I have this little problem, and no, it's not my dining room. (The dining room is where I keep my Ebay stuff and it looks like a box factory and an estate sale collided and exploded in it) It's about books, specifically books intended for children, teens, YA.

THESE ARE THE BOOKS THAT I WANT TO BE PROPERLY WRITTEN.

I don't know how or when you all learned to read but I started very early. I always read above my grade level, I aced my spelling tests. In grades 1-6 we had spelling tests every week and I maybe misspelled three words in all that time. No joke. Why? Because I read.

I read good books, good in the sense that the words were properly spelled, the sentences were grammatically correct, the stories had a plot. A simplistic plot maybe but still a plot. The authors cared that they were writing for an audience that would take something away from their writing.

Classes were definitely easier because I could read, and read well. English classes were easier because I had learned by reading. Until I had to diagram, we won't go there and gerund is a dirty, six letter word to me.

I believe that if any author has a responsibility not to publish unreadable, misspelled, grammatically incorrect, plotless crap it is the author that writes a book for the above mentioned

groups.

So when I stumble over a Raani York (her book is listed in teens, YA), a Christin Lovell (make those words up as you go along), or a Pami L Wahl (who can spell her own name but not anything else) then, yes, I am going to leave a freaking 1 star on their crap.

I don't care if they are a sweet old lady, an upstanding church lady, a Vox Day, or just an over entitled whiner, they are going to get a I star and a pithy little description of their inadequacies.

Kids, teens, they all learn from what they read.

You want to write for minors- you got responsibilities. You want to write crap for minors- I hope I help make your next job asking someone if they want fries with their burger.

Cue pigeon.

Have you read the description? 304 pages of talking about their sex lives? And make no mistake, if they stop talking and start sexing it will be the most boring sex ever with repetitious screaming and scratching and talking, talking, talking, even during sex Hamilton keeps her cardboard characters talking.

304 pages of- talking, good freaking Lord.

(You all know Spence called me and demanded I remove or change my review and to tell my 19 other friends to stop talking about her or she would make sure my phone number was available to any friend, family member, or stranger on the street that wanted to call me and tell me I was crazy, right?)

Who knew my Kindle Unlimited subscription would come in handy so soon? Maggie Spence has been bitching that I reviewed Vardin Village without buying the book so I was delighted to download it.

Not surprisingly, it was awful. It was something below middle-grade masquerading as young adult and I buy books for my elementary school nieces, so I do know middle-grade. Spence seems to think that sprinkling references to texting, Facebook and Twitter is enough to make her book YA.

A typical passage and I haven't changed any punctuation or sentence structure:

Chief Quinn smiled. "Listen to your dad, Derrick, because you're in a lot of trouble. A witness to your fight with George Vardin came forward today. We'll be making arrangements for you to join us in the Vee Vee jail tonight. Oh, look. Here's my underpaid officers now." Two uniforms came in the front door, one had his cuffs ready to go. "This one here, Murphy." Quinn pointed to Derrick. "Read him his rights." 

 

The ending was particularly bad. There are cliché endings that can work and there are cliché endings that are hideous no matter who writes them. Vardin Village is an example of a cliché ending written by a terrible author.

In an eye-rolling scene, George, Morris and their Open Casting Call group of friends find George's grandfather's will in a super sekret hiding place and guess what? George's evil uncle, who had claimed the Vardin Village estate and the fortune was a Sneaky Lying Liar and it was really George who inherited with the condition that Morris oversee his inheritance until he turned eighteen. Shocking. And the Open Casting Call of friends all moved in and they lived happily ever after.

End Scene with an eye roll. Pass on this one. Seriously.

Who knew my Kindle Unlimited subscription would come in handy so soon? Maggie Spence has been bitching that I reviewed Vardin Village without buying the book so I was delighted to download it.

Not surprisingly, it was awful. It was something below middle-grade masquerading as young adult and I buy books for my elementary school nieces, so I do know middle-grade. Spence seems to think that sprinkling references to texting, Facebook and Twitter is enough to make her book YA.

A typical passage and I haven't changed any punctuation or sentence structure:

Chief Quinn smiled. "Listen to your dad, Derrick, because you're in a lot of trouble. A witness to your fight with George Vardin came forward today. We'll be making arrangements for you to join us in the Vee Vee jail tonight. Oh, look. Here's my underpaid officers now." Two uniforms came in the front door, one had his cuffs ready to go. "This one here, Murphy." Quinn pointed to Derrick. "Read him his rights." 

 

The ending was particularly bad. There are cliché endings that can work and there are cliché endings that are hideous no matter who writes them. Vardin Village is an example of a cliché ending written by a terrible author.

In an eye-rolling scene, George, Morris and their Open Casting Call group of friends find George's grandfather's will in a super sekret hiding place and guess what? George's evil uncle, who had claimed the Vardin Village estate and the fortune was a Sneaky Lying Liar and it was really George who inherited with the condition that Morris oversee his inheritance until he turned eighteen. Shocking. And the Open Casting Call of friends all moved in and they lived happily ever after.

End Scene with an eye roll. Pass on this one. Seriously.

*****WARNING: THIS AUTHOR IS ATTACKING READERS ON BOOKLIKES. PLEASE REPORT HER BEHAVIOR TO BL SUPPORT AND KEEP THIS SITE SAFE FOR READERS.*****

Who knew my Kindle Unlimited subscription would come in handy so soon? Maggie Spence has been bitching that I reviewed Vardin Village without buying the book so I was delighted to download it.

Not surprisingly, it was awful. It was something below middle-grade masquerading as young adult and I buy books for my elementary school nieces, so I do know middle-grade. Spence seems to think that sprinkling references to texting, Facebook and Twitter is enough to make her book YA.

A typical passage and I haven't changed any punctuation or sentence structure:

Chief Quinn smiled. "Listen to your dad, Derrick, because you're in a lot of trouble. A witness to your fight with George Vardin came forward today. We'll be making arrangements for you to join us in the Vee Vee jail tonight. Oh, look. Here's my underpaid officers now." Two uniforms came in the front door, one had his cuffs ready to go. "This one here, Murphy." Quinn pointed to Derrick. "Read him his rights." 

 

The ending was particularly bad. There are cliché endings that can work and there are cliché endings that are hideous no matter who writes them. Vardin Village is an example of a cliché ending written by a terrible author.

In an eye-rolling scene, George, Morris and their Open Casting Call group of friends find George's grandfather's will in a super sekret hiding place and guess what? George's evil uncle, who had claimed the Vardin Village estate and the fortune was a Sneaky Lying Liar and it was really George who inherited with the condition that Morris oversee his inheritance until he turned eighteen. Shocking. And the Open Casting Call of friends all moved in and they lived happily ever after.

End Scene with an eye roll. Pass on this one. Seriously.