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quote 2017-06-21 12:36
Zawsze uważałam, że fajnie jest być katoliczką: pójść do spowiedzi, zrzucić ciężar z serca i zaczekać, aż ksiądz ci przebaczy, odpuści wszystkie grzechy, oczyści konto.
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quote 2017-06-21 12:14

Ludzie, z którymi coś nas kiedyś łączyło, nie pozwalają nam odejść i żebyśmy nie wiem, jak bardzo próbowali, nie wyplączemy się z tego, nie uwolnimy.Może po pewnym czasie przestajemy po prostu próbować.
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review 2017-06-18 06:23
Into the Water
Into The Water - Paula Hawkins

Into the Water is a book about the ways women can be blamed for a man's actions whether it be the man himself casting the blame or other people. It's about how men are excused for their wrongdoings because they are good men while women are persecuted for their wrongdoings. It's a book about troublesome women.


Beckford is not a suicide spot. Beckford is a place to get rid of troublesome women.


Nel's body is found in the Drowning Pool, a spot where a number of women's bodies have been found over the centuries. Nel was in the process of writing a book about these women, and it appears that she chose to end her life as they had. She left behind a 15-year-old daughter, Lena, whose best friend, Katie, drowned herself in the same place a few months earlier and an estranged sister, Jules, who became Lena's guardian upon Nel's death. Jules hadn't spoken to her sister in years, but is now forced to return to her old home for her niece, bringing back old memories as she tries to make sense of her sister's death.


This book has a lot of points of view to sort out which made keeping everyone straight very difficult at the start of the book. I eventually got everyone down, but I had to keep reminding myself of who was who for a while there. This made for a slow start to the book, but things did pick up after a bit and then I sped through the book.


Somewhere in the middle of the book, I noted that there was a lot of women being blamed for everything. Things like this can make me wary since I'm used to a number of books having all women, except the heroine, depicted as evil, but with the earlier "troublesome women" quote, I was hopeful that this was completely intentional, and I was not disappointed. A later exchange between Lena and Jules confirmed it for me.


Lena’s voice grew cold. “I don’t understand you. I don’t understand people like you, who always choose to blame the woman. If there’s two people doing something wrong and one of them’s a girl, it’s got to be her fault, right?”


“No, Lena, it’s not like that, it isn’t—“


“Yes, it is. It’s, like, when someone has an affair, why does the wife always hate the other woman? Why doesn’t she hate her husband? He’s the one who’s betrayed her, he’s the one who swore to love her and keep her and whatever forever and ever. Why isn’t he the one who gets shoved off a fucking cliff?”


And women getting all the blame is what we see throughout the book. One of the first girls drowned a few centuries ago was a 14-year-old girl who was accused of seducing a 34-year-old man and leading the poor, innocent man astray. Nel was blamed for Katie's suicide.

A male teacher blames Katie (his 15-year-old student) for seducing him. Upon learning about the teacher, Katie's mom blames Lena for Katie's suicide because she didn't tell about the teacher even though her son was also aware of it and didn't tell. Jules is blamed for her own rape by her rapist who denies it was rape because all the girls wanted him and he was doing her a favor. A woman blames Nel for her own death after her father-in-law confesses to murdering her in cold blood because Nel was threatening the family with her questions about the death of her father-in-law's wife.

(spoiler show)


And when some of the women try to point out that a man should be held accountable for what he's done wrong, they are met with resistance from other women.


“He loved her,” Lena said. “Doesn’t that make him a good person, that he tried to find out what happened to her?”


“But, Lena, don’t you see…?”


“He’s a good person, Julia. How could I say anything? It would have got him into trouble, and he doesn’t deserve that. He’s a good man.”


But we got this wonderful thought from the female investigator of the case that shows exactly what she thinks about "good men."


There are a lot of them about. My father was a good man. He was a respected officer. Didn’t stop him beating the shit out of me and my brother when he lost his temper, but still. When my mother complained to one of his colleagues after he broke my youngest brother’s nose, his colleague said, “There’s a thin blue line, love, and I’m afraid you just don’t cross it.”


I just really liked the last part of the book where it becomes evident that all the women being blamed for everything is part of a larger point. I even appreciated how one of the people who was making those points about one man still was guilty of excusing another for his wrongs because she saw him as "good" and didn't want to ruin his life over it. Despite seeing things so clearly in one area, she still had a blind spot for another area.


I also liked the relationship between Jules and Lena who start out on the wrong foot with one another, but grow to understand each other as they learn how to communicate. Both of them are "messed up" as Lena puts it, but that doesn't mean they can't form a family together.


