You can look at a person and instantly become attracted to them, but you cannot and I repeat you Can Not look at a person and instantly fall in love!

Because, before love, comes obsession, and before obsession, comes attraction.

For Example

SPOTTED: Hot ,gorgeous, blonde guy across the room.

Your eyes are glued to him.

When you notice him leaving your eyesight, you decide to follow him.

When you finally catch up to him, you witness him murder someone right before your eyes.

You scream!

You’re freaking out, your blood is pumping, your head is telling you to run, but for some reason your legs won't obey!

The hot, murderous, blonde guy is looking at you in shock, and shouting terms like mundane, demons, and shadowhunter.

And when you finally calm down and realize you not going to die right away,

you realize that you're intrigued.

You want to know more about this hottie and his world of legal killing.

And before you even realize that you're obsessed, you fall in love.

And then come marriage, and the baby carriage, but that’s not all, that’s not all!

Your vampire hubby didn't realize that the blanks he was shooting were the real deal, (and thank goodness not venom!)

So now you're stuck with some mutant hybrid child.

and let face it,

that child of yours is going to have a major complex for being the only one of its’ kind.

So it’s mission in life would be to create more hybrids, by using the blood of doppelgangers!

But that's neither here nor there.

The point is,

If an author wants to write a love story between two characters, they can't rush through the details on how they fell in love.

It’s the little details that get us readers invested into their story!

It’s your job as an author, to get us readers to fall in love, with your love story!

You caught our attention from the cover and the synopsis.

Now make us obsessed!

And only then, will we fall in love, with you and your writing.

Much Obsession,

Yours Truly,

The Book Obsessed Loser

I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. Each and every day as a kid I wanted to be something new. I tossed around a few ideas here and there like Princess Jasmine or President but those never really stuck because I wanted to be something badass! Like super spy or kick ass female assassin! I even flirted with the idea of timetraveler, but it was just so hard to pick between them!

Even now being 20yrs old I still can't choose.

The most logical thing to do is to combine them all!

and become the world’s most kickass Spy Assassin out there!

Going back in time and saving myself the torture and heartbreak of reading books that simply

weren't up to my standards.

Forming a HITLIST

and ridding myself a world of disappointment!

So lets play a little game of...

Can you Guess who’s on The Book Obsessed Loser’s HITLIST?

I can barely contain my excitement!

Much Love

Your Local Time Traveling SpyAssassin

The Book Obsessed Loser

I Spy with my little eye,

                       my first target!

Here’s a brief profile I conjured up about the target.

- The target is male

- Goes by “R” but has no name that he remembers

- Has no pulse

- and get this, no personality!

  Which make me wonder how the hell did everyone else love Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion!

The only logical theory that I can come with is that the book gives off some sort of mind control, and for some reason I am immune!

It had to have started with one person, just like all epidemics, and then that person passed it on to another person and then so on and so on.

When I first encountered “Warm Bodies”, it was already widespread. There was a movie set to premiere in a few months and there was youtube videos on how to get the “zombie R” look.

So I decided to see what all the “hoopla” was about and you know what

I liked it.

But for some reason everytime I put the book down I found it harder and harder to pick it back up.

It was like once I stopped reading the fog cleared and I was able to think clearly! And I realized the reason it was so hard to continue was because it was boring!

When I pick up a zombie book I expect there to be violence,

blood, guts, and flesh being ripped apart but all I got was zombies trying to remember how to shag and the Power of Love reversing the zombie effect.

To be honest, I’ve never been as disgusted by love in my entire life and I’ve read Flowers in the Attic(ok watched but you get my point!)

Warm Bodies, you have to go!

Your sad excuse for a love story and lack of zombie killing is an embarrassment to all zombies books!

Much Love

Your Time Traveling SpyAssassin

The Book Obsessed Loser

The next book that found its way on to my HITLIST and right under my scope..

would be considered sacrilegious to most and just plan crossing the line to others.

I’m not going to drag this out and have you guess who my next target is, i’m just going to say it.

The Shadowhunter’s Codex

by Cassandra Clare

I’m also not going to bullshit you and tell you this isn't personal…

because it is.

It’s VERY. FUCKING. PERSONAL!

You know, a lot of people have it out for Clare saying she’s milking the whole shadowhunter series for more money, but you know what.

 I don’t care!

She can make hundreds of shadowhunter books and as long as they’re good, i’m a happy camper.

But you know what Cassandra, this “Codex” book… was NO BUENO CHICHA!

We all or at least, I was very excited for this codex book and all the secret information that it would unveil, but then I come to realize that's it’s nothing but an illustrated book with recycle information that we already knew!... To say I was disappointed would be a huge understatement!

The only thing that felt truly original was the little scribbling side notes throughout the book from Jace, Clary, and Simon.

Everything else like the information on fairies, warlocks, and other Sups felt like it was Copied & Pasted from Wikipedia!

If we would have been told from the beginning that it was a collection of Fanart I wouldn’t have been disappointed because the artwork is truly amazing! But we weren't! and I didn't buy this book for the pretty pictures I brought it for the new information.

CC you have no one but yourself to blame for your codex’s ultimate demise.

And

Let this be your OFFICIAL WARNING, AUTHORS of 2014

Anybody can get it.

Favorite authors be damned!

Much Love

Your Time Traveling SpyAssassin

The Book Obsessed Loser

First and Foremost, I would like to say

HAPPY BELATED NEW YEAR!

Stepping into 2014 has me thinking a lot about my past actions, not just about 2013, but throughout my life.

I remember when I was in school, there was this one teacher who everyone hated

and for good reasons too, because she was a bitch….

and when I say bitch I mean STRAIGHT UP B.I.T.C.H.

Now this teacher's name was Ms. Ashburn, but we all called her AssBurn (because she was a major pain in the ass!) Sometimes we would call her that to her face and when questioned about it we blamed it on a speech impediment .

The only time Ms. Ashburn ever cracked a smile was when she was handing out detention slips, so we all pretty much deemed her as an pain in the ass bitch who needed to get laid!

I mean she obviously wasn't getting any, if her idea of fun was making all our lives a living hell!

Back then I used to feel a little bit guilty for muttering bitch under my breath whenever she swept past me on her broom, but  now looking back, I realised I was right.

Ms. Ashburn really was a bitch, and she really needed to get laid!

I know what you're thinking,"Wow Book Obsessed Loser, you’re a  childish, "Mean Girl" who needs to grow up…."

and you no what?

You’re right!

But if you  think Ms. Ashburn was a poor misunderstood ole’ lady… you’re wrong!

and

I bet you’re wondering how I know this.

I know this because i'm in the same exact position she was in.

Except replace bratty ass students with “meh” books, and Ms. Ashburn’s need for mind blowing sex, with my need of a mind blowing book!

And for those of you that don't know what “meh” means, it basically something (and in my case a book) that is neither good nor bad.

And when you spend practically a whole year reading "meh" books,  you start to get a little annoyed (and in my case just a little bitchy!)

And you know what 2014?

your predecessor wore me out

So,

If you don’t give me what I need...

I’m going to start giving out 1 stars and ranting reviews, like free clinics hands out condoms!

Much love

   &

Completely Yours

The Book Obsessed Loser