No word. Horrible book. Wasted trees.
For more details. Read Moonlight Reader's post.
This author has been recommended to me by many people over the years. When I read the blurb for this book I was excited to finally get to her work. A pet whisper who helps take down a killer/drug dealer. I'm a sucker for paranormal stories, add animals and I'm a happy reader. I was not a happy reader while reading this. I'm warning you I was feeling a bit rant-ish after finishing it.
What went wrong for me: Never ending telling and retelling, over explained everything down to the smallest little detail, repetitive explanations, cold mechanical sex, weird methodical dialog, silly goading, too many dialogs, one dimensional characters, conversations that I could not figure out who was speaking, the conversations with the animals were odd and didn't feel emotional like they were told to be. Yes, told, the book spent a lot of time telling me how it was to be felt. They talked/inner dialog/explained so much I just wanted them to shut up so I could read the story. The romance, sigh, what romance ? It was ridiculous, heated glares, glances, and "let's have sex" after you kidnapped me and plan on using me in a way that could get me tortured and killed. It was step A, step B, step C, done. Really, is that supposed to work ? The suspense, was so cheesy, the big bad guys so hollywood derived, I never felt it. The ending was, nothing, it went to nothing.
What did I like about the story ? When she rescued Juno, that was a good moment. Till the dog started talking, ugg ruined moment that lasts and lasts. I hope that I never get to talk with animals if they keep repeating themselves like Juno. My dog is looking at me now and I'm so grateful I can't hear a word, sorry pup.
Stubborn to the end I finished this book even when I knew at 10% in it wasn't working for me. I will not be reading more from this author her style does not work for me.
“And a woman floating outside of time looks to the future and the past for answers to what can save humanity.” – When I read this line, I didn’t immediately think about Slaughterhouse Five. If I had made the Slaughterhouse Five/Billy Pilgrim connection, I would probably have ran screaming in the other direction. A Vonnegut fan I am most decidedly not, and Slaughterhouse Five in particular is one of those books that makes my lip curl in disgust when I think about it. But I didn’t make the connection in the synopsis of Agents of Dreamland, so I committed to reading the book.
I can acknowledge that my issues with this book fall under personal taste rather than just bad writing. First off is the prose. I don’t know if this is a trademark of Kiernan’s writing (and if it is she’ll be an author I avoid in the future), but Sweet Baby Cthulhu, Agents of Dreamland is overflowing with metaphors and similes. I don’t mind the occasional one here and there, but there’s definitely a line I draw in the sand. Upon further reflection, it was probably deliberately done to add to the sense of unreality given to you from the plot itself, but it was just outright boring after about four pages in.
There were elements of the novel that I did like. The idea behind the novel itself – of spores of an alien civilization seeding itself upon the earth – was a fun one. I’d like to see a fleshed out version of this plot written with a bit of a blunter pen and more fitted into the sci-fi horror or sci-fi thriller categories. Obviously, the Lovecraftian references delighted me. (The ones that I caught, at least. I’m sure there were some I didn’t get.) There was a snippet of a poem from Lovecraft that she shares near the end of the book that was truly beautiful. I have the full poem marked for reading later. And I did like the connections she made across the ages to add a bit of depth to the story.
However, Kiernan has an interesting mind. That cannot be denied. And there were portions of Agents of Dreamland that did make me think. She also makes some interesting (and apt) observations about humanity. And there was one element in the story that I’ve never seen appear in another science fiction novel, so the uniqueness was appreciated. I just need a little more oomph than ooh la la when it comes to my stories, please.
No, no, NO. This was supposed to be a Triple Win for me.
There are two Sloane Jacobs. One of them is an ice-skater...
The other one plays hockey...
They are unhappy with their lives and when they meet, decide to do a Parent Trap/The Pauper and The Prince thing.
Starts OK, but when they meet, they have like, zero bonding. They do not even like each other, but still, they decided to carry on with the plan. I don't claim to be an expert about ice-skating and hockey, but how realistic is for a hockey player to do a pair skating performance after 4 weeks? I can forgive an ice-skater to play hockey, but a hockey player to do well in ice-skating?? Not because she can skate it means she do figure skating! The hockey-Sloane was big and graceless. And she won 2nd place at the end? Say what?
The story was sooo juvenile, I wasn't expecting it from looking at the cover (covers can be deceitful, I know). Both of them find a Mean Girl in their camp; one of them (Ivy, the ice-skater) was soo 2-dimensional. She even says that "pink is her color". What. So both Sloane, to prove they are strong, take revenge of the Mean Girls. In such an immature way. Pranks I expect from, I don't know, maybe 12-years-old boys.
Their respective love interest were sooo boring. Both of them "soooo good looking". I had an instant dislike with one of them, when the author described him as looking like a Bieber. Yuck. And towards the end, when each of the boys find out that his girl was lying to him, it was all "what? you are lying to me? so that kiss was all a lie?", and each girl was "nooo, please listen to me, let me explain" with tears down the cheeks. Oh my, what a cliche soap opera.
I didn't like this book. Predictable with unlikable characters. I started skimming when they girls were exposed. I barely read their "excellent" performances, which was soooo unrealistic. The hockey-player winning a 2nd place in pair figure skating... ha!