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review 2019-01-14 15:54
Book Review of Born in the Bed You Were Made: One Family's Journey from Cesarean to Home Birth by Brooklyn James
Born in the Bed You Were Made: One Family's Journey from Cesarean to Home Birth - Brooklyn James

What the hell happened?

 

Not exactly the question one might expect from a postpartum nurse, it echoed in my mind incessantly after birth. Induction, intervention, ultimately cesarean were nothing new to me…until I was the one atop an operating room table birthing my firstborn through an incision in my uterus.

 

Brooklyn James grapples with her medicalized birth as she undergoes several unexpected health issues—fallout from a medically unnecessary cesarean, secondary infertility, miscarriage. While navigating the work and pleasure of new motherhood, there is also much shock, anger, and disenchantment over birth’s betrayal for her to work through. James finally identifies the root of her struggle: she was not prepared for the birth she might have envisioned. So then begins her exploration of all that is and all that can be in birth. The process leads her to a long overdue conversation with her instinct and her body in an attempt to surrender to, trust in, and accept the inherent wisdom within.

 

Born in the Bed You Were Made is intimate and penetrating, candid and reflective. It reveals a deeper truth about how disconnected many modern women are from birth. Most of all, it is a celebration of self-discovery found in the most obscure yet obvious, most challenging yet gratifying, role as child bearer and mother.

 

Review 5*

 

This book is fantastic! I am not one who usually reads non-fiction or even memoirs, but having read previous fictional books written by this author, I knew that this book, being more personal, would be an emotional roller coaster ride. It didn't disappoint.

 

The author explores her emotions and thoughts over several events that shaped her ultimate decision of having a home birth. As I am not American, I don't know how the medical insurance companies work as such, but I believe that women have the right to decide how and where they would like to birth their babies. Unfortunately, most insurance companies are run by men. I don't mean to be sexist, but its the truth.

 

I am not a mother myself (and due to my advanced age, I may never have children of my own), but what struck me is how much this author's words touched something inside me that resounded within my inner being. She speaks of the instinctual, primitive brain (the part that handles breathing, and old emotional responses like fear, anger, love and knowing things, perhaps at a genetic level like birthing babies) and how she struggled through going against her instincts for a home birth in her first pregnancy because her insurance company didn't allow it. How this led to her having a Cesaerian that may or may not have been necessary, and later a miscarriage that taught her to trust her body and the genetic knowledge within.

 

The author also explores the role and history of a midwife. I found this aspect of the book interesting and full of words of wisdom, from the author herself, as well as those used by her midwife and the research books the author has used. I highlighted over 70 passages throughout this book that struck a chord within me. I don't usually highlight that many things in books, so that shows how much this book has affected me. Midwives have an important role for women. They act as a library of knowledge for expectant mothers. They also guide women through the hard work of labour and birthing children. They have a unique insight into the primitive brain through observation, and medical training to handle most problems that may arise. Unfortunately, these women have not had an easy ride throughout history. They were highly respected once, but they have lost their place due to vilification (being called witches, flakes and fakes in the not so distant past) and their knowledge depleted.

 

Hospitals and modern medicine have grown, time is short in today's society. Large pharmaceutical companies push for the use of drugs, hospitals don't have enough staff to give adequate one-on-one care for every expectant mother, and there are not enough beds for a natural birth. Hospitals have become factories - get them in and send them out as quickly as possible - and induced births, Cesareans (some necessary, but most unnecessary) have become the norm. This saddens not only me but the author too.

 

It has been an honour and a pleasure going on this author's journey. I wouldn't wish what happened to her happen to anyone else, but her journey is inspirational. I believe that women have the right to a support system like midwives along with obstetrics at a hospital, and the freedom to choose between a more economical home birth or an expensive hospital one. Modern medicine should work in concert with the more traditional methods to ensure a healthy birth experience for both the mother and child.

 

Brooklyn James has written a story that has touched me deeply. I love her writing style, and the flow was excellent. I am now looking forward to reading more of her other books as soon as I can.

