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text 2021-09-06 07:33
A Guide to Couples Coaching - Everything You Need to Know

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Couples coaching involves coaching sessions for a couple, where a therapist will work with both partners to address certain concerns that are preventing true joy and fulfilment in the relationship. This sort of counselling works well regardless of how long the relationship has been going on. Every couple experiences difficulties at one point or another in their relationship and it is important to remember that couples coaching can help them overcome that. 

All about couples coaching 

The goal of this form of coaching is to help individuals set their expectations and desires about a relationship straight. More than that, it helps them make all of that happen. By the end of a couples coaching course, the couple should have a clear understanding of what is difficult in their life together and what their goals should be. The coach will actively work with both partners to develop working solutions. 

 should be pointed out that couples coaching also works on an individual level. It is based on the idea that when a person is feeling fulfilled on their own, they can bring that healthy motivation into a relationship and seek to make it better. That is what people coming to couples coaching sessions have in common – they know they want to make their relationships better and they are not quite sure whether they need to look for improvement in themselves or their partners. 

Difference between counselling and coaching

Couples counselling is all about providing a non-judgmental space for couples to discuss their issues and reveal their emotional wounds. For example, it can help a couple work on restoring trust after a case of infidelity. The goal is to fix an issue that has happened to them and find the best way to move forward. 

Coaching can be similar in that it also provides a non-judgmental space for discussion, but the therapy itself is more action-oriented. There is much less unpacking the past that takes place and more about focusing on what the future goals should be. In that sense, couples coaching is more focused on the present and the future, and not so much on the past. 

Depending on what you want to achieve, you will be able to choose your kind of support wisely. If you think unresolved problems from the past are hindering you, then seek out couples counselling. If you want to change the present problems you have with your partner, then couples coaching might be right. 

What do couples coaching help with? 

Coaching is quite versatile and can aid in many areas of your life. These areas are identified by the couple in the couple’s coaching. It could be before or during sessions. Here are a few examples of areas to work on: 

  • Clarity around obstacles – understanding what stands in your way is always the first step. Relationships don’t often make it easy to know what the problem is. Couples coaching can uncover the real issues and set the tone for working on them. 

  • Better communication – another important aspect of couples coaching lies with improving communication between partners. After all, communication is at the heart of any relationship. If it becomes a stumbling block, then something is wrong. 

  • Aligning visions and values for the future – as people enter a relationship, they bring different values and visions for the future. If they aren’t aligned, that is potential for conflict, which can be remedied with couples coaching. During it, couples can identify their core values and outline the future they want to build upon. 

  • Build mutual understanding – this can be a major problem in long-term relationships. Sometimes partners feel like the other is taking them for granted and need to work on ways to build more appreciation towards one another. 

© Zoe Clews & Associates

 

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text 2021-05-31 07:10
5 Tips to Keep in Mind When Choosing a Sexual Therapist

 

Couples and individuals alike seek the aid of a sexual therapist for different purposes. Women and men alike encounter different forms of sexual dysfunction and it is by seeing a sex therapist that they can largely positively affect them. This kind of therapy has been proven to be so good not just for such problems, but also for addressing bored and attraction-related issues. 

More and more people are recognising the benefits of working with experts on this matter. Thus, finding the right person for the task is the way to go. With such an intimate topic, you need to be able to work with a person you are most comfortable with and who has the required expertise to help you out. 

  • Consider your reasons for needing sex therapy – there is a lot that goes into the field of sex therapy. It encompasses issues from desire, to physical problems that you might be experiencing. A good sex therapist should have a good clinical experience, but it doesn’t hurt for you to ask if they have dealt with people with similar issues. That is why it is so important for you to decide on the exact issues you want such therapy to address. So ask yourself what you want to achieve and what sort of therapy you want to accept. Bear in mind that it is very likely you will get certain homework exercises, such as communication, or reading educational materials. You have to be ready to discuss your most intimate topics with a therapist, as well as your partner. 

  • Consider the experience and credentials of the therapist – this was touched upon the previous point, but it is important enough that it needs to be mentioned separately. For your therapist to be a reliable source of help, they should an MD, or PhD and then have done a sufficient number of hours in sexuality training. After all, you want the therapist to be able to consider all of the problems that might be present with their client. There are different dimensions the sexual therapist needs to be able to view the issues from – a psychological one, a physiological, a relational one and sometimes even a cultural one. 

  • Consider several options – there are many ways in which you can find a sex therapist. You can check out professional organisations, or perhaps seek referrals from your doctor and friends. Many online resources allow you to browse a database and pick from there. Whatever your sources of finding a therapist are, it is best not to just go with the first option presented. Instead, you should see 2-3 therapists and do an initial consultation with them. Since every person’s issues are highly individual, it may take more than one therapist to know you have finally clicked well and can proceed with the therapy. 

  • Ask about their treatment plan – therapy is usually a dynamic process, which changes as you proceed forward. However, it is important to ask your therapist what their therapy plan is for you and how it is going to go. In part, this has a lot to do with the fact that you will be able to better budget for therapy and monitor your progress. 

  • Check-in with yourself as the therapy goes on – sexual problems are largely intimate in nature. It will only get more comfortable as you progress the treatment. If you don’t feel comfortable, then perhaps your therapist is not the best fit for you and you should seek another expert on the matter. 

All of these tips should ensure that you make the most of your work with a sexual therapist and overall manage to benefit from them in resolving your problems. 

