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review 2015-05-23 07:05
Sentence: This book is bad and you should feel bad
Skinny Bitch: A No-Nonsense, Tough-Love Guide for Savvy Girls Who Want to Stop Eating Crap and Start Looking Fabulous! - Rory Freedman,Kim Barnouin



"You are eating high blood pressure, stress, and adrenaline. You are eating fear, grief, and rage. You are eating suffering, horror, and murder. You are eating cruelty. You are what you eat. You cannot be thin, beautiful with a glowing complexion when you eat fear, grief and rage"



*I'm mentally slapping the shallow, selfish author so hard*


Ok, I took a break from my crazy life to read this annoying piece of shit. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for vegan diets. It's an interesting concept and I'll gladly learn something about it. If you like that too, do yourself a favour and stay the fuck away from the 'skinny bitch'. Stick with Dr. Neal Barnard or Dr John McDougall or whoever tickles your noodle.

See something interesting about those guys? Yes, they're actual doctors who have spend decades on research. Who's Rory Freedman? Fuck me if I know. She's not even on wikipedia (that's low). That's just the tip of the iceberg. A small, inconsequential thing. After all, one can possess knowledge without having a degree, so I won't write you off just yet. But having no qualifications on top of, well, EVERYTHING makes me even more pissed. It made me so pissed I've felt the need to review a book even though I barely have time to sleep and eat.

What's the phenomenon of this little atrocity? I'll never understand.

In short:
- it's annoying
- the science is wrong (or incomplete) far too often
- there's little substantial content
(half a book is a filler, really. Just a list of vegan products. Half. A. Book.)

There, if you don't feel like reading my long-ass rant, that's all you have to know.



THE TONE:

Rory, "your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!". Fuck you!

This book tries to be sassy and bad-ass. Instead it comes off assy and just bad. It's insulting, boring and enraging at the same time. Congratulations!

I guess the bitch wanted to be cool, like Larry Winget cool. She failed. Miserably. Do you know why, Rory? Because he was careless, aloof, sarcastic but generally laid-back. Whereas you are prissy, pestering, whiny, overconfident, disrespectful, 'superior' and ignorant.

It's the combination of superiority and disregard for others combined with ignorance that gives you that special 'dumb, self absorbed bimbo at the mall' effect. It doesn't make you sound cool and sassy. It makes you sound obnoxious.

When you speak with such sense of superiority and self-righteousness AND manage to get the facts wrong... I've almost quit on the first few pages. Insufferable.



THE FACTS:

I'm not an expert. I poses only 'an approximate knowledge of many things'. However, sometimes I go a bit nutty and start digging.

Some of the facts were just... wrong. Or only half right. Now, I've noticed it at parts concerning topics I'm more familiar with. The rest seemed to make some sense, BUT (!) this is what scares me. Cause if I knew less I might have just bought into some of this... this shit. There's no other way to put it.

She knows nothing, she quotes nothing (no studies, no authorities), and she says things even I know to be incorrect.



THE CONTENT:

Is nothing. Half of the book is some shitty product list. HALF. Like I can't go to a store and have a looksie. You've made me pay for shitty content. And I know why you've done it. You got paid for every single worthless word. Yes, why not list a product, a brand, a particular name and a store. Now repeat 800 times? With all the respect, go fuck yourself with a sharp stick.





THE ETHICS:

This I think she gets quite right. Not totally, but hey. History and morality and politics part is decent. It's even interesting.

However, even that is spoiled with inappropriate remarks. You just can't go from describing inhumanities of a slaughterhouse, diseased animals, cannibalism, mutilation, torture, puss, hormones and pesticides to something as shallow as 'your skinny ass'. There's time and place for everything. And this bitch misses the mark so hard she could be a stormtrooper.

How can you write about the transport conditions, about how (apparently) US has no regulations, so animals travel in trucks full of their own shit and piss. And when it's cold their feet freeze to the floor and then they are just violently ripped off, often resulting in injury. Sometimes even a leg will be torn off. And after something like that you speak about glowing complexion?! WTF is wrong with you?!

No, it doesn't make you sassy and cool. It makes you a self-obsessed piece of shit. I read this, and in my mind I see a blond, bleached woman with fake tan, fake nails, fake boobs, heavy make up, wearing a slutty outfit, chewing gum and rolling her eyes as she proceeds to ponder complexities of life. Such as 'OMG, I don't care my boyfriend's mother had an accident. I mean, she's not dead! And we were supposed to go to this expensive restaurant. How can he be so selfish and, like, not take me! We've been waiting for 2 months!'








