Wrong email address or username
Wrong email address or username
Incorrect verification code
back to top
Search tags: that-s-my-nerve-you-re-standing-on
Load new posts () and activity
Like Reblog Comment
show activity (+)
review 2016-04-03 05:49
Review- Flea Market Fatal

It’s been a while since I read this so I went back to my notes and finally had to stop. The book just wasn’t worth all that much time and effort. Flea Market Fatal is the first in a series which just astonishes me because Missy DeMeanor is one of the most annoying characters I’ve ever read.


I almost stopped reading this book more than once because of the flaky, illogical behavior of either Missy or the supposed hero, Tyler Brock, or both. First of all Missy can’t decide if she is curvy or overweight so she has to mention her size every page or two. And when she isn’t doing that she is talking about every other characters size and usually comparing it to her own. It got old fast. Like by the end of chapter two. Then she also flip flops around emotionally faster than a crack addled mongoose (thank you, MJD). Maybe it’s no wonder that her mother just doesn’t tell her too much. ““To the woman who never tells me anything important.” Noreen looked at her sideways. “Out of love, Miss. Out of love.””


Missy is a shining 20 watt bulb in a 100 watt world at times, when Tyler questions her after looking at the dead man, “Missy couldn’t believe he was really asking her these questions. She looked into those blue eyes she had once found so gorgeous but now found so cold. She was amazed this was the same man she’d dated almost twenty years ago. He was a totally different person.” I’m not certain what is dumber, her not believing he would question her presence at the scene or her amazement that he had changed in twenty years. Just because Missy acts like a 15 yr old at times doesn’t mean everyone else should be as emotionally immature.


Of course she shouldn’t feel so alone because the EMT who shows up at the scene keeps trying to get Missy to go on a date with him while waiting to take the body away. He’s a definite winner.


The hero, Tyler Brock, has returned home to work on a small town police force and is not the most professional cop on the block. He seems to switch from professional to somewhat flirty personal at the drop of a doughnut, ““Was there anything else you wanted to ask me?” she said. He was still smiling. “A lot, actually. But none of it would be appropriate right now.””, and doesn’t seem to have a problem detaining someone overnight on the strength of a 20 yr old feud and no solid evidence. “Tyler nodded.

“I didn’t want it to come to this, but you gave me no choice.”” He says this to Missy as he takes her mother into custody. Um, since her mother was the one trying not to tell him anything why was it Missy’s fault?


Going back and rereading my notes I realize how negative this book is and how, well, dumb. “If the police think you did or they think they can close the case by pinning it on you, they will. Cops don’t like open murders on their books, especially in a small town like this.” And since Missy and Tyler dated in high school, “And the more she thought about it, the more Tyler had to suspect her. If he didn’t think of her as prime suspect, people would say it was because of their prior history. His credibility as a police officer would be shot. He almost had to come after her to stay above reproach.” No, if he is that close then he needs to hand over the case to someone else. I think the author really needed to do a little more research on police procedure.


Continuing with the negative mood of the book, “Once upon a time it had been a typical store with all the new releases and bestsellers but about a decade ago, it had shifted models and become a used bookstore. All the volumes were dusty, the pages yellowed, and most of the spines of the paperbacks were cracked.” It’s a wonder this shop is still in business. I frequent used bookstores and they are dust free with a large inventory of solid spined, white paged books. Yes, there are older books whose pages are ivory with age but even those are dust free.


There were some hiccoughs in the writing such as, “Without even realizing it at first, Missy put a hand on my belly. It was hanging over my jeans a little bit too much.” and “Her russet fur breezed as she raced to meet Missy.”, but these didn’t bother me as much as the annoying characters, their illogical behavior, and unrealistic actions.


If you want a cosy that bears any resemblance to normal this is not the book for you.

Like Reblog Comment
show activity (+)
review 2016-01-21 06:08
Review- The Witch Who Cried Wolf
The Witch Who Cried Wolf - Sarah Mäkelä

Ugh, this is one terrible book. I tried to DNF it but it was like a train wreck; I just couldn't tear myself away.


Mia is the heroine, a witch who is hiding her craft from everyone except one friend, another witch. She's a doormat, everything in this book happens because she can't say no. She sounds and acts like a twelve year old girl trying desperately to be liked by everybody. She harbors a schoolgirl crush on her brother's BFF, Ethan.


Guess who is the hero? A soldier on leave, Ethan returns to his hometown to spend the Christmas holidays with Nolan, his BFF, Nolan's parents who are like second parents to him, and Mia, who he harbors a schoolgirl crush on.


