Not That Easy (Virgin #2) by Radhika Sanghani

Ellie used to be a virgin, but now she’s a woman with sexual experience. Well, some sexual experience. She also has debt, an unpaid magazine internship, and three flatmates who left her with the single room to match her single status.
That’s okay. She doesn’t want a boyfriend anyway—she wants several. And if the sex is exciting enough, her ruthless magazine editor boss can exploit her dating life for a column.
After countless hook-ups, a disastrously fiery encounter with some heat lube, and one orgasm class, Ellie is faced with the sad reality of her sexual ineptitude. But when she starts to witness the emotional wreckage she’s leaving in her wake, Ellie realizes that sex can be hard, and there’s a down side to giving it up too easy.

My Review:
Not that easy wasn't bad, it wasn't great but there were a few chuckles. Not That Easy will suit many readers stuck in the pre-self realization stage or in the transition of self realization. It raises a few interesting debates on the Slut topic and the topic of understanding the transition of going from a person discovering sexuality to discovering the complexities of understanding where the line of relationship and sex converge. All in all Not that Easy was a decent read.


My Rating:
3 Stars


Reviewed By: Krissy's Bookshelf Reviews
http://kkmalott.booklikes.com/

Note: I received a print copy in exchange for an honest review from Berkley/NAL/Penguin

4 stars!  #NotThatEasy  @PenguinBooks  @radhikasanghani

First of all, this was one of the funniest books I've read in a long time. This poor girl just wants to give it away and can't find a taker. There were so many laughs in here. And nothing, I mean NOTHING is censored. The author spells it all out for you. Ellie even goes to a class to learn how to achieve an orgasm. I didn't even know they had those!

The poor girl is so naive that when she does get a boyfriend, she doesn't even know it. She just thinks it's an awfully long one night stand. Her dating antics are hilarious though. I thought I had some bad dates back in the day. I can't even compete with this poor girl, not that I would want to.

This is a great book for all women, even those not even dating, because it's just down right funny. You'll either learn something or remember something, or maybe both. I recommend this book for a great laugh!

Thanks Penguin/NAL and Net Galley for providing me with this free e-galley in exchange for an honest review. It was definitely entertaining!

If you don’t take this book seriously it is a fun fast paced read. A book that openly talks about dating, drinking, sex, masturbation, reproductive organs, body fluids, etc. in the college environment. Clearly a book for the college audience. But I am past my college years and even though I can’t deny that it had its funny parts, the final message or the concept of the novel ended up bothering more than I thought making it only an OK read (2 stars). But I’ll get to that later.

 

The synopsis sounded fun but what made me decide to read this book was JOAN RIVERS (may she rest in peace). I mean if a comedian like Ms. Rivers recommends this book, it must be something funny that can be missed. Kudos to the marketing people for getting Ms. Rivers’ quote.

 

Virgin is the story of Ellie Kolstakis, a 21-year-old senior in college who holds an embarrassing-to-her secret: she is a virgin and it absolutely shames her to be one.

Ellie blames her virginity on her “controlling” parents, her plain looks, and a boy named James Martell who had the sense of telling her that her first time should be special and that he was not going to be the one to ruin it for her. Somehow that traumatized her and she never did anything to change the status of her hymen after that.

 

But now that she’s a senior she decides it’s her last chance to change that once and for all. So she makes it her goal to lose her virginity before graduation. I usually write spoiler free reviews but with this one I can’t. Long-story short, she finally has sex with the wrong guy and ends up getting chlamydia, which she thinks is fine and dandy because she finally can have the words “sexually active” on her medical records, she can “happily” ask for an STD test on her doctor’s appointment and “everybody has it”.

 

Like I said in the beginning of this review, if you don’t take this book seriously you can find yourself reading ridiculous things about drinking, dating, sex, penises,  shaving/waxing pubic hair, watching porn, etc. Things the target audience of this book would utterly enjoy and laugh about. The language is simple and straight to the point; the first person narration makes it easy to read. The characters are the classic characters of a sex comedy like American Pie with the slight difference that they are all British.