Most of the characters in this are unlikable, with several being particularly awful, but I still loved a few of them, despite their faults. No one is perfect or without some measure of fault for at least one of the issues in the book. But some of the characters are given more than their fair share of the blame. There's not an easy or clear answer to how much blame someone deserves for each issue. Just an acknowledgement that there's typically an unfair distribution of that blame.


Despite a slow start with a large cast of characters to keep straight, I ended up loving the Into the Water. It may have taken a little bit to draw me in, but once it had me, I was glued to it. I have a feeling it will be on my mind for a while.

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review 2017-06-17 13:35
Girl On The Train!!!
Girl on the Train: Der Roman zum Kinofilm - Paula Hawkins,Christoph Göhler

German and english review


Ich hab das Buch gerade fertig gelesen und ich bin mir noch nicht sicher, wie ich das Buch bewerten soll, ohne irgendwas zu verraten. Aber fangen wir erst mal ganz von Vorne an.


Inhalt: Jeden Morgen pendelt Rachel mit dem Zug in die Stadt, und jeden Morgen hält der Zug an der gleichen Stelle auf der Strecke an. Rachel blickt in die Gärten der umliegenden Häuser, sieht ihre Bewohner. Und eines Tages beobachtet sie etwas Schockierendes ...


Ich gestehe, dass ich am Anfang echt meine Schwierigkeiten hatte in das Buch reinzufinden. Es ist richtig gut geschrieben und ich liebe es, dass wir die Geschichte aus der Perspekive von drei Frauen lesen konnten, Rachel, Megan und Anna. Trotzallem hatte es eine Weile gedauert bis ich wirklich in dem Buch angekommen bin aber dann hatte es mich gepackt und gar nicht mehr los gelassen.


Rachel ist eine totale Katastrophe, die ich aber ziemlich schnell ins Herz geschlossen habe. Je weiter ein Charakter davon entfernt ist perfekt zu sein, um so lieber habe ich sie. Außerdem hat sie schließlich im Laufe des Buches an sich gearbeitet und ohne sie wäre das Buch einfach nicht das gewesen was es letzendlich war. Megan mochte ich auch total gerne, obwohl sie ebenfalls eine Katastrophe war. Wenn es um Anna geht, bin ich mir immer noch nicht sicher, was ich von ihr halten soll. Außerdem gab es Cathy, ein neben Charakter, den ich wirklich gleich ins Herz geschlossen habe. Sie war unglaublich toll.


Und das war es auch schon. Mehr will ich eigentlich garnicht sagen, denn ich finde je weniger man weiß um so besser ist es. Mich hat das Buch jeden fall komplett überzeugt. Die Geschichte war super umgesetzt und richtig gut erzählt. Es gab viele gute Wendungen und es war bis zum Ende absolut spannend. Ich kann es echt nur empfehlen.




I just finished the book and I'm not sure how to actually review this book without giving anything away. But let's start at the beginning.


Rachel takes the same commuter train every morning and night. Every day she rattles down the track, flashes past a stretch of cozy suburban homes, and stops at the signal that allows her to daily watch the same couple breakfasting on their deck. She’s even started to feel like she knows them. Jess and Jason, she calls them. Their life—as she sees it—is perfect. Not unlike the life she recently lost.

And then she sees something shocking. It’s only a minute until the train moves on, but it’s enough. Now everything’s changed. Unable to keep it to herself, Rachel goes to the police. But is she really as unreliable as they say? Soon she is deeply entangled not only in the investigation but in the lives of everyone involved. Has she done more harm than good?


I have to confess, that I had some problems getting into the story in the beginning. The writing is really amazing and I loved that we got to read the story from the point of view from three woman, Rachel, Megan and Anna. Still, it took me quite a bit to really get into it but when I did, it REALLY got me.


Rachel is a total mess, who I've taken in my heart right away. The farthest away a character is from being perfect, the more I love them. I also think that she worked a lot on herself throughout the whole book and without her the book wouldn't be what it is. Megan, I really liked her as well. She was a mess, too. When it comes to Anna, I'm not sure, I really don't know what to think of her. And there was also Cathy, a minor charater, that I really enjoyed reading about. She was just wonderful.


And that's about it. I don't really wanna say more, cause I think the less you know when getting into the book, the better it is. Anyway, the book really REALLY worked for me. The story is so well done and told in an amazing way. There were so many twists and turns and the story was thrilling until the very end. I really recommend it.

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text 2017-06-07 13:24
Reading progress update: I've read 141 out of 448 pages.
Girl on the Train: Der Roman zum Kinofilm - Paula Hawkins,Christoph Göhler

It took me a bit but now I'm really into this book. Rachel is such a mess, I love her.

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