Another conversation that started in the euphemisms post. There seems to be a lot of things authors write into sex scenes that annoy the shit out of us. Whether it is irritating or just plain wrong. For instance:

There is no way that having someone hit your cervix is super hot and sexy. More like uncomfortable and painful.

The hymen is not halfway up the vagina.

The average vagina is six to eight inches long.

That if the heroine is going on about how damn big he is and he sticks two fingers in and that is "stretching her wide" then his big girthy penis should probably do more when it goes in.

Shoving a big girthy penis into a virgin, unprepared anus fucking hurts. AND YOU NEED LUBE.

Ugh...all of these make me angry. So angry in fact that it's surprising that I read the genre anymore!

The virgins -- anally or vaginally, who turn into porn stars and have 20 orgasms the first time? RIDICULOUS!!!!

Only a fraction of women who have been having sex for some time have orgasms during intercourse every time...much less a virgin! I call BS! My first time, I literally thought to myself, "I waited this long (I was old compared to my friends) to do THIS?! Seriously" And my experience is not unique...it takes awhile to figure out what works with a partner and even by yourself, for that matter for MOST women. Some are lucky, yes but that is not the norm. Imagine being a young woman reading these books and thinking this is what sex is supposed to be and being SOOOOO disappointed when it's nothing close IRL.

I love books with virgins. I really do. I don't mind that they have orgasms the first time either, however unlikely. I don't even mind when the hero can feel himself going through the hymen when the heroine hasn't told him (please, I love that IDGAF). But there are things that do mess it up. Like the hymen halfway thing. Or they do it the first time and then like five more times throughout the night. Or s/he's utterly perfect at it immediately. Like virgin sexual sixth sense.

Reply to post #3 (show post):
I agree! What you mention is what bothers me mostly. When the scene is written more realistically even with the unlikely orgasm, I'm fine with virgins. But if it happens five times then they go at it again the very next morning like she wouldn't be sore...no bueno. AND he supposedly has a giant penis to boot.

And virgin anal scenes usually make me say...


90% of the time. It take even more prep and lubrication than virgin vaginal sex. If the fantasy is to be pounded in the arse painfully for some, then no judgement. Just not my cuppa to read.

Reply to post #4 (show post):
Oh yeah, I forgot about them going at it the next morning after they pounded out like three to five times the night before and there's no soreness. And yes, he always has a giant penis and still nothing.

You're right, most anal scenes are the worst if the person hasn't done it before. They stick in one or two lubed fingers for five seconds and that's prep. If they even do that much. Nothing is worse than the ones that don't even use lube. My ass clenches just reading any of it.

Reply to post #5 (show post):
I'd rather have my womb pounded than my arse! LOL!!

Reply to post #6 (show post):
And that made me think of DP with an unprepared ass and a cervix pounding penis at the same time. Clenching all over. D=

Reply to post #7 (show post):
Ooooohhh don't get me started on DP!! Two pringle-sized penises stuffed inside ANYONE...even someone who is no virgin is just TOO MUCH!!! And I've read scenes where there is NO lube at all. The heroine is usually so turned on that she's dripping with her arousal/creme/juice (which leads me to another bad euphemism!), etc and all is good. Uh, NO!!

Yeah, I hate when it's just her arousal lining up the back and nothing else.

Reply to post #9 (show post):
The hero takes some from the front with his fingers and lubes her back door up. YEAH, RIIIIIIIGHT!!!

Right, like, do you not have experience with vaginal secretions? It dries up. You're going to be rubbing raw pretty quickly.

Reply to post #11 (show post):
I used to get worked up over authors blatant misuse and misrepresentation but I have to remind myself that it's fiction. But sometimes, an authors goes too far and my hackles are raised.

Reply to post #12 (show post):
Yeah, there's plenty I can forgive with fiction (like the virgin stuff I mentioned above) but sometimes it's just too stupid to overlook or forgive.

Oh. My. God. And what do I happen to read right now?

"'Oh, fuck me, please, please, Eric, I'm dying here,' she begged. Eric looked up at Zeke and nodded. Zeke let his fingers drift down to tap at her clit. She bucked then froze. Zeke knew Eric had slid a finger into her ass, using her own juices to ease the way."

Right? So that was literally all the lubing and prep that happened. One just put on a condom and shoved in her virgin ass. NO LUBE OR PREP OMFG. They're clearly about to DP by the way.

It's like this discussion cursed me. This is my punishment. Damn novella.

Reply to post #14 (show post):
I'm sorry!