 

As for me, most of the time, I didn’t know if I was supposed to feel sorry for Ellie or laugh at the things she went through. There were some fun things to read, her reference to Chaka Khan after she finally lost her virginity was of course fun but there was some ridiculous things that sound too impossible for a 21-year-old of our times to go through, and there was stuff like a bathroom incident that was rather disgusting to read.

 

Even though Ellie’s adventures to losing her virginity were written as a comedy, the author ended up making Ellie look dumb, desperate and utterly irresponsible.

 

First of all, Ellie thinks that being a virgin is a tragic deplorable thing for a 21 year-old “woman”. What kind of sex ed did this girl get? For a senior in college, hasn’t she had plenty of time to go on the internet and do research on virginity to get her ideas straight?

 

Second, her reason for losing her virginity is stupid. This girl is obsessed on losing her “V plate” because she wants her medical records to say that she is sexually active and she needs to be able to get tested for STD’s, like she’s abnormal because she can’t request an STD test. She’d rather get and embrace STD’s than be a virgin:

Embrace any STDs you may or may not have, along with the regrets, the disastrous stories, the heartbreak, the pain and the regret. Because if it weren’t for all this stuff, life would be pretty dull. – From Virgin by Radhika Sanghani

What is the matter with this author and publishing company? Who in their right mind would let young readers think that it is a normal rite of passage to get STD’s because without them your life is dull? Any disease is an abnormal condition with serious life altering consequences. STD’s are not to be taken ever so lightly.

 

Third, Ellie’s concept of virginity and the loss of it. The whole point of her mission was to have her hymen penetrated by a male sexual organ for the first time, but before that happens she fingers herself ends up losing her virginity to herself because she thought it would be “so embarrassing” to bleed on your first time. Oh and let’s not forget that she had previously blogged about inserting a bullet and how bad it felt. Yes, I had to be that graphic but there was no other way of saying it (and it is described in detail in the book, in an almost step by step way). Anyway, how dumb is this character?

 

Fourth, the Vagina-Vulva Conundrum: I think we need to get something straight and stop using the word vagina to refer to the vulva. I know it’s the colloquial use of the word but this has gone far enough in society. Besides, if the author is writing a book in which sexuality is a main subject, the correct use of words is a must, especially when probably the majority of readers of this book are not only reading this because it’s fun but because they probably expect to get more knowledge on sex by reading this book. The author constantly refers to shaving or waxing vaginas. As far as I know, you don’t have any pubic hair on your vagina. How can you shave or wax your vagina? If waxing your vulva is painful, I can’t imagine the torture it would be to try to shave or wax your insides. Oh and don’t get me started on the reasons she had for waxing, it was not about her but about what she thought men want or think. *eyeroll*

 

I could keep going but I’ve already exceeded my 1000 word limit for my reviews so I’ll start to wrap it up.

 

The good part of this book is that it talks about “taboo-ish” topics that should be talked more often and more openly so we don’t end up with a world full of idiotic misinformed 21-year-olds like Ellie. The bad is that it is full of wrong ideas that the younger population will take the wrong way if they don’t have the proper guidance. So as far as recommending this book, I’d say it is for the college audience, who are old enough to see beyond the ridiculousness and will just read this book for the laughs. Of course, because of the sexual subject, there would be a lot of teenagers attracted to this book, young minds who should not read this book without proper parental guidance.

 

With this review I’m not saying do not read this book. On the contrary, I hope that those who actually finish reading this book don’t find Ellie’s character relatable. I hope readers learn important lessons out of Ellie’s ridiculously stupid mistakes. I hope that if there are virgins reading this book, they

 

1. get motivated to research more about sexuality,

2. understand that losing your virginity is a personal choice not an obligation or something that must be done for the sake of it, and

3. learn to make sexual decisions that will keep you above all HEALTHFUL, SAFE and happy forever.

