No one knows what happened to Alexi over the summer. And she deals with it on her own, hiding in her closet and scratching her neck.

And when Bodee, who has secrets of his own, comes to live with Alexi's family, she discovers an unlikely friend. As they lean on each other for support, they give each other the strength to face their secrets.

I'm sure there will be spoilers in my review. I thought this book sounded good, but I ended up loving it. I think Alexi and Bodee are such amazing characters. They're flawed. They're broken. But that just made them so relatable to me.

And I love their interactions with each other; their care and gentleness. It was so sweet.

Alexi has to come to terms with being raped, and not only that but who raped her. And Bodee is dealing with his mother's death. His own father killed her.

This book deals with some heavy issues, but it is very well-written. The author has a unique voice and a nice style of writing. And her characters, especially Alexi and Bodee, are very real. They are relatable.

I loved this book. I loved Alexi and Bodee. I loved how they were with each other. I just think this is such a good book. It has become a favorite of mine.

Hi all, Rose here with another Top Ten Tuesday entry.  This theme is brought to you by the Broke and the Bookish, and this week was a freebie entry, so I thought I'd do my top ten reads of 2015.  I'm still going to do a year end post, but it's still not compiled yet and I have a bit of catching up to do on my bookish profiles (I honestly didn't realize how far behind I was in keeping track of what I was reading last year.  Thankfully, I'm already doing a better job of that this year.)

So these aren't in any particular order and they aren't limited by publication year (as I'll do in my Best of 2015 entry).  These are all books I read in 2015 and ended up loving for what they offered.  All I ended up rating 4 stars or higher when I read them, with some books pending full reviews.  I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

In no particular order:

1. "The Start of Me and You" by Emery Lord - this was the first read I've ever had from Emery Lord, and I adored every moment of it, from the writing to the character relationships built and explored in the narrative.  Paige and Ryan's characters really leap off the page with their respective situations of grief and coming to terms, and I absolutely loved the realistic feel of Paige's circle of friends.

2. "The Truth About Forever" by Sarah Dessen. Many people had begged me to pick up this book by Dessen since I was doing a binge reading of her books in 2015, and I wasn't disappointed in the least.  Loved the relationships of the characters, really identified with Macy's grief as she copes not only with the loss of her father, but also a broken relationship and trying to find her own identity.  Pretty updated cover as well.

3. "Dare Me" by Megan Abbott - "Dare Me" completely blew me away as one of my earlier reads in the year.  I loved how it managed to immerse me in the overarching mystery surrounding the novel as well as how dark and layered its characters were showcased.  It's definitely one of my new favorite books, and the writing is absolutely fantastic.

4. "Black Iris" by Leah Raeder - I keep thinking back to some of my favorite reads of 2015 in the New Adult category, and my mind keeps coming back to this.  Dark, lyrical writing, complex (and complicated) characters, deep sensuality that pops off the page, and just an overarching engaging read.  I did have some issues with how it marched toward the end, but the journey was so good that I would gladly pick up this novel again (and I ended up ordering a copy from Amazon even though I had gotten it from NetGalley as a galley.  Goes to show you that I do buy books based on how well they engage me even if I have a digital galley copy.

5. "Invisibility" by Andrea Cremer and David Levithan: Dude, I stayed away from this book for far too long because of the mixed reviews surrounding, and ended up loving it for the journey it offered.  I picked it up as an audio read from the library and loved the premise of a boy who's lived his whole life invisibie and the horrific curse that surrounds and threatens him.  I loved how wonderfully tense and palpable the scenes came across in this book, plus - magical realism?  Totally here for that.  I would still love to see a sequel of this if the authors could collaborate again. *crosses fingers*

6. "Glass" by Ellen Hopkins.  This book broke my heart. As problematic and flawed as the protagonist in this novel is, it's a potent example of the cycle of addiction.  I also liked how it was formatted in a poetic style - which is one of my first loves in writing, but for anyone who may be deterred from it because of that - the audiobook does a wonderful job of pacing and enunciating the emotion behind it.

