Title: Love is Found
Series: The Only If Series #1
Author: R. Paone
Genre: Adult, Gay Contemporary Romance, Coming of Age
Coming: November 16, 2015

R. Paone

 

 

Love is Found Excerpt © R. Paone 2015
He was quiet. Dead quiet.
“Are you?”
“I don’t know what I am into, to be honest. I really have had passing thoughts about guys sometimes when I jerk off, stuff like that. I never made any effort to act on it ever, I swear.” There it was again. That look of total defeat in his eyes. He propped himself up on his hands and knees resting his forehead down on them.
Part of me was beginning to feel accusative and prying. I had to remind myself that this was not about his sexuality but the concern of his actions involving me in them, as I had as much to lose in this situation whether he noticed it or not. I started to think I was being harsh and felt guilty because I didn’t want him to think off the bat I was questioning what he was attracted to. I didn’t want to do that. That wasn’t why I was here.
“Listen-“ I moved in closer, hesitant. I put my hand on his back. I could feel slight dampness beneath the cotton. He was sweating. He was heaving. He was crying. “Mitch, look at me, are you okay? It’s going to be fine. We can move past this.”
Just when I thought I was going to be on the receiving end of not being able to control my emotions, here was this grown man crying in front of me. I was feeling so many different sentiments right now. Reluctant I started to rub his back going back and forth between pity and future for what hurt he was feeling. He pulled himself up from his lap trying to catch his breath.
“No, it’s not going to be fine. I am a fucking mess, can’t you see that? I’m going to be 28 soon and I can’t figure out if I am even straight or bi or whatever. To make matters worse I’m not only dragging my clueless girlfriend into this shit storm, but also you for whom I just met almost two weeks ago.” He sat up as tears streamed steadily down his face running through his dark stubble. “That night when I kissed you, Robert, it didn’t feel like a mistake or that was wrong. It almost felt like I was making the right choice by taking the chance to get you closer until you pulled away from me. That fucking terrified me. You tearing yourself away from me.”