 

 

Buy on Amazon US

Buy on Amazon UK

 

 

 

DISCLOSURE STATEMENT

I received aN Electronic copy of this book but was not financially compensated in any way nor obliged to review. The opinions expressed are my own and are based on my personal experience while reading it. This post contains affiliate links

 

 

When I started this book, I thought it would be a mature, light, chick-lit kind of book. I thought it would be honest and fun. So here’s the deal, it wasn’t mature, light or fun, or even (I don’t think) honest. I don’t even want to spend a lot of time on this so close to the end of the year; in a year when I read dozens of books so much better than this.

 

To be fair, it started out with what I thought was an engaging main character. She was interesting in her vulnerability, and had a terrific sense of humor. But after page upon page dwelling on the same one-dimensional topic, I realized that losing her virginity was the least of her problems. I thought I would relate to this main character, but I was brutally reminded that I am no longer 20-something, and I am not a person who shares the miniscule details of my life with the public at large. This was probably one of the most intimately-detailed, graphic books I’ve ever read about sex, and ironically, it was one of the most boring. I literally forced myself to finish it, only because I like to be fair in my reviews and consider the entire work. I kept hoping it would get better, but it never did. Because I read it on the kindle, I wasn’t sure how long it was. When I saw the page count was 304, I couldn’t believe it; it felt like a thousand.

 

So, if you are in your twenties, still a virgin, and looking for a very detailed self-help manual, have at this. For anyone else, you will get more satisfaction out of an issue of Cosmo, and you won't have wasted as much time as I did reading this book.

Disclaimer: I was given a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

 

Trigger Warning: There is a transphoic comment at the start of the book that implies misgendering transwomen. Ellie says some homophobic microagressions to a gay man who is her friend and a few bits of internalized racism. She also is openly confused about what is or isn't feminist, sometimes getting it wrong, but there are some genuine moments when she gets it right. And she even comes to some very spot on conclusions about misogyny in mainstream culture.

 

Over all none of these missteps ruined my reading experience, but that absolutely could ruin it for some if they read without prior knowledge.

 

Review Proper

I wasn't sure what to expect when I got this book from NetGalley and at first I was rolling my eyes at the Ellie referred to her vagina as a VJ and how convinced she was that a STD test was the height of maturity. But after the first chapter I gave myself a hard slap to the face, because I was being WAY too harsh.

 

See, I was 19 when I had sex with a man for the first time, i.e. what mainstream heteronormative culture considers "loosing your virginity." It was messy, hilariously ridiculous circumstances, and I can still remember being so determined to get it over with because like Ellie I was sure it would make me some how better. Ugh. The lies we tell ourselves. So once I knocked myself off my sexually experienced high-horse I was able to really relate to Ellie and then as the book went on I REALLY identified with Ellie to the point I was shrinking so far into myself with mortification that at one point I became a human turtle. Oh yeah, so been there.

 

Virgin is great. Well written, funny, and very relevant to our time. Even thought the protagonist is a virgin she is frank about her body, and sex. I really appreciated how detailed she was in all the many adventures she had with four play, masturbation, body hair, and all the things we rarely see young women deal with in an honest, authentic way.

 

Ellie is funny, earnest, and I think a lot of women of many ages can relate to her confusion and struggles. I found her determination to be so refreshing. She was scared some times, and hesitated, but in the end she pushed through it to get what she wanted. That alone sold me on the book.

 

I especially could related to her as a woman of color. Ellie deals with so many things that are unique to being a WOC. Everything from thick, epic amounts of body hair that resists removal. Feeling fat and unattractive in comparison to your thin, blonde, white female friends. [spoiler]Not to mention having most white men not even see you as more than a friend or buddy, even when they're fucking you. (Yeah, that was my human turtle moment, it still stings a bit).[spoiler]

 

This isn't the kind of a book I usually pick up, but it was well worth venturing out of my comfort zone. I recommend this to fans of the Bridge Jones diaries, Jane Austen, and anyone looking for New Adult novels that focus more on realistic female experiences. This is not a romance, but rather a New Adult coming of age story. I really wish there were more books like this in that genre.

 

This is a solid 3.5 stars for me, a good book that I enjoyed, but found a few problematic bits.