7. "Faking Normal" by Courtney C. Stevens - a wonderfully potent book about a young woman living in the aftermath of her rape.  I actually rated "Blue-Haired Boy" (a companion novella to this story) a full five stars, but in considering it, I'd likely rate both of them among my favorite reads of 2015.  I'm definitely looking forward to reading more from Courtney C. Stevens in the future.

8. "All the Rage" by Courtney Summers - I think I'll end up loving mostly anything Courtney Summers writes because of how intimate she is with her characterizations and the topics she expounds upon.  This was an emotional read in more ways than one on the topic of rape as well.  And it features a character of color (Leon) who was absolutely wonderful in his portrayal.

9. "The Summer of Chasing Mermaids" by Sarah Ockler.  I squee with joy over this book, and continuously think it's underrated because not only does it feature an POC leading character, but it's just a wonderful coming of age summer story in general.  I feel like any review I write won't do it nearly enough justice, but I'm hoping to pen a review for it soon.  Indubitably one of my favorite reads of 2015, and I love Sarah Ockler's writing.

and last but not least *drumroll*....

10. "Golden Son" by Pierce Brown: Yet another book I have yet to review in full, but I loved it just as much as its predecessor, if not a bit more.  And I'm eagerly anticipating the final book in the trilogy which releases this year.

That's all for now.  Until next entry,

Rose

Quick review for a quick, wonderful read. Man, this novella makes me wish I'd been able to see more of Bodee's life and perspective in "Faking Normal", because this was a great, brief view. Courtney C. Stevens makes this narrative pop with tight writing and an intimacy that made the story and interactions work for what it offered. I loved his character, even through the brief interactions we see him with Gerry, a girl who gets off a bus and encounters Bodee as he contemplates leaving at the station. The two of them take a trip together and share insights on their lives and relationships here, knowing they're not going to see each other again - but they share common ground.

I loved Gerry's personality and thought it was a nice match to Bodee's calmer, quiet one. Gerry laments losing her girlfriend and confesses to taking a trip of escape of her own, while Bodee confesses to the abuse that he and his mother suffer from his father. They each have secrets, but they're expanded upon in some measure with a refreshing degree of honesty, albeit brief. This also shows how Bodee becomes the "Kool-Aid" kid as Gerry - with some degrees of hilarity - dyes his hair Berry Blue ("I look like a Smurf.") XD

This kind of slice of life portrait - with attention to tough details and character interaction - and intimacy is the kind of thing I love reading in YA contemporaries, and I would name it as one of my favorite novellas/short stories in the vein.

Overall: 5/5 stars.

Initial reaction: This book had its share of flaws, but I still thought it was a powerful story for what it offered. Definitely shook me in places as I read it.

Full review:

I think Courtney C. Stevens's "Faking Normal" surprised me in terms of how powerful it turned out to be, especially for the way approached the experiences of its main character. I think part of what made this narrative standout was the great audio reading by Emma Galvin. Galvin's voice and emotional resonance tend to compliment teen books very well from the experiences I've had with her readings before, and this was no exception. I think she especially provided a raw honesty for Alexi's character that stuck with me. It was part of the reason why I liked this narrative as much as I did.

It's not a secret that this book focuses on the horrific experiences that Alexi endured over a long stretch of time, but most notably over one summer that changed everything. It's not until after she ends up colliding with Bodee's particular situation that she actually starts confronting the reality. I'll admit I came into this book with varying degrees of skepticism, but decided to see where it would take me.

Alexi's going through a number of different transitions in the course of "Faking Normal". Her sister's getting married to a long term fiance, she's struggling with an incident that happened over the summer that changed her views of relationships entirely (it's not hard to figure out what it is and I think the suspension in the narrative is more of a reflection of the character trying to come to terms with that reality, rather than a measure to keep the reader in suspense), and she's having to bring into her family a classmate who recently experienced a horrific ordeal of his own (Bodee - his father murdered his mother and he's having to testify against his father's crime and long term abuse. He ends up staying with Alexi and her family for a time.).

Alexi is a character who has many insecurities and that showed very much in the narrative in terms of her voice and her interactions with the other characters. I saw her flaws through her voice - internal musings as well as external. That's not to say that she was the easiest character to follow (there were times when her judgments regarding other characters drove me up the wall). But the insecurities and the walls she puts up with respect to the inner turmoil she has is very realistic, palpable, and consistent. I think that was the thing that made me invested in her character and want to know how she eventually comes to terms with everything going on around her.