I say schoolgirl for Ethan also because while the author head hops between Mia and Ethan there is no discernable between them. They both sound like twelve year old girls.


From the very beginning the problems with this book were apparent. "Jessa's New Age shop--Eternally Magic-- was empty. Usually, Jessa was around. But, right now, she wasn't. I leaned against the front counter, resting my forehead against the cool glass. "-TWWCW Um, yeah. So she walks into her friend's shop and dithers around wondering where she is. It takes this doormat 5 paragraphs to do what any normal person would do- call out. And if she's leaning against the counter how can she be resting her forehead against the glass? Is she vertically challenged?

Then Mr Hot Guy walks in and Mia wonders why he's there and then is on edge because she can feel his power. He makes her nervous and hot and- "Mr Sexy scratched the back of his neck, causing his shirt to lift. My gaze skimmed his navel and part of the defined six-pack I'd known was hiding there. Somehow, knowing how hot he was under his shirt calmed my nerves a little. Surely, he was fine." - TWWCW Since when does a six-pack make a guy less dangerous? Single cell amoeba have better reasoning powers than this limp dishcloth.


Turns out Jessa, her friend and mentor, has thrown Mia to the wolves, so to speak, by volunteering her to make Mr Sexy a potion for his injured friend. Jessa knows nothing about Mr Sexy and Mia doesn't know a whole lot about her craft but, hey, what's a friend for if not to volunteer you to make a potion for an unknown someone with a mysterious case of poisoning? "...I couldn't stay mad at my best friend. That would just make the whole situation worse."- TWWCW What a wimp.

Not only a wimp but she has a jerk for a boyfriend that she really isn't fond of but it's just before Christmas and she doesn't want to not have "someone" for the holidays. "Was I as thrilled about the relationship as much as Greg was? No. But I didn't have it in my heart to break his before Christmas."- TWWCW Break his heart? Two pages back he cancelled a date and the first thing she thinks of is he's having an affair.

Logical thinking has no place in this book.


Enter Ethan, our hero, he combines the best of both a twelve year old girl and a jerk. Mia has to pick him up at the airport because her brother pushed the job off on her and won't answer his phone. He's a jerk, too. Ethan isn't happy to see her because he has the hots for her. His first words to Mia are, "What are you doing here?" What a charmer.

After an attack in the airport parking garage by a (were)wolf with Mia tossing fireballs around, Ethan can't bring himself to believe that it was a werewolf or even a wolf and he wonders if she's on drugs. But still he is turned on by an injured and distressed woman while bleeding from his own wounds and barking out orders and demands.

"Besides I wasn't the type of guy to use force with a girl, especially not this one." -TWWCW Oh, really? He demands she tell him what really happened, asks if she's on drugs, says she was always imaginative, asks what she is, locks the car doors, grabs her wrist, threatens to tie her up, threatens to drag her out of the car. I guess coercion is okay though.


If this isn't enough to discourage you there is still the breakup with the jerk boyfriend, the whole werewolf problem, the obligatory sex scene, and an ending that just sort ended without much resolution to anything.

Two less attractive main characters would be hard to find, not impossible, but definitely hard.

Like Reblog Comment
show activity (+)
text 2016-01-12 15:30
Dear Open Books...

Grim wasn't the only one:

53 minutes ago


Dear Owned by Cats Spare Ammo blog Author :-)

We would like to invite you to take a look into Stanley Laine crime series, loved by our readers.
100% satisfaction guaranteed, as eBooks are available in open download. Our whole bookstore operates in Pay-What-You-Want-after-reading model.
Stanley Laine is an Indie Author who is one of most brilliant we ever read. His crime series about Philippa K. Dick investigations is adored by our readers and rated averagely 5 to 5 stars. I hope you will also enjoy.
If you would be so kind to publish a review on your blog, we reciprocate by promoting your blog in our social media channels. We want to help the talented author, who is also a man of a great heart and supports PWYW and economy of trust and makes his books available for everybody. By reviewing his books, you can help too. We would be very, very thankful.

The books are available here:

With kind regards,
Monika, OpenBooks.com Team


Dear Open Books,


You have seriously fucked up. Have you paid any attention to what posters on BL like and dislike? Let me give you a clue; this is the kind of thing that gets you unfollowed, unfriended, and unread.


You must have missed so many of us posting about our dislike of Spam and I don't mean the product you find on a grocery shelf. I mean your email. You just followed me this morning so forgive my cynicism if I think it was so you could spam me and I really dislike that behavior. If you only followed me to spam your damned book, too bad for you. I'm going to block you.


You must have missed our expressed opinions of authors and/or publishers reviewing their own books in the manner you did. You can promote your book and call it the best ever, innovative, etc., but to review it in the way you did is tacky and, to my mind, dishonest.


Successful author/publishers listen to their community. They build relationships that have nothing to do with selling their book and everything to do with everything books. They make friends and build a network and when they launch a new book guess who is there for them?


But I'm not going to tell you how to run your business except to say, run it somewhere else not in my feed, not in my email.


Very shortly you might find yourself distressingly alone here or at least with fewer followers than you have now, 68 at the moment. I hope my little note will help you understand why. The pity of it is you should have known better to begin with.


Don't even try to excuse yourself.


Mahala Burlingame

38 Caliber Reviews

Spare Ammo


P.S. 12 days into 2016 and how much shit has hit the fan already?





Like Reblog Comment
show activity (+)
text 2015-02-05 14:26
Bingo is Better with Friends

[reblogged from 38 Caliber Reviews]


I had a few more screenshots and a few more things to say.


A lot of bloggers/reviewers are talking about their reactions to Amy Spalding’s bingo card. It’s not a surprise that most of those reactions are negative, except to Spalding and her friends. What you all may or may not realize is that Spalding didn’t do this on her own, no, she asked for contributions.


Screenshot (5376)


That’s right, she asked and oh, so many were happy to contribute.


Screenshot (5377)



Melissa, if it’s that bad you really don’t want me to finish it, I’ll just have that much more to criticize- if I stop at page 50, that could mean the book miraculously improved after I stopped. If I read to the end, well, then the reader will definitely know if it didn’t. Think of that DNF as a reviewer’s gift to you.


Screenshot (5379)


Isn’t this wonderful? So many authors so grateful for reviews, wait, no, so ungrateful for the reviews they got because they weren’t the ones they wanted. Deserved maybe, but not wanted.


Screenshot (5380)




We could just not buy, read, or review your books. Would that make you happy? Didn’t think so.


Screenshot (5369)


And her friends obliged.


Screenshot (5375)


“I wanted this book to have a solid plot and intelligent characters, alas, the writer seems to be incapable of that.” I don’t know, I think that calls for one star.  And the swearing, drinking, and sex- over or under the age of 18? Some people have a problem if those characters are underage.

Screenshot (5383)

Mm hmm, now just who is the idiot here? I’m going with the author calling reviewers idiots, yeah, cause doing so in public where readers can see it isn’t a jaw-droppingly bone-headed move. Not at all.


Screenshot (5378)



Yes, we read your little project. We are not amused but some of your friends certainly are.


Screenshot (5381)

Screenshot (5384)


So it wasn’t just Amy being struck by a bolt of creative lightning while eating her Quarter Pounder or Baconator. No, Amy collected her little McNuggets from her friends, none of them being smart enough to ask why she wanted them and then set to work. When people pointed out that reviewers weren’t amused but were offended or appalled by her inspirational (to certain authors) bingo card, Spalding showed all the sensitivity of a thick plank.


Screenshot (5382)



And I’m not saying you’re bad either, Amy. This is bad, and this, and this. Now do you have any inkling why we aren’t amused? Do you understand how this affects your relationship with reviewers/bloggers? Do you understand that your little bingo card isn’t making things better? Doesn’t encourage reviewers to want to read your books or those of your enthusiastic and appreciative friends and contributors?


Yes, yes, I can hear you now, protesting that you were just having fun and nothing on your card is anything like what I linked to but, Amy, all that happened in those links is on your card, all that started with an author thinking about B4 or N2 or anything else on your card or in their head.


How well do you really know the people who contributed? Do you know if they were just lightly tossing you a pet peeve or if they have 345 guns in their basement next to the freezer holding their spouse, the troublesome neighbor, and the Sunday roast? Do you know? We don’t either.


And that’s why we’re backing slowly away and crossing you off the TBR lists. We. Don’t. Know. And we aren’t willing to take the chance that you or one of your friends will decide to call us or email us (at best) or lurk in the shrubbery or bash us on the head (at worst).


I hear you deleted your tweet but why? It’s still there, retweeted by laughing authors and appalled reviewers everywhere. It’s there, you’re there, I’m there, and so is everybody and some of them are writing a book. Then we read it and the first thing we (now) have to think about is- who is this author?


But that’s another blog.