 

I highly recommend this book, whether you are planning on having children, already have children and are considering having more, or have had children and they are starting their own families. The author references a few books that she used while pregnant, and these may help other expectant mothers too. - Lynn Worton

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review 2016-02-06 00:00
Birth Formations: What Multiple Home Births Teach about Living, Laboring and Mothering in the Now
Birth Formations: What Multiple Home Bir... Birth Formations: What Multiple Home Births Teach about Living, Laboring and Mothering in the Now - Gloria Ng [bc:Birth Formations: What Multiple Home Births Teach about Living, Laboring and Mothering in the Now|24855195|Birth Formations What Multiple Home Births Teach about Living, Laboring and Mothering in the Now|Gloria Ng|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1423263886s/24855195.jpg|44501923][b:Birth Formations: What Multiple Home Births Teach about Living, Laboring and Mothering in the Now|24855195|Birth Formations What Multiple Home Births Teach about Living, Laboring and Mothering in the Now|Gloria Ng|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1423263886s/24855195.jpg|44501923]
[a:Gloria Ng|6562436|Gloria Ng|https://d.gr-assets.com/authors/1387960693p2/6562436.jpg] $2.99

I was given a free copy in exchange for a fair and honest review of this independently published work.

This 74 page volume is the third book in healing arts practitioner, writer and mother of three children Gloria Ng’s “New Moms, New Families” series. As the author describes her book, it is “a nuts-and-bolts approach on how to actualize the New Age concept of living in the present moment before conception, during pregnancy, throughout delivery and in the midst of postpartum motherhood for the busy woman who desires to do and have it all.”

The author brings all three of her identities—healer, writer, mother—to every page of her book with passion, intelligence and eloquence. She is a clear and articulate writer, and the book is well edited and well-formatted. She begins by recounting some of her healing background before heading into the heart of her discussion, the labor, delivery and mothering experiences and ideas she wishes to share with other mothers-to-be. She ends with an open call to live a fulfilling life in each moment, integrating mothering with all the rest that life has to offer. She also generously shares her poetry and smaller essays with the reader through links embedded in her book and on her website.

I struggled a bit to review this book, not due to any jarring defect, but rather due to its unclassifiable nature. It is part memoir of her years birthing and mothering her three children, laced with insights into her struggles and joys in that role and her personal discoveries about her own cultural background, growth and history. It is a bit like a “The Mother’s Way,” a la Julia Cameron’s “The Artist’s Way,” a structured book of exercises for probing one’s life through meditations, writing exercises and daily practices in order to unleash the blocks that hold us back as writers or mothers. Every now and then it is a practical guide to the modern first world woman’s birth experience, with the hospital five minutes away, the midwife on speed-dial, the birthing tub fired up and ready, hubby well-trained on where to massage and when. Then there are the New Age incense-scented passages that glide in and out of the text.

My tension over how to classify the work eased somewhat when she used the word “experimental” to describe her writing. “Aha!” I thought. “So this is what ‘experimental’ writing is.”

The label does not help me much though, as I still grapple with how to evaluate the work. As mentioned above, it is well-written, lucid and intelligent. As a reader, and perhaps one who is overly fond of knowing what I am reading and what to expect, I found myself confused and caught off balance at times by the shift from memoir to breathing exercises to in-depth practical discussions of when is labor going badly enough that you must bail and head for the hospital. I believe Ms. Ng is capable of writing an excellent memoir, an excellent New Age guide to labor and birthing exercises and practices for body and soul, and a practical “what to do when you are expecting”-type guide. I’m just not entirely sure that all these things belong in the same volume.

One other concern is the possibly polarizing way Ms. Ng chose to open her book, spending several chapters on the New Age ideas and practices of rebirthing to resolve past traumas, the importance of affirmations and other New Age ideas. She boldly outlines core premises like the idea that we must resolve past birth trauma in order to live free of the shadows it casts on our lives. Some readers who do not accept that premise and others in the same vein may be turned away at the gates of her book before it really gets rolling. On the other hand, those who do hold to such ideas will feel very comfortable and press forward.

The author then in her own words negates the need to resolve past trauma through these practices by discovering that such practices are irrelevant to the mission at hand, that of actually birthing a baby. “In other words, I can choose how I deliver my baby no matter whether I needed to complete birth traumas or not…the act of birthing seemed to be completely independent of one’s psychosocial and emotional past. Everything started from now, as if the past didn’t matter at all. Only the future mattered.”

