What the heck did I just read? Was I supposed to take this seriously, or is the author pranking me?

First off, suspend all notions of realism. There's none in this book. Secondly, get rid off any expectations for fleshed out characters whose actions make even a lick of sense. Thirdly, fire your inner editor for the duration of reading this book.

Do those three things, and this may be an enjoyable book.

Review with spoilers - proceed at your own risk.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

No, really. Kedon is basically a doormat with maybe a wee, wee bit of backbone, and Tarrell is mostly a jerk who has some nice moments. I almost believed that he developed real feelings for Kedon, but he primarily seemed to look at him as another thing to possess.

Throughout the book, the POV switches between Kedon and Tarrell, and it's sometimes difficult to immediatelly discern who's talking. Dialogue is mostly ridiculous and stiff, and the writing... seriously, I think the author may be trolling us. Rigid staff, hard staff, conquering staff... for the love of god, if you're writing what's supposedly a sexy scene, staff isn't the right word to use.

Also, the editing isn't up to snuff, and I kept marking the file in my Nook repeatedly for simple things that a good editor should have immediately caught.

The book is super OTT, and if you do those three things I mentioned at the beginning, you might have fun reading this. Don't take this seriously.

Seriously.


** I received a free copy of this book from IndiGo Marketing and Design as part of a blogtour/promo. A positive review was not promised in return. **

John Green: "When was the last time the girl kissed the boy in a teen romance?"

Tumblr: "All the fucking time."

http://tmblr.co/ZJm1lx1IEH69T 

[SPOILER WARNING!]

This is NOT a joke. Green confirmed it on his tumblr. 

This is the savior of YA? Really? Just wow.

My first thought upon finding this was, "Oh my God, is this a thing?" My second thought upon finding this was, "SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!" My third thought upon finding this was, "Oh shit, another awesome book I wouldn't have discovered if not for Goodreads & don't have a snowball's chance of getting."



Except I did find a copy, for a mere fifty-cents, too, at my library's monthly book sale. I snapped up that puppy just as someone else was reaching towards it ("MINE!" I say, "MINE!!!!!!") and took it home, whereupon it fell behind my bed along with the million or so ARCs I've received in the mail from authors wanting me to review their books, and I forgot about it until I started cleaning and was like, "OH MY GOD!!! SHINY BOOK!"



So here we are.



THE BIG BENTO BOX OF UNUSELESS JAPANESE INVENTIONS lives up to its name. In this book, we learn about the art of "chindogu." To qualify as chindogu, an item must have been made with the intent to solve a problem--and fail miserably, and in a comical way. Like little mop booties for your cat so it cleans the floor as it walks. Or a full-body umbrella. Or a tie that has built-in pockets for scissors, credit cards, calculator, pens, etc. Or a no-hands table tennis paddle you wear around your face. Chindogu cannot be made with the intent of comedy (so 99.9% of the kluges on "There I Fixed It" are out). No, they are SRS BUSINESS.



Chindogu is apparently Japanese for "crap I bought on infomercials while watching daytime TV."



Like the butter stick.

The fancy shoe umbrellas.

 

 

3.5 stars!

I don't really have anything good to say about this book, sadly. The blurb sounded interesting, but now that I've read the whole thing, that was about all that was interesting about this book. It needs a serious editor, first of all. Run on sentences are only the tip of the iceberg. 

Frankly, this read like a 3rd rate fanfic story, hastily thrown together. There is sooo much overly detailed info for things I didn't care about - like what Rafe's Tavern serves for food, or what Justin is wearing when he comes into the bar, or how Justin takes off his coat - and not enough substance to carry this story line. 

All telling, no showing, consistently dumping irrelevant information.

A detective in the bar, a little drunk, I guess, relays the entire story of the relevant homicide that happened the previous year, and that is how the author chose to give us the background info on what took place. Seriously, a detective doing that in a public bar, drunk or not, should be fired. Secondly, this is all info-dumping, clumsily done at that.

Rafe, who is a tavern owner, also knows all about how floral arrangements are made - even though he has no experience with that type of thing, at least not based on what we know of him. 

Both characters are flat and uninteresting. There is no substance to either of them. The only nice thing I can say about Rafe is that he seems to care very much about Justin, but it smacked of insta-love and didn't feel realistic at all. Justin is all woe is me and depressed, but while his outlook is perhaps understandable, he felt to me like someone who is a doormat, who just lets this stuff happen to him, without ever fighting back. 

I stopped taking notes around 25% of this short novella, and just read the rest of it simply to finish the book. Drama with the ex-boyfriend, who is so one-dimensional it's not even funny, Rafe calling Justin "his little man" without there being a relationship at all in place, Justin being all emo and depressed, and talking about needing money to buy the florist shop (not that there's ever any hint given as to why he thinks his boss is planning to sell it in the first place) - it's all told in such a flat, boring way that I was glad this book was only about 13K words. 

The sex scene at the end - oh dear. First, they have "the talk" about exclusivity. Then they do the deed, and then there's the big HEA that I couldn't for the life of me believe in. It happens too quickly, too unexpectedly for me, and it felt like the author was trying to wrap this up in a neat little bow that had no foundation in anything realistic. 

I can't recommend this at all. There is a good story hidden in this, with a decent plot line, but the writing and lack of serious editing ruined it. And that's without counting the missing proofreading, what with the many, MANY punctuation issues that any proofreader worth his/her salt should have found. 

Yeah. This wasn't a good book for me. 

** I received a free copy of this book from the publisher. A positive review was not promised in return. **