For Paige, and Blythe, and Linda


Like Reblog Comment
show activity (+)
text 2015-02-04 22:40
Amy Spalding Meets the Pigeon

[reblogged from 38 Caliber Reviews]


Screenshot (4483)This is my little pigeon friend, I think he’s quite handsome, don’t you? He made his first appearance for that now absent Snowflake Princess, Raani York. I wanted something to visually express my – distaste-, I guess you could say, for her all too obvious manipulation of people and situations to her advantage.


The pigeon sprang to mind because, well, of what springs to mind when you think of or see a pigeon. What has this to do with author Amy Spalding you ask? Wellllll, Spalding is just the latest author who has jumped on the “let me make a total ass of myself” promotion bandwagon.


Now let me be clear, Spalding has some excellent and some not so excellent company. I don’t fault her, in a way, for believing she has picked a winning strategy. In case you have been offline or on a deadline or just totally absorbed in a really good book, here’s what little Amy tweeted yesterday.


How- precious. Now, if you aren’t an author or if you aren’t an author with an intelligence deficit, you might be wondering whatever possessed her. Did she not consider what might happen when she blithely tweeted this? I think she not only considered it, she was counting on it.


Screenshot (5341)

Screenshot (5311)

OMG, dear readers, all seven of you, we took hours, hours to get mad at her. I feel like I should apologize, could someone tell me if being late for a reaction to a tweet by an author that none of my friends or myself recognize is worse than being late for a dinner at the White House? I feel positively guilty for not finding this little gem sooner. My only excuse has to be that my little feathered friend and his friends found it first.


Screenshot (4482)


Ye-ah, it’s hard to see it through all that, uh, pigeon poop. And it’s hard to separate her poop from the pigeons’, because poop (being polite here) is what this is. So I had to wonder why an author who had two books already on the market would resort to this poopy ploy (say it fast three times).


Screenshot (5344)


Look, she’s got a book coming out in April. Got to get her name out there somehow. I would say she’s a little on the early side but maybe she’s hoping to generate some sympathy buys for her two previous books.


Screenshot (5345)


Her first book has 47 reviews with an average of 4.0 and her second, oops, only 17 reviews with a 3.6 average on Amazon. Now over on GR


Screenshot (5313)


we see what really is Spalding’s problem. Her first book, TRML (initials, not giving her any more promotion than necessary to make my point), has 282 reviews with a 3.88 rating. Most of the complaints are about her lead character(s). Readers didn’t like her/them much. Her second book, ITTW, has 81 reviews, big drop there, and a 3.66 rating and readers are still not liking her main characters(s).


Something went wrong for Spalding, a significant drop in reviews between books and a lot of the same complaints about what readers didn’t like. Still, her books are above the midpoint and I know a lot of authors that would pay good money for, kill, appreciate having that many reviews.


Screenshot (5342)


Whatever her reasons Spalding has chosen the public, reviewer/blogger chastising, no-really it’s all in fun potential career killer approach. So many reviewers, so not amused. Spalding’s books go on our “not now, not ever” lists or shelves because there are so many authors who want and deserve reviews so why should we waste our time with the ones that feel our time is worth nothing more than being used for a cheap laugh and bonding moment between authors who feel we don’t appreciate them and if it makes the author/reviewer situation worse, or at least not any better, I’m sure that Spalding and her friends just don’t give a pigeon poop.


I’ve read the posters who can’t believe that any reviewer could be offended by Spalding’s tweet, the ones that agree with her bingo card, the ones that try to persuade  me it was all in good fun.


You know what, I’ve had enough “fun” from authors in the past year, and I know I’m not the only one. How could any author, any author, look at the uncertain and at times downright hostile and sometimes (and sometimes is too many times) frightening relationships between themselves and bloggers/reviewers and believe that posting something like this anywhere public is just so damned cute?


I wish that authors who feel that this is the best way to generate buzz and sales would suffer from permanent writer’s block, they all seem to want the same things – good reviews for usually bad or indifferent writing, admiration and recognition for their slightest effort, veto power over critical reviews, reviewers as beta readers and editors.


You don’t want to read another review that criticizes your unlikeable or unbelievable characters, your weak plots, the Texas-sizes plot holes, the grammar and spelling? Then spend your lunch hours or your evenings improving your skills.

Some readers/reviewers/ bloggers are going to be thinking just like this


Screenshot (5343)

Until that time, here’s what I think of your “something great”.


Screenshot (4483)

More posts
Your Dashboard view:
Need help?