The longer we live, the more of those around us will die. And while Hallmark sympathy cards and sad movies tell us we should grieve, death arouses a lot of other feelings in us as well—weird, unnerving, complicated feelings, which we’re terrified to talk about because we suspect that, if we did, we would be judged as crazy, cold, unfilial, unfaithful, or immature. So at these crucial times, facing the biggest and most momentous dramas of our lives, we lock away deep inside us our own true responses. In so doing, we cut ourselves off from the rest of the world and from whomever we’ve lost, from our hearts and minds and from the ultimate drama that is a death in the midst of life. Questioning our sanity, doubting our humanity, we hide, pretend—and even lie. This book helps us tell the truth—to ourselves, to the dead, and to each other. Revisiting the deaths of many people she has known—loved ones, casual acquaintances, children and adults, friends and enemies—prizewinning journalist Anneli Rufus gives powerful, eloquent voice to everyone who has ever lost anyone and whose reactions wouldn’t fit into the standard template of “feel sad, cry, then get over it.”