*Bonus round! Factual fallacies I've noticed and still remember!

essential amino-acids (aka protein)



This is so basic I can't even... EVERY SINGLE PLANT CONTAINS ALL ESSENTIAL AMINO ACIDS! There. I've said it. Don't believe me? Go to wikipedia, check the 9 acids. Go to any site about nutrition and start checking. Any plants. I've spend hours looking for a plan that wouldn't have them all and couldn't do it. Even fucking lettuce, damn it.

So, variety is covered. Quantity? Bitch, there's no such thing as protein deficiency. It just doesn't fucking exist (apart from people who are starving) If you eat enough calories, you get enough protein. We need very little. Think about it, have you EVER heard a bout someone getting sick or being taken to a hospital upon which they were diagnosed with a protein deficiency? Eating vegan you will, by default, consume more than you need.

If you don't know that, you're not qualified to talk about nutrition. EVER. Not even with your friends during brunch. Much less write a book about food and eating. Fuck off.

*Read a story about where currently popular standards for protein consumption came. You'll be amazed by the power of bullshit.




Sugar = fat.



No, it doesn't. Fat = fat. Have you EVER read a paper on how fat, sugar and protein are dealt with in our bodies? What differences there are?

Let me tell you, your body does NOT readily turn sugar into fat. The process is not efficient. The loss of energy is about 40% if I remember correctly. And that's a last resort, because first it's simply stored as glycogen in liver and muscles (yes, you can carry a few pounds of sugar on you before your body starts to turn excess into fat)

Fat to fat conversion, on the other hand, is unbelievably easy. And since sugar is the preferred fuel of cells... It gets used up and fat gets stored. This is why high-carb low-fat vegan diet is a thing. Low-fat being a pretty important factor.

Unlike the author I'm willing to link one article (McDougall is solid) and one study.

http://fanaticcook.com/2014/03/24/exc...

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10...

(Yes, I actually do read research itself. Not just articles written by unqualified, pathetic, confused 'health experts' on some silly website or in a stupid magazine)

The thing is what sugar?


So
- natural sugar in food (fruit etc.) is good. (yes, fruit is good. No, you won't get crazy insulin spikes)
- refined, processed sugar (the word processed should be enough) is bad

What does the author do? Put fruit in the same category as white sugar! Now, how can ANYONE with a shrivel of knowledge take this bitch seriously.

The rest of shit she had to say about sugar was also inaccurate (not completely wrong, unfortunately. If you know little about nutrition you may even believe it. Do NOT!)

There's no point in explaining all of that here, just believe me she has very little fucking factual knowledge. She says 'sugar is the devil'. Personally, I think self absorbed, ignorant bitches writing about nutrition are the devil here.






whole wheat is good


Die in fire! This one is less obvious, but trust me. No, it's not better for you. No, you actually can't absorb the minerals from it any more than you can get iron by licking a car door. Your body just doesn't utilize it.

The kind of flour doesn't matter. What does is if it was made with SOUR DOUGH (or however the fuck you call it in English).

Have you ever wondered why humans through the history never simply ate grains, but instead had those complex processes of utilizing it? Fermentation, brewing alcohol... Nobody eats it straight.

Oh, wait, a cows do...

Because cow has 4 fucking stomachs (or was it 3?)! We have one, and grain contains something I can't name in English (sorry). It's bad for us. We don't digest it well (no, I'm not talking bout gluten). We have one stomach so we have to destroy it before ingesting food. This is what sour-dough does.

No, yeast is not the same. No, you can't speed up the process. Properly made bread is healthy. Most of what you get in stores is shit. But white/whole wheat makes no difference. Well, whole wheat puts more strain on your stomach, so there's that.





I could go on, and on, and on. Just trust me, don't use this book as a source of reliable information. Go, read something else. 

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review 2015-01-01 06:45
Skinny Bitch: A No-Nonsense, Tough-Love Guide for Savvy Girls Who Want to Stop Eating Crap and Start Looking Fabulous (MP3 Book) - Rory Freedman,Kim Barnouin

This was a last minute squeeze in for 2014 based on a frequent recommendation from a tumblr I follow.  It was the worst book I read this year.  This book regurgitated some questionable theories and gives some seriously bad advice that sounds like gateway advise to an eating disorder. there were a few good take aways from this book 1) read labels 2) do research and 3) question your meat and dairy consumption. the rest of the book really isn't worth your time. 

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review 2014-12-04 00:00
Skinny Bitch in the Kitch: Kick-Ass Recipes for Hungry Girls Who Want to Stop Cooking Crap (and Start Looking Hot!)
Skinny Bitch in the Kitch: Kick-Ass Recipes for Hungry Girls Who Want to Stop Cooking Crap (and Start Looking Hot!) - Rory Freedman,Kim Barnouin

Craptastic. This book is lazy and the bitch kitsch gets old fast. I love snark but this book is not snarky it's just rude and dumb (well, unless being called a whore sends you off into a fit of hilarity). The "meals" contain tons of processed crap and "fake" foods in place of dairy and meat. It's a vegan cookbook but the authors (editors/publishers?) are too chickenshit to come out and say that and apparently think we're too dumb to figure it out. It's intentionally misleading to make them more money. That irritates me beyond words.  I don't typically write angry reviews but the fact that I wasted precious time reading this book makes me crazy mad. Vegan recipes can be amazing but these recipes are lame.

