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text 2021-01-25 05:58
How to Choose the Right Relationship Coach for Yourself?

 

If you have decided that you want to work with a relationship coach, then you need to consider finding the right person for the job. This may not prove to be as straightforward as you hope, considering that it has to be someone qualified that you click with well. 

How do you go about the task of finding the right relationship coach? Well, some tips can greatly help you. Let’s find out more about them: 

  • Start by deciding whether your ideal coach is a male or female – normally, people consider a coach that they are more likely to open up to. And that is a personal choice, but one you need to make from the outset. Do you feel more comfortable talking about dating life with a female coach, or perhaps a male one? If you have a problem relating to a particular gender, then it is safe to go with a coach of that same gender. But you can also consider the valuable perspective you get from someone of the opposite gender. You decide to make it. 

  • Find a person who specialises in the area you need – relationship coaching is a very broad term that covers most of what our relationship with others is all about. But there are many aspects to it, which you may be struggling with. For example, you may be having problems expressing yourself in a relationship, or the way you show up. You may be repeating some self-defeating patterns, which crush your self-esteem. The most important thing is to identify the area that you think is lacking for you and work on that with the relationship coach. Only through targeted efforts can you hope to overcome your problems. 

  • Online vs in-person sessions – 2020 has redefined what is possible in terms of coaching. More and more coaches have turned to online work with their clients since meeting in-person has become problematic. That should not be an issue, considering the advancement of technology. But if you prefer one method of work over the other, make sure you discuss matters with the coach and figure out the best way to conduct meetings for you. 

  • The person needs to have proper experience and training – the coach needs to have the tools and full understanding of them, to help you with your issue. They need to be able to properly teach them to you so that you don’t feel stuck and confused. Some coaches have the testimonials to show that they have the experience, others have a degree in psychology and/or sociology and know the science of human behaviour. 

  • The coach must be sensitive to your values – your views on relationships intersect with your core beliefs and values. If you have a healthy value system, which serves as a compass in your life, you want to work with a coach who is sensitive to those values. They need to integrate with them if they are to truly help you find your way to a happier relationship. 

  • Consider an approximate budget – think about your work with a relationship coach as an investment. Once you know how much you can afford, you will be more willing to view it this way, rather than just an expense. It is hard to put the right price tag on finding joy with someone you love. That is why it is important to work with a coach, who doesn’t cause you to stress over money. 

These are all important tips that you should consider when searching for a relationship coach. 


© Kate Mansfield Dating Coach

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text 2020-12-25 13:54
Anatomy of Three Pickups

 

This is part 2 of my post on getting numbers and setting up dates. Read part 1 here. I’m going to present three of my interactions and describe why they worked or didn’t work.

Before I launch into it, I want to say a few words on Calibration. Calibration is your sense of how a person is going to react to the things you say and do. The more interactions you have and the more experience you accumulate, the better you’re calibrated and the better you can respond to the other person. Calibration is pretty much fundamental to game, and every social artist will tell you to do thousands of approaches until your calibration is finely tuned. For me, this is where pickup becomes an art form…human interactions go from being awkward, clunky communications to highly interesting (and fun) exchanges. In fact, I want to go a step further and say that an interaction can become transcendent when you have two people with great game communicating with each other.

 

Why am I ranting about calibration? Because being properly calibrated is key to all of the pickups I’m about to talk about.

 

The Hot Poker Player

 

I was having a drink at a local hangout with Spontaneous, one of my wings in New Mexico. We were seated at the bar. There was a multi-table Texas Hold’em tournament going on in the background. During a break in the action, a hot chick with big cans pulled up next to me and ordered a beer. She bore a striking resemblance to Amanda Bynes, except with much bigger ta-tas. I opened her with, “Hey, how are the cards going?”

We BS’ed for a moment, she got her beer and went back to the table. A few minutes later she came back to the bar. I kept my back to her. Spontaneous was facing me and looking right at the girl, so I knew he could read her if she was giving me a proximity IOI. Spontaneous confirmed that she checked me out. It was on.

 

I waited about 15 minutes then walked to her table and re-opened. This was a break between rounds, so the players were just hanging out and a few seats were open. I sat down next to her and we flirted and bantered for 15 minutes. I built up a great connection and it turned out we had a ton in common, not the least of which is that we attended the same college at the same time. It’s also worth noting that she was divorced and had a kid. I was doing all of this in front of a table full of male poker players, all of whom were watching and listening to my every move. It was a major rush to pick this girl up in front of an audience!

 

She wanted me to stay for the next round of the tournament and play cards, but I told her I couldn’t because I had a party to go to (true) . This is where I f’ed up. I told her we were going to meet up the next day and get sushi, which she happily agreed to. We punched our numbers into each other’s phones. Spontaneous and I departed for the party. At the party, the hot chick and I flirted via text for two hours. I thought for certain that my date was secure.

