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review 2018-01-16 23:17
The Duchess Deal - Tessa Dare

 

The Duchess Deal has everything that normally gets on my nerves:
_It has an insane plot (Ema decides to confront a Duke in order to get paid for a dress she made for his ex-fiancée... but here's the thing, she's a seamstress that works for a modiste -_-?
_It has an alpha douchebag, a scarred alpha douchebag with a LOT of emotional baggage
_The story focus solely on a few number of characters with only a few descriptions of the surroundings... unless we're talking about what drapes Emma is planning to destroy...
_Once again _ because it's Tessa Dare _ we have goats; okay I don't mind the goats...
_ Every single person in the book is slightly deranged; in a endearing kind of way, but still deranged.
_ The main characters spend a great number of pages acting like horny rabbits. o_O
Cute, with a great chemistry, horny rabbits... okay, this may have to go in the positives as well...

As for positives, well the banter is pretty good in a passive aggressive/did I mention insane/ hilarious way.
There's a cat. So bonus point for the cat.
(...)
Oh, Ash's sidekick is pretty funny, LOL

Negatives yes, again... oh the drama that lasts a few pages towards the end, but which is so lame. And pointless... and did I mention lame?
But you know what?
Most of the time I did have fun reading it, lol
 
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review 2015-09-14 14:28
When a Scot Ties the Knot
When a Scot Ties the Knot - Tessa Dare

Much like what happened with the first book in this series, I loved reading this story.

If you're a fan of intelligent heroines _ who may or may not feel a strong attachment to a pair of lobsters..._ and brooding heroes _ who don't think a kilt is a skirt_, this is just the story for you.

 

"Maddie was, by nature, an observer.(..) And she had a great deal of experience observing the mating rituals of many strange and wondrous creatures, from English aristocrats to cabbage moths."

 

Her lobsters are called Fluffy and Rex...

 Don't judge, we'd be giving names to our fleas if we lived back then!

 

So, young Maddie is one of us nerds. She prefers to read to basically... everything. Unless we're talking about drawing.  You see, Maddie is an artist.

 

And when confronted with the need to mingle with actual people, she gets a little a lot stressed out (okay, that's me -_-).

 Now in a time when a woman success was defined by the marriage she would make, one could say that Maddie was in a bit of a pickle.

 

So, what is a girl to do when your stubborn family insists that you should go out and mingle?

And more worrisome than that, insist that you find a significant other?

Ah! If only! :/

The family insists on a two legged specimen  -_-

Blast.

 

So, what is a girl to do besides inventing a boyfriend? Not much, right?

(not that I know anything about it! Although I did try to make up a boyfriend for my aunt ; but that's another story.)

That's how Capt. Logan Mckenzie comes to exist. A convenient fiancée ready to act as a buffer every time Maddie's family would insist that she would go out to balls and other couldn't be less interested about it stuff.

A couple years later the ruse is still on, and Maddie feels that it is time to end to whole deal.

So, so long Capt. McDreamy: Boom, you're dead.

;)

 

Maddie doesn't even mind the mourning period, because she gets to live in her own castle and having the time of her life doing what she likes best. Life is good.

But then one day this Highlander dude appears at her door claiming to be her fiancée.

Her dead fiancée.

Maddie is obviously stressed about it, because, hello?

DUDE, YOU DO NOT EXIST!

 

What follows next is just as crazy as you'd expect in a Tessa Dare novel. The pace is good _ although it does slow a little when some... characters go MIA _ the characters have a great chemistry, and all in all this is a great novel to read if you're in the mood for some insane historical romance.

Definitely recommended, because obviously I prefer crazy to big drama llama.

 

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review 2015-08-02 21:29
Didn't feel the love...
In the Arms of the Heiress - Maggie Robinson

You know those books that you start to read and you love the beginning so much that you think you are going to devour them in no time at all...but then you get "hit" by a crazy amount of silliness and you just feel like crying, because you spent your money on that??