My advice? Buy whole foods, grains, veggies, protein and cook 'em yourself. Skip the butter, the cream, the white sugar/white flour/white rice and the over processed everything. Shop mainly the outer aisles in the grocery store. You'll feel better and look better (if that's your goal). There I just saved you a whole bunch of cash and a slew of insults! If you're looking to get a healthy well written cookbook buy one of Tosca Reno's Clean Eating books. I can usually find something good to say about most everything I read but the only good thing I can say here is that I'm glad I borrowed this from the library. It's not even worth wasting a credit on over at paperbackswap.com. I would really like the hour of my life I wasted reading this back. I could spend that time cleaning up the dog poop in the yard or doing anything else but reading this tripe.

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review 2014-04-08 02:45
Skinny Bitch Gets Hitched
Skinny Bitch Gets Hitched - Kim Barnouin

 

 

By Kim Barnouin

ISBN: 978147670881

 

Publisher: Gallery Books

Publication date: 5/6/2014

Pages: 320

Format:  e-book 

My Rating:  4 Stars

 

 

As a huge fan of Skinny Bitch (loved Skinny Bitch: A No-Nonsense, Tough-Love Guide for Savvy Girls Who Want to Stop Eating Crap and Start Looking Fabulous and also, Skinny Bitch in Love), was so excited about Kim’s latest Skinny Bitch Gets Hitched with more cool dishes, menus, plus more.

 

 

Skinny Bitch Gets Hitched did not disappoint – another winner!  As usual, Kim knows Chick Lit and her humor, wit, and sass is totally awesome!  As a faithful vegan foodie, myself (for years), cannot image eating all the crap some people eat – I do not want to even be around it.   The vegan dishes were a huge draw for me, combined with drama surrounding restaurants, foods, weddings, and quirky family and friends.

 

From Kim’s last book, the saga continues with Clem after the reality show cook off, as she wins the capital for her new vegan restaurant – Clementine’s No Crap Café with her side kick  Sara (who also gets engages to her boyfriend Joe). 

 

Kim tackles the familiar, something old, something new, blue and vegan, as Clem’s No Crap Café is highly successful and riding on a restaurant review which can make or break her success.

 

When her meat-eating millionaire boyfriend Zach (cannot even image dating a non-vegan) surprises her with a marriage proposal she says yes, and begins making all sorts of wedding plans and encounters all the interference from not so welcome family members.

 

Then, Zach's eccentric old aunt gives Clementine the family earrings and a List of Important Things to Do before Getting Married. Of course, Clem and Sara are challenged to try them all.

 

During the middle of all the drama, Clem wants to open a second restaurant on her parent’s farm and of course Zach is not in favor of this move.  As another vegan chef Alexander moves in to offer Clem support in the kitchen and out, as she begins questioning her relationship and future.

 

I loved the sexy LA setting, and strong fiery Clementine, always passionate full of love with food and her endless ideas.  Of course, the eccentric aunt, wedding planner, and the evil mother in law, and friends were a riot.  Full of drama and fun with wedding plans, as emotions run high.

 

Would recommend to anyone who loves Kim’s classy no-nonsense writing style (I have purchased her books for many of my nieces and girlfriends). With her well rounded collection of books, she knows chick topics (from vegan cooking, dating, guys, career, goals, marriage, motherhood, being healthy, beauty, and styling)…and holds nothing back.  I look forward to reading some of the vegan cookbooks I missed along the way!   

 

A special thank you Gallery Books and NetGalley for a complimentary advanced reading copy, in exchange for an unbiased and honest review.

Source: www.goodreads.com/review/show/899075662
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review 2014-04-02 00:00
Skinny Bitch Gets Hitched
Skinny Bitch Gets Hitched - Kim Barnouin True rating: 3.5
Unlike the first book, the vegan side of things was very much toned down this time around as Barnouin marries the delicious vegan dishes, while being open minded to other tastes and without slamming it down the readers throat. The usual staples of chick-lit are all here, yet "Skinny Bitch Get Hitches" provides the genre with a fresh twist. The love triangle presented in the description in wildly exaggerated (thank heavens), making Clem and her meat-eating fiance Zach a refreshingly real couple who part and crash together for all the right reasons. A fun, encouraging book with a few laughs along the way perfect for spring and summer!

OF NOTE: I was granted an e-galley for honest bookseller/review purposes. Thank you to Gallery Books & Netgalley for the opportunity.
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