My readers write to me on a regular basis, often entangled in a relationship with a narcissist which is both toxic and addictive at the same time. They struggle to get out of the relationship, but the cognitive dissonance of the narcissist pulls them back in. He is nice at times, and then he is critical, rigid and self-absorbed at other times. He both intrigues us and disgusts us at the very same time.
Many of these women have formed a destructive trauma bond with their narcissist. They want to get away from him, but the excitement and the puzzle of him pulls them back in. The romantic cycle that he adorns them with is often so much more alluring than that of other men. They start to become addicted to the rollercoaster rides and his sex appeal. They start to make excuses, trying to justify carrying on a relationship even when the relationship is difficult and trying.
Once we are able to break free from a relationship with a narcissist, we want to figure out healthier ways to choose our mate. Many people don’t realize exactly how easy it is to spot this type of person on the first date. Many women miss the signs in their very first online chat and their correspondence with this type of man. If they would have been looking a bit closer, the signs were always there from the very first interaction that they had with this guy. If they would have been educated and knowledgeable, they would have dodged the narcissist bullet altogether.
This ebook seeks to enlighten and educate those who are pursuing online or other forms of dating. We can look at the behaviors of those with whom we are interested in, and then determine readily if they are a prospective mate who is worthy of our attention going forward. Life is much too short to pursue a relationship with a narcissist – even if he is incredibly good looking, has a great job, or is extraordinarily intelligent. The truth of the matter is that he will always horde all of these qualities to himself, and he will share none of them with you because he will not think that you are deserving of them.

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