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review SPOILER ALERT! 2017-04-30 00:17
Taken By Swarm
Taken by Swarm - Seduced by WEREBEES (BBW paranormal shapeshifters erotic romance) - A M Ball

This is one of those books where I'm like how in the holy fuck do I review it? I mean, I face the same issue with a title like Toilet Baby; it's just so absurd that it beggars a serious review. Here we go, let's see if I can pull out something coherent anyway.

 

The author loves adjectives and alliteration, gifting the reader with phrases such as "she thought about how the plump, pliant persistent bulb delving down in her drenching lips."

The book is FILLED with stuff like this. Also her genitals are often referred to her as "her puss." Also I find this passage particularly egregious: "Her chest was pounding now, and her thighs were tightening now and her buttocks were flexing now and a dam was creaking now, and cracking and breaking to open wide and burst."

BUT WHEN WILL THEN BE NOW? ...Soon.

 

So she goes from using a vibrator on herself in the car -- because that's what we all do at rest stops out in the open, right? -- to going in to the stereotypical small town to find a bite to eat. She ends up in a diner where a man brings her a big golden cookie to eat. She apparently doesn't find this odd at all and consumes it readily. This...makes her in to a bee queen? Or something? And then a bunch of cocks show up, and they're maybe attached to a bunch of werebees? I can't remember that being said explicitly in the story. We're just supposed to know that these disembodied dicks are attached to a bunch of shapeshifters who want to impregnate her and make her their queen. Also their sperm must induce telepathy, because she somehow knows that these men are drones and she's the queen.

 

The sex scene also involves food. Which normally, I think is disgusting. Food and sex do not belong together in my world. And in this book, cocks and eclairs are the same? Or the cocks are stuck through eclairs, and she eats the pastry and sucks the dick? Oh my god I don't know, I am thinking way too hard about a book that involves fucking a bunch of werebees.

 

"The large, round end of an eclair insinuates slyly and smoothly in between her lips."

You're welcome.

 

Did you know the main character is also fat? And the whole book involves her gorging herself on cakes? I mean, I'm fat and I love cake, let's not front. But man, this is a slim book -- more of a pamphlet really -- and it's not enough time to establish anything else about her so her sole trait as a fat chick is that she likes to eat. Oh and get off, I guess. Hobbies are important!

 

In closing I present you with the greatest (possible?) type in the whole book: "there's something important that she feels has not bee accomplished."

Me too, and that thing would be writing the rest of the book.

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text 2017-04-12 06:48
Cover Reveal and Giveaway for Father by Clarissa Wild
 
 
Title: Father
Author: Clarissa Wild
Genre: Romance Suspense/Taboo Romance
Release Date: April 25, 2017 Cover Designer: Booming Covers
 
Confess your sin.
 
People call me Father, but I prefer Frank because I’m the worst preacher you’ll ever meet.
Days spent completely wasted pull a number on you, especially when you’ve got a truckload of baggage that comes with it.
Until this beautiful girl in the back of the church takes my breath away.
…And we end up committing sacrilege in the confessional.
Did I mention I’m filthy?
Bad doesn’t even begin to describe me, and after one taste of what she’s got to offer, I want more.
Too bad having a dirty mind isn’t the only thing we’ve got in common…
Our past is laced with sin.
 
Author’s Note: This book is not for everyone. It’s raw. It’s vulgar. It’s downright offensive. But it’s oh so damn delicious with a capital D. If you are easily offended or prudish, please don’t read this book. But if you like a bit of humor mixed in with raunchiness and brawling, you’ll love this book.
Contains disturbing situations, strong language, and graphic violence.
 
 
 
** Unedited Excerpt **
 
She turns her attention towards me as she rubs her forehead with her towel. “Well, well, what a coincidence.”

 
I smile and enjoy the view. No point in denying anything, especially since there’s been no allegation. Yet.
“So Bruno already found you. Are you stalking us or something?” she asks, raising a brow.
Aha, there it is.
“Nah.” I grin. “Just your friendly neighborhood preacher patrolling the area.”
She rolls her eyes, but I can tell she’s barely able to keep the laughter inside.
“Got something to confess?” I ask.
She snorts. “Like you don’t already know everything.”

 
“I do!” Bruno raises his hand.

 
“Oh, yeah? Tell me then, what’d you do?” I inquire, inching closer.

 
He closes his mouth and freezes, so I lean in even closer and pat the bench. “Sit.”
He does what I ask and then I turn my ear to him so he can whisper.
“I peed in the sandbox.”
My grin turns into a full-on outburst of laughter.
“What?” Laura asks.
I turn my face to Bruno and whisper back into his ear, “Is that the real reason you didn’t wanna play in the sandbox anymore?”
He nods.

 
“What?!” Laura’s voice is even louder this time, and she’s even thrown her towel over her shoulder like some kind of statement.

 
Bruno looks at me as if he’s pleading me not to tell her, probably because she’d get mad, and rightfully so. But I think I’ll play along this game.

 
So I twine my fingers and smile like a motherfucker. “I’m sorry. Confessions made to a preacher are strictly confidential.”

 
Oh, that look on her face right now.

 
Blood-boiling rage.

 
Magnificent.

 
“Frank…” she hisses.

 
I shrug, still smiling as I lean back.

 
“He did something, you gotta tell me, this isn’t a joke,” she grumbles. “What if it’s something embarrassing or wrong?”

 
“You mean like that thing we did in church?”

 
Her eyes widen and the shock on her face is amazing to see.
 
“What thing?” Bruno asks.
 
“Nothing!” Laura hisses. “Frank …”
 
I look at Bruno and say, “Bruno. If you say you’re sorry, I will absolve you from your sins.”
 
“Does that mean God forgives me too?”
 
I nod. It’s hard to explain these things to a kid as young as him.
 
He draws a cute cross on his chest and mumbles, “I’m sorry.”
 
“Good.” I pet his back and then look at Laura. “See? He’s repenting, so he’s forgiven his sins.”
 
She narrows her eyes and snarls at me. “You are so bad.”
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Clarissa Wild is a New York Times & USA Today Bestselling author, best known for the dark Romance novel Mr. X. Her novels include the Fierce Series, the Delirious Series, the Stalker Duology, