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text 2022-04-05 03:50
6 Tips to Make a Relationship with an Age Gap Work

 

Many people don’t like the idea of dating a partner who is 10+ years younger/older than them. But sometimes attraction just happens and a relationship is built upon a large age gap. There are certainly ways to make it work, according to many relationship coaches. Let’s find out some of them: 

  • Accepting differences – everyone is different and unique – is what makes humans so fascinating. Being diverse and knowing that there is no one else out there like you are important. But it is also important to not get so caught up in differences because that can cause problems in relationships. This is especially the case in a relationship where partners have a big age gap. You should not be focused on changing anyone, but rather to bridge your differences and come closer together. 

  • Agree to disagree – perhaps one of the most important things partners with big age differences should learn is to agree to disagree. Because they are of different generations, their views on a lot of aspects of life will be different. It is important to not focus on those disagreements, but instead to move forward despite them. Partners should openly discuss their opinions and be more open-minded toward their views. There is no reason not to be able to negotiate and accept the differences with a level of appreciation of each other’s views. 

  • Crack up with a sense of humour – when you are in a relationship with a big age gap, you should always retain a certain sense of humour. Now and then someone you know will be asking whether the person you are with is your mom/dad. If you don’t assume a position of just brushing it off, you will question yourself. If you are in a good relationship and you know it, you should use it to strengthen your love even further. 

  • Assurance to one another is important – in a relationship with a big age gap, both partners can feel insecure sometimes. One partner can worry that the other will lean towards something more within their age group, and this goes both ways. Again, partners should focus on what brings them together and why they chose each other in the first place. Reassuring each other is what glues the relationship together. 

  • You will be at different places in life at times – with a big age difference and a long-term relationship, both of you will be at different places in your life. For example, when one is already thinking about retirement, the other’s career could just have taken off. This leads to different lifestyles and you both need to accept it. You have to be understanding toward one another, as these transitions happen. You need to be ready for them and communicate clearly where each of you stands on the matter. 

  • Embrace the advantages of the age gap – who is to say that there are only negatives to work around in a relationship with a big age gap? Having a mature partner means you will never have to wonder about whether he is ready to commit or just leading you on. Besides, having a person with more life experience by your side is always a big plus. He can help you out of a difficult spot in life, or just provide what people of younger age cannot. 

Couples with a big age gap can make things work nicely for them. They just need to remember to communicate with openness and embrace their differences, to allow their connection to thrive. 

© Kate Mansfield Dating Coach

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text 2022-02-01 05:22
4 Tell-tale Signs you are Texting Way Too Much

 

Text messages are without a doubt a fantastic tool to keep in touch with people you are dating. You can communicate with ease with the press of a button, get to know each other, and share interesting conversations. But there is such a thing as texting too much and it is something you have to be aware of. 

If you ever allow your texting to get out of hand, it has the potential to do you a lot of harm. For starters, it will change the way the other person thinks about you in a bad way. Instead of being interesting, they will view your texting as bothersome and can begin to shy away from this sort of contact. Following are a few of the red flags that you might be texting too much: 

  • There is an imbalance in your text conversations
    If you take an objective look at your conversations and notice that pretty much every message comes from you, that is a clear sign you are texting too much. Have a look at your portion of the text. If it is more than what the other side has to say, then maybe they are much less interested in such exchange. Maybe they are busy, maybe they are bored, or maybe they just cannot or do not want to keep up. Whatever the case may be, this is a clear sign that you are texting more than is warranted and that you should tone it down. The best conversations over text happen when both sides have an equal amount to share. 

  • You have come to expect constant access to other people
    If you are constantly on your phone and you can reply to their text messages almost instantly, you might think it is only normal for them to do the same. However, you need to understand people have their own lives and things to take care of apart from texting back. You should give them enough leeway and check your expectations. If you are feeling impatient when the other person doesn’t reply within a few minutes but instead takes a few hours, you know it is a good idea to put the phone down. The very fact that you are on it all the time might be giving you a wrong idea about the etiquette of texting, which you could be breaking. 

  • You don’t let conversations fade naturally
    Allowing conversations to die off naturally is a normal part of a text conversation. If, however, you give in to temptation and try to keep it going for as long as possible, you might be giving the other person a wrong impression. At some point in the conversation, it becomes clear that neither side has anything substantial to add. That is when it needs to fade away and continue another day. Don’t continue to text them when that moment comes. 

  • You don’t text to connect, but because of boredom
    Many people check their social media or watch videos on YouTube when they are bored. And others are into texting. And while it can be healthy to pursue such a desire for human connection, you best not be doing it just because you are bored and want to kill some time. A genuine text conversation is one that both sides exchange information they want to hear about, not one that they use as a form of entertainment when they are bored. Carefully assess when you are texting and don’t do it out of boredom. 

Knowing when you are texting too much can help you on the way of finding more meaningful communication. Be on the lookout for these warning signs that you are texting too much and correct your ways. 

© Kate Mansfield Dating Coach

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text 2021-12-31 09:04
The Benefits Of Free Online Dating Sites Compared To Paid Sites

 

Benefits of Free Online Dating Sites

 

It's pretty easy to throw away free online dating sites as they actually let anyone in. But does that mean they are not good at all? Almost all dating sites, paid or not, have something amazing. While the interface can be downright terrible, people could really make up for it. Let's not even talk about how you don't have to pay for the website! Regardless, there is a multitude of benefits to choosing a free ไซด์ไลน์ dating site over one that you have to pay for, and there's a reason so many people choose them out of all the premium websites out there.

 

No commitments, no approval process

 

Not many people want to commit to a website, even if they say they play matchmaker. It's just not the most natural thing to do, and without the assurance that you will find someone there, it can be considered a bit absurd. On top of that, people also don't want to be judged and rated for how good they are as people. While this isn't really something we think they do, there have been quite a few people who have stayed away from them for that very reason. Again, that's not really the natural way of things, as some people believe in the more organic way of meeting someone. Also, the fact that you may be denied entry to a dating website is a bit unsettling for some.

 

Making decisions

 

Free online dating sites are also numerous and can be as specific as you would like them to be. If you Google "free online dating" right now, you will get a lot of results. There are thousands of different dating sites that you don't have to pay a penny for, and while you may not find a love connection on most of them, you should be able to get a date of some kind. This is especially the case if you live near a large city. These free dating sites can provide enough hope for almost anyone looking for love, and that is simply by using the law of averages.

 

While you may have to search a lot of matches on your own when using a free online dating site, there are still many benefits to choosing them over a premium website.

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text 2021-11-23 03:59
Why are you Pushing People Away and How to Stop?

 

Have you ever experienced a situation where you think you are growing closer to your partner, before suddenly acting in what seems calculated ways to push them away? There is a greater emotional and physical distance between you, less interest in each other’s needs, tense communication and sometimes even unkind words. 

There is a lot of hurt and confusion that can come in this sort of relationship dynamic, especially when one side deems it to be progressing nicely. If you feel like you are shutting down when a relationship builds up to a more serious phase, you should know that change is possible. However, it is important to consider the reasons why it happens before anything else: 

  • Fear of intimacy – pushing people away is one of the ways of avoiding intimacy. This is a common mechanism of defence for people who have the fear of being hurt in a relationship. If you have a past relationship that hurt you, the consequences can manifest in many ways, among which worries about repeat rejection in the same manner. Your subconscious might hide such fears, even if you think you have healed. They will come over in the form of an instinct to protect yourself from rejection. And even if the actions happen on a more unconscious level, the result is the same – you drive your partner away, for the sake of self-preservation and avoiding intimacy. 

  • Attachment problems – attachment style of avoidance can also play a role in pushing people away. This theory has to do with one’s early years of life. If your primary caregiver/parent was not emotionally close during your childhood, you may acquire an avoidant attachment style. This is characterized by suppressed needs for intimacy and closeness, as you have learned to be self-sufficient from a young age. You cannot stand when a relationship gets too intense. 

  • Low self-confidence and self-esteem – people who are not confident in themselves and struggle with low self-esteem are also prone to pushing others away. Perhaps you think that you will let them down, or that they don’t like you that much, or that they will leave you for someone better later on. You think yourself not good enough for them and so you push them away instead of working on a relationship. Many people who have bigger issues with self-confidence think that they don’t even deserve a healthy relationship, even though that is never true. 

  • Trust issues – if you have been betrayed in a previous relationship, it is common that you will have trust issues. If someone cheated on you, you may have a hard time repairing your broken trust. This can cause a lot of bumps down the road of any relationship, in which partners don’t invest extra efforts to convince each other of their true feelings and intentions. 

So how do you change all that and let people in your life? 

  • Start slow – if you wish to build a close relationship, you should never rush things. Evaluate the real issues stopping you from achieving that and work on them with your partner. 

  • Talk about it all – good communication is the most important pillar of any relationship. And while it may seem scary discussing such problems with your partner, it is the only way to make progress with your relationship with them. 

  • It is a balancing act – if you are too eager to prevent the impulse of pushing others away, you could end up in the other extreme of becoming too needy and not respecting your partner’s boundaries. You have to strive for balance and interdependence – to support each other, without depending on them entirely. 

© Kate Mansfield Dating Coach

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text 2021-09-23 03:21
What is the Difference Between Dating and Seeing Someone?

 

 

Many people grow confused over the state of their relationships nowadays. And it is not necessarily anything to do with their partner, but rather with the relationship itself and its nature. It is important to be able to understand the level of standards that the other holds the relationship to, or else there is a lot of confusion and stress. And while someone may think that seeing someone is equal to being in a relationship with them, there are many differences between them, which determine a lot about what the two people are having together. In this guide, we will go over the major aspects of the two and see where the differences lie. 

What is dating? 

Dating is the activity that a couple undertake together, during which they discuss the future of their relationship. This is usually the case after both partners have known each other for some time and have decided to work on their relationship more. And when both partners enjoy the company of the other and feel comfortable with them, they will enter the dating stage. That is when they will invest time and effort to learn more about the other and work on moving their relationship forward to living together, potentially marriage and having children. To that end, dating can also be seen as a trial period, which has the goal of testing the relationship that two people have. If there are any issues to one or both sides, they will become evident and the relationship may be terminated. 

What is seeing someone? 

In essence, seeing someone can be defined as a very early stage of a relationship, where partners are making their first steps towards one another. The relationship is not yet defined, as both partners have met recently and they are going out on dates to learn more about each other. Sometimes, one partner may have romantic intentions, but the other one lacking such. In this case, dating is very casual, without building any serious intention. One thing that defines this stage is the lack of commitment. Both partners may wish to invest some time to see each other, but they are not yet undertaking the more serious conversation that encompasses a relationship. The meetings between both partners may be inconsistent. But if things pick up, seeing each other can quickly grow into a relationship. 

Major differences between seeing each other and being in a relationship

  • The stage of the relationship – when two people are seeing each other, they are in a very early stage of a relationship. When they are dating, it is essentially the penultimate step to something more. 

  • The intensity of the relationship – seeing each other lacks intensity, whereas dating is much more intense. 

  • Topics of discussion – seeing someone means talking about casual topics and a lot of small talks. Later on, dating grows into more serious topics and getting to know each other via communication.

  • Knowing each other – two people are considered to be dating when they have invested time in getting to know each other well. Seeing someone can happen very early after being introduced to them, without knowing much about them. 

  • The levels of intimacy – seeing someone is not characterized by extreme intimacy, whereas in dating, both partners seek and work on intimacy together. 

Knowing the difference between dating and seeing someone is important for everyone looking to invest time and effort into a partner. It means knowing which part of the relationship they are in so that they can set the right expectations. 

© Kate Mansfield Dating Coach

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