If there's one things I've learned from newer adult fairy tale revisions it's this: Men are shit, and women hate each other (doesn't really give us many options, does it?) Men want sex, and they'll take it through violence or manipulation, or whatever works, and then dismiss you, because they're shallow. (Unless this is Teresa Medeiros, who writes actual romances, and the rapey moment are accidental. But still there, sighs.) This is, obviously, directly in contrast to what we learned from fairy tales as children, which I am sure is the point. And no more realistic, frankly.
In 1988, my dad took me to see Into the Woods for my eleventh birthday. That kicked off my immense passion for fairy tales. It opened my eyes to the world of the fairy tale revision, of the more realistic take; the difference was that that stuck closely to the original themes and events of the tales, instead of twisting them to make their own points. It's interesting, the newer stuff, and I am enjoying the book; authors such as Turgeon has very interesting ideas, and a depth, even if the characters seem rather shallow.
But I've also learned that, even though these girls don't need no men, they also, apparently, never get no happily ever afters, so I'm already bummed for the inevitable existential ending, sighs. I miss the darker themes when I read the YA, and I miss the romanticism when I read the adult fiction.
"And they say romance is dead. Or maybe they just wish it." -Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer