CITIZEN OF ALPHA COMPLEX! YOUR MANDATORY ORIENTATION STARTS HERE.The Computer is happy. The Computer is crazy. The Computer wants citizens to be happy. This drives them crazy. Many traitors threaten the underground city of Alpha Complex. Who's more dangerous - traitors or happy citizens?THERE MAY BE A TEST, FOLLOWED BY POSSIBLE TERMINATION.This all-new anthology introduces both new and returning citizens to the joys and rigors of PARANOIA. Five light-hearted stories feature backstabbing mutants, misprogrammed robots, and crazed firefights in the food vats.THIS COLLECTION WILL HELP YOU BECOME LOYAL, INFORMED, AND LOYAL.Several of these short, mayhem-filled tales feature characters from the PARANOIA novel line.* "Rule Zero": Heroic Troubleshooters seeking a stolen helpbot (from Stay Alert) find the legendary Bot Graveyard.* "Hay Fever": Efficiency auditor Clarence-Y meets his pet mouse, Ignatius (Traitor Hangout).* "Data Exhaust": Watch the head of the Department of Threat Obfuscation (Reality Optional) try to leave his apartment.* Plus "Market Research" and "Action Request" by Greg Ingber, and the history of PARANOIA.STAY ALERT! TRUST NO ONE! KEEP YOUR LASER HANDY!The Computer says so, and -THE COMPUTER IS YOUR FRIENDA PARANOIA anthology edited by Allen Varney(40,000 words - about 150 Kindle pages)Based on the bestselling roleplaying game of fear and ignorance in a darkly satirical future, official PARANOIA novels and stories are now available as ebooks from Ultraviolet Books -- and they’re even for your security clearance. Prove your loyalty! By reading The Computer is Your Friend with casual confidence, you show you're comfortable under the security camera. No, don't look, it makes you seem jumpy.PARANOIA STORIES ARE FUN. OTHER STORIES ARE NOT FUN. READ PARANOIA.