I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. Each and every day as a kid I wanted to be something new. I tossed around a few ideas here and there like Princess Jasmine or President but those never really stuck because I wanted to be something badass! Like super spy or kick ass female assassin! I even flirted with the idea of timetraveler, but it was just so hard to pick between them!

Even now being 20yrs old I still can't choose.

The most logical thing to do is to combine them all!

and become the world’s most kickass Spy Assassin out there!

Going back in time and saving myself the torture and heartbreak of reading books that simply

weren't up to my standards.

Forming a HITLIST

and ridding myself a world of disappointment!

So lets play a little game of...

Can you Guess who’s on The Book Obsessed Loser’s HITLIST?

I can barely contain my excitement!

Much Love

Your Local Time Traveling SpyAssassin

The Book Obsessed Loser

I Spy with my little eye,

                       my first target!

Here’s a brief profile I conjured up about the target.

- The target is male

- Goes by “R” but has no name that he remembers

- Has no pulse

- and get this, no personality!

  Which make me wonder how the hell did everyone else love Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion!

The only logical theory that I can come with is that the book gives off some sort of mind control, and for some reason I am immune!

It had to have started with one person, just like all epidemics, and then that person passed it on to another person and then so on and so on.

When I first encountered “Warm Bodies”, it was already widespread. There was a movie set to premiere in a few months and there was youtube videos on how to get the “zombie R” look.

So I decided to see what all the “hoopla” was about and you know what

I liked it.

But for some reason everytime I put the book down I found it harder and harder to pick it back up.

It was like once I stopped reading the fog cleared and I was able to think clearly! And I realized the reason it was so hard to continue was because it was boring!

When I pick up a zombie book I expect there to be violence,

blood, guts, and flesh being ripped apart but all I got was zombies trying to remember how to shag and the Power of Love reversing the zombie effect.

To be honest, I’ve never been as disgusted by love in my entire life and I’ve read Flowers in the Attic(ok watched but you get my point!)

Warm Bodies, you have to go!

Your sad excuse for a love story and lack of zombie killing is an embarrassment to all zombies books!

Much Love

Your Time Traveling SpyAssassin

The Book Obsessed Loser

The next book that found its way on to my HITLIST and right under my scope..

would be considered sacrilegious to most and just plan crossing the line to others.

I’m not going to drag this out and have you guess who my next target is, i’m just going to say it.

The Shadowhunter’s Codex

by Cassandra Clare

I’m also not going to bullshit you and tell you this isn't personal…

because it is.

It’s VERY. FUCKING. PERSONAL!

You know, a lot of people have it out for Clare saying she’s milking the whole shadowhunter series for more money, but you know what.

 I don’t care!

She can make hundreds of shadowhunter books and as long as they’re good, i’m a happy camper.

But you know what Cassandra, this “Codex” book… was NO BUENO CHICHA!

We all or at least, I was very excited for this codex book and all the secret information that it would unveil, but then I come to realize that's it’s nothing but an illustrated book with recycle information that we already knew!... To say I was disappointed would be a huge understatement!

The only thing that felt truly original was the little scribbling side notes throughout the book from Jace, Clary, and Simon.

Everything else like the information on fairies, warlocks, and other Sups felt like it was Copied & Pasted from Wikipedia!

If we would have been told from the beginning that it was a collection of Fanart I wouldn’t have been disappointed because the artwork is truly amazing! But we weren't! and I didn't buy this book for the pretty pictures I brought it for the new information.

CC you have no one but yourself to blame for your codex’s ultimate demise.

And

Let this be your OFFICIAL WARNING, AUTHORS of 2014

Anybody can get it.

Favorite authors be damned!

Much Love

Your Time Traveling SpyAssassin

The Book Obsessed Loser