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text 2017-09-15 20:20
Reading progress update: I've read 70%.
Lords and Ladies - Terry Pratchett

Schroedinger's Greebo:

Greebo had spent an irritating two minutes in that box. Technically, a cat locked in a box may be alive or it may be dead. You never know until you look. In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat could be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.

Shawn dived sideways as Greebo went off like a Claymore mine.

‘Don’t worry about him,’ said Magrat dreamily, as the elf flailed at the maddened cat. ‘He’s just a big softy.’




Sorry, I just can't stop quoting this book.

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text 2017-09-15 20:13
Reading progress update: I've read 68%.
Lords and Ladies - Terry Pratchett

The kings of Lancre had never thrown anything away. At least, they’d never thrown anything away if it was possible to kill someone with it.

There was armour for men. There was armour for horses. There was armour for fighting dogs. There was even armour for ravens, although King Gurnt the Stupid’s plan for an aerial attack force had never really got off the ground.



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text 2017-09-07 23:43
Monstrous Regiment (Discworld, #31) - Terry Pratchett

‘You are holding up well, Mal,’ said Polly.

‘Maybe those acorns did the trick? You haven’t mentioned coffee at all—’

Maladict stopped, and turned slowly. To Polly’s horror, his face was suddenly shiny with sweat.

‘You had to bring it up, didn’t you?’ he said hoarsely. ‘Oh, please, no! I was holding on so tight! I was doing so well!’

He fell forward, but managed to get on to his hands and knees. Then he raised his head, and his eyes were glowing red.

‘Fetch . . . Igorina,’ he muttered, gasping. ‘I know she’s ready for this . . .’ . . . whopwhopwhop . . .

Wazzer was praying furiously. Maladict tried to stand up again, fell back on to his knees, and raised his arms imploringly to the sky.

‘Get out of here while you can,’ he mumbled, as his teeth visibly lengthened. ‘I’ll—’

There was a shadow, a sense of movement, and the vampire slumped forward, stunned by an eight-ounce sack of coffee beans that had dropped out of a clear sky.

Polly arrived at the farmhouse carrying Maladict on her shoulder. She made him as comfortable as possible on some ancient straw, and the squad consulted.

‘Do you think we ought to try to take the sack out of his mouth?’ said Shufti nervously.

‘I tried, but he fights,’ said Polly.

‘But he’s unconscious!’

‘He still won’t let go of it! He’s sucking it. I’d swear he was out cold, but he just sort of reached out and grabbed it and bit! It dropped out of a clear sky!’

I sympathise with Maladict. If it weren't for coffee, many horrible things would happen.

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text 2017-08-08 18:17
The Moonstone - Wilkie Collins

"Study your wife closely, for the next four-and-twenty hours. If your good lady doesn’t exhibit something in the shape of a contradiction in that time, Heaven help you!—you have married a monster."


Oh, Mr. Collins!


Seriously, this book makes me smile a lot. :D

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text 2017-08-05 13:43
Corvus: A Life With Birds - Esther Woolfson

Chicken does not like to be ignored. She’ll pull insistently at the legs of my jeans as I cook or iron. She’ll try to knock the book from my hand if I don’t pay her attention, pecking at my sleeve or elbow to invite me to talk. Often she’ll burst, like the alien in Alien, through my newspaper, leaping on to my knee as I sit trying peaceably to read.

Esther Woolfson - Corvus: A Life With Birds 



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