The Bohemian Guide to Monogamy - Andrew ... The Bohemian Guide to Monogamy is a collection of short stories, linked together by the frame story of a writer typing away while ignoring his pregnant wife in a cafe. All the stories deal with lust being replaced with commitment in some way. Here are a couple.

Superman Finds His Smile: After Lois and Superman break up, Aquaman talks the man of steel into going to Thailand to forget his troubles. Will Superman be able to escape the web of sex and alcohol, with Chai Lai, a sexy waitress, at the center of the web?

When a story involves Superman and hookers, you know it's going to be hilarious. That's pretty much all I need to say.

Another Lame Hospital Drama from the 90's: Police Officer Brad Pitt's wife, Brittney, goes into labor and they rush to the hospital. Can Doctor Clooney and Nurse Leonardo DiCaprio deliver the baby and save Brittney's life after she experiences complications?

This tale was just as funny as the first, involving comically gruesome child birth and some uncomfortable moments between Clooney and DiCaprio.

Some of the other stories are hard to take. Some of them are nested within each other like Matryoshka doll. They were all fairly interesting, though I didn't care for portions that were written like plays, passed notes, or emails. Three out of five stars.

This book is not for everybody. Remember that opening scene in AMERICAN BEAUTY, where Kevin Spacey was yanking himself in the shower? Yeah. Funny and realistic, but a bit uncomfortable. Right? Well…THE POOR MAN’S GUIDE TO SUICIDE kind of goes in that same direction, and then some.

 

 

I personally get it. I also have a twisted sense of humor. I often get raised eyebrows when I laugh at certain jokes. We all have different tolerances and mine borderlines on sick-o level. (Read more about this humor differential in THE HUMOR CODE.) Right off the bat, Andrew Armacost, the author, describes his character’s house as a “urinal with windows.” His life’s motto is “Survive. Eat. S[-]. F[-]. Buy a house and die.” This dude is depressed, mentally twisted, and unfortunately funny. Sick, but funny in a sardonic kind of way.

 

 

Okay, so now you kind of get the flavor of it. The protagonist seems “torn between the insincere misogyny and the howling loneliness that predicate the nature of [his] unattainable fantasies.” He has a buddy that seems to take bad stuff and fit it “through a prism that spits out rainbows.” His wives are gone, with his kids. Mainly, he’s in a rut that, as we find out, is “caused by habit and routine.” He fights against the “optimistic brainwashing” that “starts with Disney and the bible and Aesop’s fables.”

 

 

The good: humor and prison guard life. The ending was good, too, but we’ll get to that later. I’ve mentioned the humor above. As for prison guard life, it was interesting to see through the eyes of a former prison guard (as the author was…I think). I’ve read “ask me anything” threads on reddit and much of this life matches up with what is written here. There are obvious mental issues at play here, predominantly due to being grossly outnumbered by potential life-threateners. And, yeah, some of it may come off as borderline racist, but I feel the author was trying to convey the character and environment.

 

 

The not-so-good: this book flutters around in the middle. We go back to high school, and college, and daddy/mommy issues, and previous girlfriends. He talks about killing a guy, flips back in time, and doesn’t get to the story until about fifty pages later. Dude! If you bring up killing a guy—tell me now.

 

 

The non-spoilerish ending: ties it all together; keeps it real. Happiness is more than rainbows being spit out of prisms. There are “oodles and oddles of these smaller joys” to celebrate. Personal story time (I’ll keep it brief): I, too, was on the edge-of-your-life cliff. A bunch of things changed that, but one thing that echoes with Mr. Guard’s sentiments is what I found in HARDWIRING HAPPINESS. Stop. Pause. Be thankful for those small things.

 

 

With that, I’m thankful to Ascot Media and the author for reaching out and sending me a copy of this book to review. It was an interesting journey, at times funny, but in the end worthy.

I received a free copy from the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review!

 

A quick note: This is not really a guide to suicide...

 

As I finished this book yesterday, and April 12th is Mediocre Metaphor-day it's only natural I should pop in with a mediocre metaphor of my own. This is as much a guide to suicide as Silver Linings Playbook is a book on pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

 

It starts though with Wesley contemplating on what kind of suicide he wants to commit. (Don't take pills, he's quite sure about that). Nevertheless, no matter how boring his life is (thus the depression) he finds a lot to talk about, and it is almost as if he forgets that he was planning a suicide at all.

 

Wesley wants to take his life after he's twice divorced, twice 'non-custodial' parent and his dreams are shattered now he's working as a prison guard. All in all it reads like a diary. Of a not so sympathetic man. Who's depressed. Kind of.

 

I had some trouble when I started. It was quite different from what I expected (based on the first few pages I expected him at least to consider multiple methods of suicide) but after about 50 pages it no longer bothered me. Near the end, the story lost me again, and I believe the ending to be a real disappointment, unfortunately. I'm not sure what I really think about it, and although I enjoyed reading it, I don't think this is a book I'd recommend to everyone. Just to some.

To be or not to be, that is the question troubling Wesley Weimer. Part John Steinbeck, part Kevin Smith; The Poor Man’s Guide to Suicide is The Winter of Our Discontent for the quickly aging gen-X set. Humorous and richly realized, Andrew Armacost gives us an insightful glimpse into the sullen life of the divorced American male.
Full of acerbic wit, the writing is smooth and indicative of a writer at the top of his game. I look forward to what Armacost brings next. Pick up a copy of The Poor Man’s Guide to Suicide, an existential romp that dares to ask –is life always worth living?

-Steven Eggleton, author of [b:Dry Heat|20912181|Dry Heat|Steven Eggleton|https://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1393357780s/20912181.jpg|40277500]