This I find to be an eminently sensible observation, and an excellent place to begin the book without running the risk of driving off the non-New Age adherents who might otherwise get a lot out of the rest of the book. This is of course the author’s choice, to be more or less inclusive and approachable versus quite clear in her viewpoint, but I found her choice to risk excluding the non-New Age reader interesting as she dwells somewhat in the memoir sections on her own struggles with cultural inclusion/exclusion.

Review: I believe the book will connect best with first time mothers-to-be who are open to New Age thinking and who wish to know vicariously as much as they can about the realities of laboring, birthing and new mothering. Ms. Ng is generous and open with her struggles and setbacks and inspirational and caring in how she shares the path forward that worked for her. The book shines brightest for me in the memoir-like sections where she shares these struggles and joys.

A star score is an irrelevant measure applied to a highly personal multi-faceted account of an individual’s felt experience. But a score I must give, and so I offer a blended score of 4, attempting to capture the experience of admiring the writing, the intelligence, the passion and the honesty (5); feeling confused at the kaleidoscope of genres vying for my attention (3); and finding much sensible and inspirational advice in the mix useful to new mothers (4).
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review 2014-02-21 13:10
[REVIEW] Cursed Blessings by Lynn Kelling
Cursed Blessings - Lynn Kelling

Cursed Blessings by Lynn Kelling My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Recommended for: Mpreg aficionados
Read from February 20 to 21, 2014 — I own a copy, read count: 1


Cursed Blessings has full frontal on-page male birth scene in vivid colors. So unlike many other mpreg books that usually safely employs an off-page birth scene (boo). To date I have only read one that has on-page birth scenes (yes in plural) and that was a quirky M/M scifi book called Acquainted with the Night by Tymber Dalton of which I adored to bits as it has everything my deviant little mind could ever ask for - (Check out my checklist here).

The difference between the two is that the birth scenes in Acquainted has an arousing aspect to it unlike this book plus it wasn't anything as intense or graphic as what that poor guy in this book has gone through. The birth here was very traumatic and somewhat gruesome. I really have to salute the protagonist for his balls of steel in his brave attempt to save a life and his remaining male pride knowing the macabre he has to face to achieving his goal. That tub scene is going to stay put in my mind and I shall replay it whenever I felt I need a bit of morbidity in my M/M books.

Nope. This IS NOT an erotica as I don't think what happened is meant to arouse someone unless that someone gets off on morbid stuff. I am not sure what it really is. What I know is that it contains bit of male romance and a shot of the paranormal forces. Whatever it is, I liked it. I liked the author's brave take on mpreg and it is really well written. The pregnancy and birth has a touch of realism in it although it IS an impossible feat for a male's body to perform unless he magically grew a womb, which isn't too far of a stretch here with the presence of paranormal elements in the story. I guess the author pulled it off successfully. I loved it and it left me wanting more.


I love this cover. So daring.


BOOK DETAILS:
Title:Cursed Blessings
Author: Lynn Kelling
Publication Date: December 19th, 2013
Publisher: Fantastic Fiction Publishing
Type: Short Story, 5,300 words (approximate)
Genre: Gay/Bi Mpreg Paranormal Fiction
Tags/Keywords: gay, bisexual, paranormal, mpreg, pregnancy, birthing, birth, home birth, self-mutilation, horror, gore, pain, trauma

Description:
Lev Baxter’s life has been spent searching for the truth of the world’s dark mysteries, and hiding from his own secrets. Burdened by love and lust for his married best friend, Shaw Montgomery, Lev escapes into the arms of countless, unnamed women in foreign lands, far from his true temptation. But Shaw seeks him out and Lev succumbs. The price he pays lies in a Romanian demon’s curse, and his guilt drives him into hiding. When the curse comes to fruition and Lev has no choice but to carve it from his body, no amount of running or hiding can save him from the truths which find him at last. (M/M)


* Reviewed on February 21st, 2014


*:--☆--:*:--☆:*:--☆--:*:--☆--:*:--☆--:*:--☆:*:--☆--:*:--☆--:*


View all my reviews

Source: www.goodreads.com/review/show/800161538?comment=93208534#comment_93208534
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