Many of my readers are long-time suffering daughters or sons of narcissistic mothers. They experience chronic complex PTSD for years after suffering abuse at the hands of their mother. Some people experience emotional abuse, while others also experience the physical side of the abuse from the narcissist in their lives. Some sons are even exposed to inappropriate affection from their mothers which result in Oedipal complexes. Most of these daughters and sons will agree that the words and actions of their mothers cut much deeper than the physical pain ever could.
The narcissistic mother gaslights to cause her child to feel crazy and so that they will never question her authority. You must have been mistaken, she says. I was only joking, she taunts. She lies and manipulates the child on a constant basis, rarely ever seeing a need to tell the truth. All of the narcissist’s stories are twisted and embellished in order to paint the narcissist in a positive light and to garner attention from others. The child is ever lost in the shadows of a mother who is supposed to provide unconditional and healthy love.
We wonder why toxic and narcissistic mothers are never caught abusing their children. Why are they never brought to justice? Why are their children never removed from their custody? The answer is because of the level of manipulation that goes into being narcissistic. The self-protective narcissist will lie to save themselves. They will push the blame and shame off onto the children rather than finding their own ways to cope with such negative feelings. The children deserved whatever it was that they got because they were ‘bad’ and ‘naughty’. If only they would just stop misbehaving…
The narcissistic mother whines day and night about her responsibilities. She despises and detests her own children. She believes that they were forced onto her in the first place, rather than taking accountability for having chosen the path of parenthood. She becomes the queen of her own castle, and then she delegates the responsibilities to the children instead. She treats her children as though they are her servants, but they are beneath her and rarely are deserving of any compensation for taking on such a large feat. The narcissist sits back in her Lazy Boy recliner and shouts orders to her minions. She is deserving of the special treatment, whereas they owe their life to her for having born them.

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