© Zoe Clews & Associates

 

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text 2021-03-01 06:04
4 Things Sex Therapists Wish Every Parent Knew

 

Sex therapists often need to provide advice for parents, who struggle with their sex life. Whether it is because of a new-born child, or perhaps a toddler that cannot stop crying at night, parenthood brings changes to a couple’s sex dynamics and not always for the better. To those who feel their sex lives are flatlining, sex therapists have a few useful recommendations: 

  • One partner is exhausted and achieving a sexy frame of mind is impossible – parents of small children and babies often experience such challenges. When one parent feels so worn out, their need for sleep and rest outranks the need for sex. The idea is that the person should not feel bad for desiring the former more than the latter. When parents are doing their thing – dealing with children, managing the new tasks, etc., it can be hard to switch to an erotic state. It is just hard to enjoy sex in such a situation. What makes a big difference then is a partner’s ability to empathise and help out the other person. If one of the partners feels that the other is not sharing the burden, it can lead to resentment and push them apart. This is a solvable riddle, which both partners can work on, possibly with the help of a sex therapist. 

  • Parenthood changes the human body – it is completely natural to feel less comfortable about your body after having a baby. Women are especially vulnerable to feeling depressed over the extra weight they put on. This can often lead to both parents feeling stuck. Communication is key, and assumptions are a killer. The idea is that parents should communicate their newfound feelings of discomfort and work around them. Yes, there are a lot of insecurities parents develop after having a baby. But with some proper work, both parents can view each other the same way they did before having a child. 

  • Don’t be so sure you know everything sex-related about your partner – everyone learns a lot about sex throughout their life – from their family and early relationships. This forms many expectations on a subconscious level, which we then bring into our relationships and marriages. And even if you think you know your partner, keep in mind no attitude towards sex is fixed. It can easily change, most notably after having a child. That is when one partner can reveal sex is much less of a priority for them, compared to the other person. The goal should always be to dig deeper into the beliefs your partner holds about sex, and show understanding. Only then will you be able to build a more satisfying sex life together, even after having a child. 

  • Two people can't desire the same amount of sex all the time – one of the reasons why people seek the aid of a sex therapist is discrepancies in desire. Sometimes one partner might not desire to engage in sexual acts, and only feel pressured into doing them. But this makes it feel more like an obligation, which will sooner or later backfire. Parents often fall into the trap of believing there is a certain amount of sex that they should have. The reality is that more often than not, there will be some sex desire discrepancies. At those times, it is important to remember that instead of troubling over how often partners should have sex, they should focus on enjoying the sex that they have. That way they will achieve the perfect balance. 

These are just a few of the most common issues that sex therapists deal with in regards to parents. 

 

© Zoe Clews & Associates

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text 2020-12-03 02:35
6 Complaints You Can Freely Share with a Sex Therapist

 

Seeing a sex therapist is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, more and more people are resorting to the services of one such, as they understand the benefits of working on their issues with someone has the knowledge and can provide the right answers. 

If you have never before considered sex therapy, perhaps it will be educational to find out more about what problems it can help with. Below are some of the major complaints that sex therapists hear from their clients: 

  • Inability to reach an orgasm – this problem is most common to women who report not being able to reach a climax the real way during intercourse. One thing that sex therapist know well to advise the men of these women is that they have to focus more on the clitoris, instead of the vagina. It is important to try out positions that enable better G-spot-penile contact, as that is often enough to fix the problem. 

  • Mismatched sexual desire in partners – when both partners have the so-called desire discrepancy, i.e. one partner wanting more sex than the other, things can quickly escalate in the relationship. In this case, the therapist may work with both partners to enable them to find the kind of sex that brings the right amount of excitement for both of them. In other cases, the expert may in fact reveal another problem that is at the root of this issue. Talking about these bothersome topics usually brings both partners together and makes them more inclined to resolve their differences. 

  • One partner wants to spice up the sex life – when a couple is in a committed relationship, their desires in the bedroom may evolve and change. Partners feel more comfortable with each other and may have a desire for novelty. If the other partner is not interested, it can spell trouble. Working with a sex therapist could allow the couples to see how open each of them is to compromise. Also, the therapist can find out whether there are any underlying tensions the couple is not discussing, or not even aware of, that may be leading to such an issue. 

  • Performance issues – men often experience performance problems, which are usually in the form of erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. They could lead to performance anxiety, which in turn can make them avoid intimacy and sex. The common therapy includes a focus on one’s own body and pleasure, rather than their partner, meaning that will worry less about what the other thinks of them. 

  • The need to feel more emotionally connected – a lot of people report the problem of not having any passion for sex and they want to change this. It usually happens to those who are past the period of their life where they are most interested in hook ups, and instead, want a committed relationship. The real problem is being able to successfully integrate love and sex, which is exactly what a sex therapist can help. 

  • Stuck in a sexless marriage – if a couple has found itself in a rut, sex is one of the first things that suffers. Work distractions, children care and other duties could take away much of their energy and free time. A sex therapist can initiate a talk between the partners, to have them explore the problem from a different perspective and find possible resolutions. 

These are all essential problems that both couples and individuals often discuss with a sex therapist. If you find yourself encountering any of them, don’t hesitate to contact an expert. 

 

© Zoe Clews & Associates

 

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text 2020-06-24 06:25
Get Professional Relationship Therapy in London

Are you finding it hard to stay in the relationship lately? Are things not working out in your bond? Don’t let these things ruin your partnership. We offer professional relationship therapy and counselling in London to help make things work again. Contact us today to know more about relationship therapy.

Source: gettingtheloveyouwant.co.uk
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