Yup, this one was one of those.

Lucky me. -_-

 

Once upon a time _ more like in the beginning of the twentieth century _ there was an heiress _ well, I guess there were lots of them, but... you know what I mean _ called Louisa Stratton who was in desperate need of a husband.

A fake husband, after all she is rich, why would she need a husband after all?

 

So... why the need for a fake husband?

 

Well, poor Louisa has a family from Hell.

Her parents drowned when she was a small child, leaving her at the "care" of an aunt who basically kept her imprisoned until the girl came into the possession of her inheritance, at the age of twenty five years old.

Besides the aunt, there's a cousin _ The evil aunt's son! _who apparently spent a lot of his time trying to compromise or even rape the girl!

For crying out loud.

 

Now a year later, and having tasted freedom for the first time, she finds herself being summoned home, because she may (yes, she did that) have written that she had married a handsome devil _ aren't they all? _ rich _obviously _ and intelligent guy.

When your family already thinks that you aren't the smartest person in the world, telling them that you married an idiot, wouldn't probably be wise...

 

Now the family wants to meet such paragon, which leaves Louisa in a bit of a situation.

Luckily for Louisa, Mary Eversong the proprietor of the Evensong agency has just the right candidate for the job...

Enter's War hero Charles Cooper...

 

Okay, I am going to stop right now with the book description.

This story had everything to work, but unfortunately around chapter twelve/ thirteen things started to fall apart.

The whole romance or attraction ends up being developed full speed ahead which was really disconcerting considering that it involved two individuals that were in the presence of one another for about a day. Two days maximum.

 

Also, apparently suffering a head trauma may be considered as a prelude for having sex, which was also  -_- weird to read...

And after that, it just went downhill with all the soap opera silly moments that ends up taking place.

It goes from, "oh, after this night of debauchery that we had, we'll keep our hands to one another"...five minutes later they're in bed.

Every single day the guy is the target of some sort of attack: with all the hits to his head, I'm surprised he didn't go into a coma -_-

Then there's the "marry me" _ says he, two days after they've met _ that will be followed by " no, I am not good enough for you...

They are a boring lot of characters.

 

Louisa as the main character is one of the most boring heroines I've ever read about.

She's supposed to be wild and reckless with her shocking modern way of thinking, but I never "bought it". I wanted to see some character development because the girl starts with no backbone whatsoever... unfortunately she ends up in the same way she started as.

 

As for Charles, he has a sort of wtf back-story that was supposed to make us see him as a hero, but which was in truth appalling to read about. He was a capt in the Boer war, and during a time responsible for a women's concentration camp

and we are told that there was this girl who didn't want to die as a virgin, so Charles _heroic and noble Charles _ went through the trouble of depriving her of such condition....*deep breath*, but since the girl was in such an unhealthy state _ I just can't _ she dies immediately after of a heart attack....of course being a gentleman he blames himself for having killed her... with his dick...[/spoiler]

[spoiler]

(spoiler show)

Why am I not giving one star to this?

 

Bottom line *cough* this story has one of the weirdest combination of themes.

Yes, through most of it it manages to be idiotic as hell (with all the failed attempts to Charles' life), but then the author manages to show us what it was like to live in such a time especially for a woman that didn't want to comply with her family wishes. The fear of psychiatric  internment was still very much alive back then.

 

For me the story's setting was better developed than the actual story, or even its characters.

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review 2015-05-07 15:01
And for an insane story I give you an insane review :D
The Duke's Holiday - Maggie Fenton

This could be your typical enemies to lovers romance.

The two main characters look into each others eyes and they know, they feel, that they could basically kill one another without having it weight _ all that much _on their consciences.
That, or basically rip each others clothes!

Oh, oh, look... first thing in common! :D

But besides being a farce, a comedy, deep... deep down _okay, not that deep _ this is a  love story between two very troubled individuals who love to be on control... of basically everything in their lives.

