1. Mind Fuck: A brilliant, stand alone book. Dystopian, erotica, gay and bisexual. Introduces Toreth (my favourite) and Warrick (the very near runner up).

2. Quid Pro Quo: Oh, look it's a series now, and maybe somewhat a misstep considering the rest of the series, but it and the shorts after are important for the characters and their development. Really, you need to read this in order to get to...

3. Games & Players: Hey, we're back to what really matters, that is to say there's more Warrick and Torreth. And then there's Carnac, who you love to hate except when you forget the love part. But honestly, we all end up thanking Carnac in the end. Truly.

4. Control: Oh, look we're back to character development and it's weighty in substance. Try counting the ways the title could reference to the content.

5. Quis Custodiet: This is the one that fades from memory, mostly because Control was so much better. At 33 I understand the characters a bit better than I did at 31, and so the ending isn't *as* bad as it was the first time I read it.

6. First Against the Wall: My. Favourite. It's all about showing the love, and suffering, but mostly all about the love. And suffering. Carnac's back. And you'll thank him again. I promise. Sort of.

7. For Certain Values of Family: It's in the top three with Mind Fuck and First Against the Wall. The series just keeps getting better and it's lovely to know that all those earlier books actually lead up to a payoff. Of sorts. Because this is not the end...

+ Book 8: Blood & Circuses. I need to start that.

A series reread before I get to the new book. I've missed Toreth and this world so much.

'He turned his head. Her eyes were only an inch away from his.

He wanted to kiss her, but instead he just said, 'Let's go.'

YES. Someone with common sense! there in a dangerous situation so you know whats a terrible idea? kissing passionately. you know what is a good idea, running like hell!!
How does a 14 (?) yr old boy, while fighting off all his teenage hormones have more brains in his head than every other female adult character i have read from?!? please tell me cause my mind is boggled right now.

***This review has also been posted on The Social Potato

HOLY FUCKING CRAP
OMG
I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT I FEEL RIGHT NOW.
WHAT IS THIS BOOK?
WHAT IS LIFE?

DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? I AM WRITING THIS IN ALL CAPS. MY EMOTIONS ARE A MESS.

A couple days later, I am no longer as much of a mess. I feel slightly more normal and am more capable of putting together my thoughts regarding this piece of work.

BUT SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK?

This was my first novel by Kuehn and I KNOW I am coming back for more.

I think what really interests me about this novel is how it is totally a 'mind-fuck' novel but not in a way that completely twists your mind into a pretzel. The mind-fuckery is more toned down in a way that makes it so that you don’t even see it coming and when it does, you’re just left standing there, in the rain, all by yourself, contemplating life and what this book has made of it.

This book is the also looks at mental illnesses in a very interesting manner. It’s not the lighter, fluffier ways of dealing with mental illness that I am used to. This book looks at the dark and depressing side of mental illnesses.

One of the best things about this book is the characters and the detail Kuehn puts into developing their characters (or rather unfolding their fucked-up-ness.)

My only real complaint is that while I did enjoy the vague bits in the novel, I also thought the novel could be a little too vague at some points. To the point where it had me questioning what was going on in the novel, but not in a good way.

This is a beautifully, well written book that I would definitely recommend to those who are fans of mind-fuck books that will leave them questioning everything they read.

***This review has also been posted on The Social Potato

It would seem that 2015 is the year of all the fantastic books because here I am, finding yet another favorite. This book is gorgeously, frightengly written and it will find a way to creep inside your heart and hold it hostage. I make this book sound scary and believe me, it is.

I don’t read a lot of books that deal with mental illness because admittedly, I am a chicken but this book called to me. I don’t know if it was the cover, or how the synopsis spoke of an adventure to the deep trenches (oh how I adore my adventures!). Whatever it was, I am glad that I decided to bite the bullet and read this, no matter how scared I was, because I would be missing out on a beautiful piece of work.

I know there are many times I’ve said that I don’t know how I to start describing or book or put my feelings down on paper but I don’t think it’s been more true ever before. I keep trying to think of where I want to start talking about the actual book but I feel so insufficient, I don’t think anything I can say is enough for this beautiful gorgeous book and the sensitivity with which Neal dealt with something as delicate as mental illness.

Neal masterfully switches between two different timelines, the ‘real’ one and the ‘imaginary’ one. But really, what is real and imaginary? His use of second person in certain chapters was so gorgeous and almost moved me to tears. It really helped readers see Caden slowly spiraling out of control and it was heartbreaking.

I couldn’t not talk about this book while reading it. I had to stop and read some pieces outloud to my friends just to have someone understand the emotional journey this book was taking me on and how terrifying it was!

Neal makes Caden such a believable character and it’s impossible not to root for him. We see him muddled as a result of the drugs that he is given, we see him when the lines between reality and the imaginary start blurring and we see him coherent. I think what makes Caden so incredibly fantastic to read about is that even within all these various phases we see him in, nothing can strip him of what makes him, him. Which is what makes it all the more heartbreaking to see him in this muddled state where he floats in and out of reality, seeing things that aren’t there.

What also makes Caden’s character so effective is that Neal never attempts to diagnose Caden, he mentions certain illness’ but he never really gives us a confirmed diagnosis, so those of us who are curious cats can rest in peace and continue to enjoy the story but still don't necessarily know what is going on with Caden. I don’t think it’s important to know Caden's diagnosis though. Neal does a fantastic job of showing you what is going on with Caden that giving a name to what is happening to him wouldn’t really change anything.

Neal so fantastically develops the secondary characters as well and what made me especially happy was that Caden’s parents weren't shown as the bad guys! Maybe they could have caught on earlier but it is clear that they only want what is best for their son. They don’t abandon him to deal with this illness on his own. They are there, trying to help him even if they aren’t sure what is the best way of dealing with the situation on hand.

That said, the secondary characters are not a huge part of this novel. The book remains Caden’s story and nothing can change that.

I also absolutely ADORED the parallels between the real and imaginary worlds and it really helped readers see how hard it was for Caden to cling to reality in those moments. We see things in the real world that we had only seen in the imaginary world before and things click. Through the imaginary world, we really get to see aspects of the situation we might not have in the real world and it broke my heart.

I will admit that this book was a little confusing at the beginning but when the parallels made themselves more evident, I really started enjoying the book.  I don't think that everything is meant to make sense right away because we are being immersed within the mind of someone suffering from a mental illness. It's why I never saw my confusion as a bad thing.

This is a skilfully written novel and one I will not be forgetting anytime soon. Neal knows exactly what he is doing. Caden’s journey is beautiful to read about and while I know that this is not a book for everyone, it is still one I would want more people to read because of how important it is. So, if you’re scared, don’t be, there is a good chance you’ll fall head over heels for this gorgeous book, just like I did.