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review 2015-06-14 00:00
The Gray Wolf Throne
The Gray Wolf Throne - Cinda Williams Chima

The Seven Realms series continues in this third installment, however this has to be my least favourite so far. A major plot point was revealed in the blurb and it really took away from the reading experience and the moment it happened. It is true that you could see it was going to happen anyway, but I still would have preferred to go in blind. I recommend that you avoid reading the blurb when going into this one. All you need to know is that the story picks up right where The Exiled Queen left off. Raisa is on the run, Han is searching for her, and there are enemies everywhere.


The dual point of view is still in effect here, but this book focuses more on Raisa than Han, an aspect I thought I would enjoy as I greatly prefer her character. But it turned out Han’s struggles were much more interesting than Raisa’s so I was left unsatisfied. The Gray Wolf Throne is very character driven, even more so than The Exiled Queen.


It was sad to see the end of Oden’s Ford, as I really enjoyed the setting, and there wasn’t really any firm setting here. They moved around a lot and unlike in The Demon King, it didn’t work.


The first half of the novel was the best. It was pretty intense, with both Han and Raisa on the same path, yet separated. It was action packed, and I felt it had a good balance with the slower scenes. The plot was engaging and constantly moving forward (although pretty slowly it seemed) yet it didn’t have any strong build up or climax. This definitely was more of a bridge book to set up for the sequel. While I enjoyed the read, it was disappointing. There are still some fantastic moments, and if you have liked the first two books then you should definitely pick this one up. I’m hoping that this is all build up to an explosive finale! And if you haven’t tried this series yet, go ahead and give The Demon King a chance. It’s an excellent, refreshing young adult fantasy!

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review 2015-05-24 00:00
Paper Towns
Paper Towns - John Green

Really, once you've read one John Green book, you've read them all. Paper Towns is a somewhat less tragic version of Looking For Alaska. It was still a good book, even a great book. It made me laugh and it made me go "Hmmmm" and it made me sad. But, when I finished it I realized that ultimately I didn't get much out of it. The characters weren't memorable the story wasn't memorable the setting was very unmemorable. Paper Towns and Paper Stories. The one thing I really took away was an intense desire to take a spontaneous road trip.

Overall, I did enjoy the reading experience, and the book as a whole. (Especially the road trip bit.) I'm definitely interested in seeing how it will be adapted into a movie.

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review 2015-02-14 06:25
Thale Movie Review

I did it! I found a movie that's better than its Netflix rating. Fuck yeah! *high five*


Currently, Thale enjoys a 2.5 star rating on Netflix. I can only attribute this rating to disappointed men who clicked on this movie thinking they were going to get 78 minutes of naked chicks with tails, or a gore-fest. Because any horror fan with half a brain in their head would think this movie was at least "okay". I know, shining fucking endorsement, right? Well, lemme put it this way. If I had twelve bucks, a buddy that was good at computer graphics, and a camcorder, this is the film I'd make. Shit, I'm still not selling this. Okay, lemme go a different route.


Thale tries really fucking hard to be different. The film attempts what amounts to a boat doing a barrel roll. It wasn't made to perform such feats. The audience it targets is going to hate it. Because it's not a horror film. It has its horrific elements, but it's more bizarre and... well... touching. Yeah, that's a good way of explaining this moving. Bizarre and touching, like Pee-Wee Herman in an adult movie theater. With that in mind, I really want you to watch this movie. I want to know what you think about it. So, give it a gander, and come find me. We'll talk. Over coffee. Tea. Alcoholic beverage. I don't give a floop!


Our two main characters (Leo and Elvis) are oddly endearing. Especially Leo, who's calmer than a sloth on quaaludes during some very weird goings-on. These two guys play so well off one another that their relationship kinda makes this flick. If the movie didn't have these dudes and their friendship, I probably would have stopped watching after the first ten minutes. Why? Well, because this film seems to have been shot using a device only one step above a rutabaga. Whoever stole this camera from their Aunt Marge's attic needs to be fed laxatives and Taco Bell, in equal amounts, then locked in a bouncy castle overnight.


Stop filming on shit camera equipment. It's 2015, for Stanley Kubrick's sake. My goddamn Straight Talk phone records better video than this.


Okay. Where was I? Right, the two guys, Leo and Elvis. The acting throughout Thale is great. Subtle and on point. You'll not find any over-the-top horror-film performances here. I dig that shit. 


The horror element is barely there, but certain scenes might turn a stomach or three. There's one unique scene where a certain object is pushed through someone and I just had to smile. I'd not seen that before. Coolio. 


There is some what-the-fuckery afoot, so be forewarned. You will ask questions like, "If she was under there, how the fuck did she know it was okay to come out of hiding?" and "Cell phones don't give a busy signal when you try to call them and no one answers!" and "How did he not see them sitting right across from him?", but mostly you will have a good time because you haven't seen the stuff in this movie a bajillion times over.


In summation: If you're looking for different, different this is. Thale is only 78 minutes long, so it's not a huge time commitment. The acting is great and the story isn't shit. Take a break from your Michael Bay and your Fifty Shades of Grey and watch this odd little number. 


Final Judgment: Not as good as pizza and sex, but better than a fart in the eye.

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