cowpats You fools! You fools! You insensible fools! The Truth, The Whole Truth And Nothing But The Truth The Almost Omnipresent Omniscient Monks