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Search tags: romance-or-erotica-is-the-question
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review 2015-11-13 06:34
Er, is it a DNF when you say "fuck this!" with five minutes left?
Animal Attraction - Jill Shalvis

This book started off so well. At least much better than the first book. There was definitely a spark of something there between the hero and heroine more than sex. I appreciated that. Then when they did have sex it was the only scene for the longest time, there was even a judicious FTB. Then a flipped was switched and it seemed that suddenly Shalvis felt she needed to make up for less sex later in the book and there was more for no reason. Also, I really dislike when books end on sex scenes. It is infinitely worse when the book is needlessly extended to shove in yet another elongated, overly descriptive sex scene. Eight minutes left in the book and does the heroine take the hero to meet her family while they are in Chicago? Nope. Is there a cute little scene where she's showing him the city I doubt he's ever been to while the story sweetly fades into their HEA? Nooope.






Like another book I just finished reading. They get snowbound together. They really only just met, so do they talk for awhile, get to know each other? OF COURSE NOT. No, fifteen, FIFTEEN, pages of sex scene and then two lines at the end of the chapter that says they talked. THAT IS COMPLETELY THE OPPOSITE OF HOW A ROMANCE NOVEL SHOULD BE, DAMMIT!!!


*heavy breathing*


*glares at books*


"Romance" genre I love you, but you are on such thin ice with me. 

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review 2015-09-13 00:28
Finished – Hell or High Water: What I know . . .
Hell or High Water (The Deep Six) - Julie Ann Walker

How sexy he finds her.

What he wants to do to her.

How long he's wanted to do it.

His feeling on all the parts of her body.

What her breasts look like.

What her nipples look like.

What they taste like.

What her vagina looks like.

What her vagina feels like.

What her vagina tastes like.

Everything he wants to do with her vagina.

What he does to her vagina.

How wet her vagina is.

How sexy she finds him.

What she wants to do with him.

How long she has wanted to do it.

Her feeling on all the parts of his body.

What his body looks like.

What his penis looks like.

How erect his penis is.

How big and erect his penis is.

What color his penis is when it is super erect.

What his penis looks like as it is erect.

What the veins of his penis look like as he is getting erect.

What his penis feels like in her hands.

What his penis tastes like.*

What his penis feels like in side her.

What both their genitalia looks like as he moves in and out of her.

What both their genitalia looks like when he pulls out of her.

What the build up to orgasm feels like.

What the orgasm feel like and do to them.

How much they want to do all the sex again.


What I don't know . . .


Why in the hell these two think they're in love with each other.




Yeah, graphic (though not as graphic as the actual book) but I think represents my problem here well. This book was all show when it came to sex but nothing but tell when it came to them being in "love". They knew each other nearly two years ago in Syria is as much as we're given. In this book they're either talking about the mission or sex. There was one little spate of getting to know each other's backgrounds. "He loved her and now he wanted to know everything about her." Sigh. Okay.


Oddly, there was a secondary couple that met during the book and THEY had real conversation and I can see what they have in common and would like about each other outside of sexual attraction. Why couldn't we get any of that for the primary couple? I might listen to the next book if the library gets it if it is this secondary couple hoping that we'll get even more of a foundation since there is at least already one in place for that story.


The other major problem with future books in this series, aside from knowing there'll be an overabundance of graphic sex supplanting story and unnecessary POV jumping is this strange thing of Walker describing the women as so diminutive they look like children. Thankfully the heroine of this book was adult sized. But the hero of the secondary couple initially thought the heroine was a little boy. Then called her a sexy cherub. Uh, ew. At the end of the book the historian they hired showed up and it's clear she's going to be the heroine of a future book and she's described as looking like a little girl at first. What is that? That's so creepy. Especially when they're going to be paired with these massive former Navy SEALS. It kind of reminded me of seeing Hayden Panettiere and her husband at first. See? But worse because it's going to be so graphically described.


Meh. We'll see. If the library gets any more of this series in and whether or not I run out of other things to listen to I might listen to the next book.

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text 2015-07-28 06:30
Yet More Bothersome Tropes
Love Overdue - Pamela Morsi
Extreme Exposure (Audio Download) - Kaleo Griffith,Pamela Clare

Of course this complaint isn't far off what I usually complain about, but I feel like this is something n which we can all agree . . . maybe. I keep reading these over and over and it really gets under my skin now.


First: The (framed as) "prudish" heroine who wishes she could be promiscuous or go out and bang random dudes, etc. Usually she has a best friend or sister who does and she laments not being more like her. Okay, if you're me you're annoyed because what in the hell kind of thing is that to aspire to? Less STD and pregnancy scares, ooh, life is so boring! Physical intimacy actually means something to you, you're so juvenile! (Reference back to my irritation at heroines considering this sophisticated behavior. ) 


But where we all can agree is on wondering why is what these heroines are so bad? What is making them feel that being who they are is a bad thing? Are we supposed to nod our heads in agreement and say "you suck, change!"? I don't get it. You do you, girl. Let the grass stay greener because if you're not that person, trying to be is just going to cause you problems.


Second: The best friend who encourages the heroine to change who she is to be more promiscuous or whatever. Sorry, but I think you're best friending wrong. Aren't you supposed to be telling her she's great as she is? Not trying to dress her up like Streetwalker Barbie™ and telling her to throw herself at the first available cock that passes muster. Shouldn't the BFF understand who she is and know that this isn't going to work out well for her? It just reeks of, "I love you, but . . ." to me, something that drives me bonkers. Supportive is one thing, pushing her into something emotionally and physically dangerous is another.


Again, these things are probably just me and I likely wouldn't have noticed myself if I hadn't read them over and over. But unfortunately what has been noticed cannot be unnoticed. 


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text 2015-06-08 08:15
7 hours in — What . . . just, what?
Rock Addiction (Rock Kiss) (Volume 1) - Nalini Singh

Heroine: I don't want to be like my mother! Pathetic and unable to be a person separate from my father. I don't want to be like my mother!
Hero: If you're going to be with me you need to give up everything to come with me.
Heroine: Okay!
Me: *deep eye roll* Idiot.


They've been together all of two and a half weeks and haven't done anything but fuck constantly. Nothing to indicate that they have the sort of long-lasting relationship that makes sense for her to give up her entire life and move halfway around the world. Not even the unbelievable I love yous.


Not to mention his "you are mine, I'll do what I want" and physically restraining her when she's mad borderline if not actually abusive bullshit. And they have one fight and she's throwing stuff in a suitcase, what even?


This book is freaking stupid.


And somehow there are four hours left. 

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text 2015-06-08 07:31
More than sex?
Rock Addiction (Rock Kiss) (Volume 1) - Nalini Singh
Hope Ignites - Jaci Burton

'. . . They had a special connection, this was more than just sex.'


'They had something more than just sex.'


'They recognized this was something special. It wasn't just sex.'


Methinks the authors doth protest too much. First of all, saying something like that in the middle of sex kind of renders it meaningless.


Second, when everything comes back to your genitals . . . come on now.


Third, when the characters have not spent any time together that hasn't started or ended with sex, it's just not true.


The most conversation we get out of these couples is about their pasts and where their "relationship" is going. Nothing else. Nothing to indicate they're compatible in any way. Nothing to show they can talk about something that isn't sex and themselves. That they can joke and have fun (again, outside of sex). Or have intelligent discussion. SOMETHING that would tell me that there is some sort of foundation for an HEA besides really good sex.


Don't tell me they have something more than sex. SHOW. ME.

The above is just a sign of crappy writing.

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