by John Everson

 

Let me start by saying that I'm not a fan of slasher fiction. I am, however, a big fan of haunted house stories and that's what led me to this story, innocently unaware of the author's other novels and prevalence of violence therein.

 

It's a great premise; a house located next to a cemetery is the local 'haunted house' that every small town has, only this one was owned by a witch who actually does still haunt the place. An entrepreneur gets a bright idea to convert the old house into a Halloween amusement and a collection of Horror enthusiast decorators and make-up people get involved creating themes based on popular Horror movies.

 

While it isn't what I would call great literature, I have to give credit to the author for creating the right atmosphere despite the fact that I haven't seen most of the Horror films referred to, though I did go look up the Goblin soundtrack to Suspiria on YouTube.

 

The story kept my attention all the way through and despite the main protagonist, Mike, being the poster boy for stupidity by way of being led my his genitals and too much beer, the variety and distinctiveness of characters was really well done. It wasn't until the last few chapters that things got messy and I did have to stop between chapters to decide if I could continue, but by then I needed to know what would happen and who might survive.

 

The descriptions were well done, though graphic, in a way that didn't feel gratuitous. Considering the level of violence it reached, that's a pretty good trick. People who like slasher Horror will love this. Personally I'm too squeamish to ever want to go there again.

I received a copy from Netgalley.

 

This one was immensely enjoyable. Even though the main character was a bit of a moron. It was modern day set but reminded me of 70s style horror films. It would have worked really well in that setting.

 

However, it was a bit of a silly story but still fun (in a dark and twisted sorted of what the fuck is going on and why am I reading this???way). Despite how ridiculous the plot got it was hard to tear your eyes away and made for a good page turner. I think I read this one in a few sittings.

 

The story starts with the main character Aidan sat in a bar drowning his sorrows over a stale marriage. He and his wife have just had their first child but they’re not getting along. Bemoaning his woes to a beautiful stranger he accidentally voices he wishes his wife was dead. The beautiful woman just happens to be their new neighbour Regina, who has just moved in the house next door.

 

Regina worms her way into the life and Aidan and his wife, even befriending the wife to a point, becoming comfortable enough with them to even babysit their child. Before long Aidan is utterly entranced by Regina and falls deeper and deeper under her beguiling spell. After tragedy strikes Regina is there for comfort and before long has started to open Aidan’s eyes to a world of sexual pleasure he never knew.

 

She introduces him to a secret sex club she’s part of and each “level” of the club things get darker, more twisted and more depraved. All coalescing around a certain black magic ritual on a certain date and a certain time requiring one big ass sacrifice Aidan has unwittingly become a part of.

 

It’s all quite moronic and the more stupid things Aidan does, he gets in too deep and finally realises he needs help but the reach of the secret club is goes higher than he could have ever imagined. He’s over his head and trying to figure things out before time runs out.

 

Despite the bizarreness and disturbing nature of the plot I kind of loved Regina as a character. She was wicked and unapologetic about it once she had Aidan in her claws. Aidan was likeable enough just kind of dim. It did get a bit bloody towards the end and more and more stupid as the novel went on.

 

However, regardless of the ridiculousness of the story as I said earlier once you get into it it’s impossible to put it down. There was a fairly amusing twist at the end of the last chapter. (Very reminiscent of a certain Stephen King book).

 

This is the third book I’ve read by this author and certainly one I will be continuing to read.

 

Thank you to Netgalley and Flame Tree Press for approving my request to view the title.

I received a copy from Netgalley.

 

This book was immensely fun in a twisted way. Haunted houses are my favourite type of horror movie, from the downright creepy to the laughably bad and gory to the what the fuck did I just watch? This book reads like a combination of all of the above.

 

Down on his luck Mike is in desperate need of a job, his buddy Perry has a plan to renovate a spooky old house into a Haunted House attraction in time for Halloween. The house is in the perfect creepy location next to a cemetery and there are boundless rumours of the house being haunted. Satanic rituals and murders on the property. Anyone who’s ever seen a horror movie or read a horror novel should know that to logical people building a haunted house in a place with this kind of history should scream bad idea, bad idea! Something is going go hideously wrong!

 

And of course, therein, lies the fun.

 

Mike starts building the house, a girl Katie, and her creepy friend appear and random intervals, Katie is pretty and younger than Mike. She and her friend start helping Mike with the renovations. Weird things start happening, odd noises, strange…things…turning up out of nowhere.  Meanwhile a host of other characters are introduced, the people who are getting involved in designing and making the haunted house.  The set designers, the costume makers and prop-makers, the actors, the makeup artist and her boyfriend. They get together and start working on their project.

 

And at the same time, two paranormal investigators are ranting about what a spectacularly bad idea this haunted house thing is. Restless spirits, a dark place etc. Their attempts at getting into the house fail miserably.  Katie has a secret. Halloween night arrives and with it, a blood bath! Not a lot happens until the opening night of the attraction, its short chapters, lots of characters. And the plot doesn’t require any kind of thinking or figuring out deep ulterior movies or anything.  It’s atmospheric and has some creepy moments. The characters have absolutely no depth to them. The secret behind the old murders, and weird things happening is just stupid. And there is a murderous rampage of epic proportions. But it doesn’t matter how ridiculous it all is.