I was struck by how realistic Alexi's cycle of denial was from a psychological standpoint. Granted, you kind of get that impression considering this book's called "Faking Normal" and what meaning that takes on. She has a hard time speaking up for what she wants because of this idea that she has to accept what's done to her (rationale being due to fear, anguish, not wanting to upset the balance of those surrounding her, maybe even hoping that somehow faking it will help her ease into some sense of normality) , that she doesn't have a voice, that it doesn't matter what she wants. For victims of trauma who are in this kind of denial/self-blame, those are not uncommon musings and I think Stevens does a decent job of showing this.

However, I have some bones to pick. I think "Faking Normal" could've done a better job with the measure of showing/defining dubious consent, sexual assault, and rape. Stevens touches on these measures in variant capacities in the narrative, but she doesn't really do a good job of defining them via a coming to terms for Alexi as Alexi struggles to make sense of her experiences. For a narrative tackling such subjects as these, that's extremely important, especially for teens to be able to know (Heck, if it's hard for adults to be able to define in some measures and discuss, think about how this comes across to a younger audience for the shaping.) I think while this narrative did a fine job of showing the anguish that Alexi went through and the emotions behind Alexi's ordeals, it didn't do a very good job of shaping the definition of these experiences and prompting further serious, formal discussion of these ordeals. Which is why I debated my rating for this book for a while after I read it.

This book also touches on the cliched "love heals trauma" measure I see in many New Adult novels, though I would say that it didn't bother me as much in this book as others I've picked up (that may be a personal thing - I could definitely see some readers taking issue with that in this novel because there are shades of it here). Bodee is a boy with some seriously heavy burdens - they're given weight in the narrative (and Alexi does actually call him out in some measures for his denial/reluctance to testify against his father). Do I think Bodee's experiences could've been expounded upon more? Absolutely YES. I felt like there wasn't enough of a balance given to both of their coming to terms and there was more of a leaning where it seems like he's helping her come to terms more than she's helping him, and there's a significant reliance on the affection rather than the issue being dealt with. That's a problem that I think more YA/NA authors need to be mindful of. There shouldn't be such a heavy leaning on significant others helping another character to heal via the "power of love" (more often than not, a male "healing" a female character) because people truly coming to terms with trauma or serious issues doesn't work in that single dimension. More often than not, that particular focus can undermine the pain/ experience and coming to terms the afflicted character goes through. For "Faking Normal" - I never got a sense that the sentiments were anything less than genuine or some kind of narrative ploy, so maybe it didn't bother me for that reason, but it was still a problematic leaning I noticed in thinking about the narrative after the read.

I will say that this book gripped me with its scheme of events - Stevens's writing is immersive and focused - giving me access to how Alexi thought/felt and how she gradually came to terms with what happened to her as well as handled the relationships around her. The slow burn didn't bother me (matter in point, I actually liked it because it gave me a chance to see the characters interact/react over time).

The climax of the novel tugged at my heartstrings - I couldn't look away from it and I was glad that Alexi had her chance to rise against her rapist in the scheme of the novel.

Overall, I think this book is worth reading for the experience and to serve as a conversation starter. I liked the investment in the difficult subjects it chose to show, even if I thought it could've provided better definitions and discussions surrounding the measure.

Overall score: 3.5/5 stars.

DNF at page 33

I know, I'm so lame. Quitting a book at page 33?

But I just don't feel like pressing on. First of all, I don't even know why I picked this up in the first place. The blurb sounds pretty similar to loads of other YA contemporary books that deal with issues. And I'm not one for romances, so why the hell was this even on my TBR list?? I think it was because I wanted to know what happened to Alexis. And now I do. The author tried to make it like a big mystery, but it's so obvious and I could totally tell who was the one that hurt Alexis (reading someone else's review confirmed my suspicions).

So, I'm DNFing. If you like YA contemporaries or "issue" books, then I think you should give it a try. The writing is pretty good and Alexis is likable enough. But I have no interest in those kinds of stories and that is why I am not continuing.