 

I was totally wrong. She flaked on me the next day and I never heard or saw her again. Why? My theory is she just wanted to get laid, and she either got picked up by another dude, or she flaked because I wanted to “date” and not pull. There is where my calibration was off…she was totally into me and ready to go home and all I had to do was play my cards right (pun intended). At the time, it didn’t occur to me to try for the pull because of the complicated logistics (Spontaneous drove and we were expected at a party). So, a lost opportunity. (Too bad, because she had those huge jugs.)

 

Lessons learned:

  • Sometimes the girl just wants to screw. Read the situation and adjust your game appropriately.
  • Much of game is logistics. If I could have figured out a way to get out of my party, ditch my wing, and get a ride home, I could have nailed the hot chick.

The Married Girl From Iowa

 

I was at Chillers on a Saturday night. The place was friggin’ packed. Around midnight, I opened a mixed 6-set. After the group opener, I put my arm around a tallish blonde in the group and pulled her next to me. I believe my specific line to her was, “So, what’s your story?” She responded positively and I gamed her up. This ended up being one of the coolest bar conversations I’ve ever had…she was a fantasy, sci-fi, and Harry Potter geek, so we bullshitted about those subjects for an hour. I maintained a sexual frame and we kino’ed each other throughout. After the long convo, we went to the dancefloor and grinded on each other for another half hour. I even grabbed another chick and did the Lance sandwich grinding thing with both of them. It was totally sweet. Oh yeah, she was a Leo, and I basically told her everything about her personality and love style because I know Leos pretty well.

 

Well, it turns out she was married. She was a producer at a local TV station and had just moved to town from Iowa, and hubby was still back in the Hawkeye state. I can say with 75% certainty that she was looking for a no-strings-attached hookup. How do I know? She insisted I take her phone number and myspace info, AND she ditched her friends to hang out with me even though she had been driven downtown. I opted not to k-close or try for a pull that night because of the married thing, although I’ve maintained the connection through myspace.

 

Lesson Learned:

  • If you make a strong enough connection, she’ll insist that you take her number.
  • Even marrieds want to get some ass.

The Hot Hair Stylist Who Also Worked At Hooters

 

I went to a new place and got a haircut. To my pleasant surprise, the stylist was a smoking hot blonde. I chatted with her for a few minutes while she was working and couldn’t get anything going. The conversation meandered to VH1′s The Pickup Artist and she was a fan. Well, talking about game is a specialty of mine of course, so we had a great little convo about that. I told her I knew Mike Stoute, the leading vote getter on The Pickup Artist Season 2 website, and she thought that was pretty cool. Hook point. She was interested in me and I knew if I asked for digits I would get them.

 

Right after she finished my hair cut, I stood up and playfully said, “Hey, what’s your myspace address? We should be myspace friends!” She agreed and wrote the address on the back of her business card (note, the card only had the store phone number on it). I could have asked her directly for her number, but she was young (age 21) and I figured she would be more apt to share myspace info. Oh yeah, besides cutting hair, this girl also works shifts at the local Hooters!

 

Well, my calibration was working perfectly, because after I checked out her myspace page it turned out she had a serious boyfriend. Like, her myspace headline said, “Buffy & Dusty” with little hearts around it. Yuck. If I had asked her out on a date she would have turned me down. Now, if I want, I can run a little facebook game and see if I can get her to meet me out with some of her Hooters girlfriends.

 

Lessons Learned:

  • It’s often easier to get email or myspace info from younger chicks
  • Calibrate to the individual and formulate a couple of options with where you can go with the interaction

Bonus: Hot Grad Student On A Date

 

This one actually happened before I got into social artistry and it was probably the only “natural” pickup I’ve ever pulled off. Well, I was out with a bunch of guy friends in downtown Orlando. We were having a blast and there was a energetic, fun vibe amongst my group.

 

We’re at this one Irish-theme bar and I see a girl I know from my graduate program sitting at a high top with a dude. They’re obviously on a date. I had a couple of classes with the girl and we’re acquainted, but we’ve never hung out after hours. Well, I rocked straight up to the table and opened her. I can’t remember the exact opener, but since I knew her already I’m sure I just greeted her by name. We fluffed for a minute and I told her I had to leave but we should hang out sometime. She agreed. I asked for and was reminded of her email address (I already had it, but I wanted to make sure). I completely ignored her date.

 

We ended up dating and doing a LTR for over a year. Now, we’re good friends, and Honey is the co-author of this blog. Honey, you might remember this one differently…

Lessons Learned

 

  • Bring a fun, energetic vibe to your interactions and you’ll succeed.
  • Anything is possible.
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text 2020-12-22 23:37
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text 2020-12-22 16:45
A Simple Key For Shopify Pricing Unveiled

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url 2020-11-26 05:48
How to Build a Dating Website - vervelogic

How to Build a Dating Website - New to this sector? Here are some easy steps to build your Dating Website like a pro

 

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