 

It’s entertaining, and daft haunted house fun is the whole reason for reading it. Thoroughly enjoyable.

 

Thank you to Netgalley and Flame Tree Press for approving my request to view the title.

The idea of a haunted house attraction that is actually haunted drew my attention and with Halloween approaching, it seemed appropriate for the season. The cover also sets the stage for a creepy and perhaps sinister tale. In that vein, I suppose this one does deliver, but it took a rather meandering route to get there. The story tends to slog along for quite some time, actually about the first two-thirds or better. There are the occasional creepy scenes, some of which are quite chilling. However, there are a lot of characters introduced, and many of them receive much more page time than needed. Character depth is one thing, but the time taken with some felt like so much filler. Then we have our main character, Mike, the handyman hired to get the house ready for the season. Again, even for a main character, we're given way more than we need for the story. I get it, he's a carpenter and working on the house, but I don't need details of bracing ceilings or laying floors to get the picture. Aside from that, I found Mike to be rather single-minded and well, not very bright. The lust angle is one thing, but I just can't imagine anyone being so completely ignorant of things as this guy. The story does eventually ramp up and we get plenty of Halloween creepiness and gore, but it was just too little, too late to save this one for me. Tightened up and trimmed down, this story could be a real chill-fest in that B-movie kind of way, but as it stands, it just doesn't do the job. 

The House by the Cemetery John Everson Flame Tree Press 4* ***SPOILERS*** “Some things should remain buried” Synopsis: “Rumour has it that the abandoned house by the cemetery is haunted by the ghost of a witch. But rumours won’t stop carpenter Mike Kostner from rehabbing the place as a haunted house attraction. Soon he’ll learn that fresh wood and nails can’t keep decades of rumours down. There are noises in the walls, and fresh blood on the floor: secrets that would be better not to discover. And behind the rumours is a real ghost who will do whatever it takes to ensure the house reopens. She needs people to fill her house on Halloween. There’s a dark, horrible ritual to fulfil. Because while the witch may have been dead... she doesn’t intend to stay that way.” Thank you to Flame Tree Press for sending me an advance copy of The House by the Cemetery to review. Some things should most definitely remain buried. A murderous witch undoubtedly should. If there was ever a tale about a man being led by his, ahem, ‘other’ brain, this is it. Mike, a carpenter is tasked with making an already haunted house safe, to be opened as a haunted house attraction. Seems like a great idea doesn’t it? The end result, the cattle are taking themselves to the slaughter. I got many American Horror Story feels from this book; I could picture it in my mind, the different cast members of AHS and which parts they would be perfect for. It really felt like a story that Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk had come up with during the creative process for their next series. It’s a shame really that they have already done the haunted house theme (series 1). I can live in hope though right? Mike, divorced, living hand to mouth and pay check to pay check, is struggling to pay the rent. He reluctantly agrees to a job offer from his friend Perry, to work on reconstructing Bachelor’s Grove, an infamous haunted house complete with a creepy cemetery. It is to be opened in the run up to Halloween and a scary money making attraction. He meets a girl, Katie, falls for girl and does everything she asks no matter how twisted or bizarre it may seem. Love really is blind. That was my one fault with this book; Mike was a little too accepting of the situation. Even at the end, all the murders, the bloodshed, and he just seemed to be very blasé about it. He would complain, and say he didn’t agree et cetera et cetera, but Katie would smile sweetly and bat her witchy eyelashes and he would be back to being her good boy. That one thing was my only annoyance. I think we needed a man with a bit more fight in him, not an absolute pushover. Katie really didn’t have to work for it. Also, I have to admit, it was not a huge surprise to find out Katie was a ghost, or even the witch for that matter. It was sadly pretty obvious from early on in the book, although that didn’t curtail my enjoyment. I felt the haunted house within a haunted house concept worked really well, I loved all the different room ideas and the overall layout and decoration of the house really did sound great. I felt there was maybe a lack of any ‘actual’ haunting within the house when it was open to the public, unlike the subtle incidents, of entrails, noises and footsteps whilst Mike was working on it. That subtle approach was perfect for building atmosphere in the earlier stages of this novel. I would have appreciated a few unintended jump scares from resident ghostly inhabitants during the open house, which would have been a treat alongside the actors dishing out the scares. I think introducing some other spectral figures would have given the house more of a back story, showing us that many people died there over the years. While we were limited with ghostly visitors, despite being told numerous times of the vast paranormal presence within the house, we were not left totally disappointed. It wasn’t until the very last night of business that the ghouls came out to play. Those last few chapters were great, a very big finish, a huge kill count, it was an absolute blood bath that wouldn’t have been lost on an eighties slasher flick. The House by the Cemetery, released 18th October 2018, is available for pre-order from Amazon here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/House-Cemetery-Fiction-Without-Frontiers/dp/1787580016/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1537108789&sr=1-1&keywords=the+house+by+the+cemetery 4/5 – We all love a good haunted house story don’t we? Lesley-Ann (Housewife of Horror)