So, Montford _ the Duke _ aka Cyril... aka "my parents were probably wasted when they gave me this horrible combination of names" ( my phrasing but close enough) is all that is proper and boring. A true peer of the realm.
He also has occasional bouts of OCD : I honestly would have loved seeing the guy rearrange the entire library and not just a tiny little shelf.

So here is someone happy content basically depressed with his life (arranged marriage in a month and basic stuff like that..) when he suddenly finds out that the patriarch of a family who has been annoying the Montfords _like... for centuries!_ has actually died a year ago.

And why does this death upsets his well ordained world?
Because in the absence of a male heir, the Honeywell "clan" will lose his land to Montford.
*Adds evil laughter*
( not that Montford would be crass to do such a thing... although he does ponder the possibility of grave... investigation?)

Finally, Montford will be able to install some order in the lands that should have been his: blah, blah, this is mine... blah, blah this is ours (says the other party).

Now Montford, OCD Montford has another set of problems peculiarities:
He can't stand the sight of blood without fainting _ the poor guy actually has a pretty good reason for that.
He has a very sensitive stomach... a little like my cat Gigio o_O, not that Gigio rides in coaches, but he's a very sensitive CAT.
(Montford could be a cat...)

He's also extremely handsome with his blue eyes, chocolate fur and impossibly long beige..whiskers ;)
(My cat. Although it is said that Montford is not that bad to look at too...ah!)

I have no idea where I am going with this review...
_____
________
Humour.
 Insanity galore. Borderline insane characters... check
Crazy "ginormous" Pig... check.
(Pig, pig... the oinc oinc type... not the "how ya doing babe?")
Crazy family member... check.
Hateful family members... check.
Insta hate-attraction... check.
One sleaze-ball villain * YOU'LL BE MINE AH! AH! AH!* cue music... check.
Witty dialogues and at times intelligent bratty repartee... check

So why a 3.5 star you ask.
Q: Susana, why the 3.5 star rating?

Well... once upon a time when I started reading this I was your typical "head over heels/give me that book/ go away" bookworm!
I couldn't read fast enough.

And then suddenly I wasn't anymore, because this dragged, and dragged, and craziness started piling up, and I started getting really mad with these two!
Astrid was impossible. Twenty six years old and there were plenty of times when she acted like a brat.

Also I could have done without the : hey you just whipped me... hm, not that bad.... :/
Or the: Hey, you've just trussed me up like a chicken... but I like it. Ugh
(once again my words)

Has anyone seen the cover for fifty shades of chicken? Because I have! AND THE IMAGE IS EMBEDDED IN MY BRAIN UNTIL THIS DAY!
-_-
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
*cries*
You're everywhere :/ in your silly small mentions.

Bottom Line: With some moments... "trimmed" this could actually be a four/four and half star rating.
I'll probably end up re-reading this in a near future but I think this time I'll skip the end, in which she was trussed up like a chicken, and they were making out in a moving carriage.
The damn thing was moving right? o_O

And whom in their right mind takes of to Gretna Green without... I don't know...money?
Some...snacks? Water?
A f****g bath?
And the castle has just ______ ______________!
And she just takes of like that?
What about the girls?
What about all those people?

My poor OCD brain does not compute.

Author's Official Site

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review 2015-01-22 23:05
White Witch, Black Curse - Kim Harrison

Well this was pretty much more of the same, and by that I mean that Rachel continues to get herself into all the messes and predicaments she can come up with!

And that becomes exhausting to read.

Despite that, this continues to be one of my favourite urban fantasy series, mainly because I love the Hollows world and most of its insane characters _I may even have started warming up to Ivy.

Despite that, I can't help wishing that the book had been about half its size.
Oh, and can't we get Rachel a therapist so that she can start dealing with her need for "Rachel candy" once and for all? o_O
We've just got ridden ourselves from Marshall!
You're telling me that in the next book, I'll have to put up with Pierce?
*sigh*
Why, why do I like you...you frustrating series!?

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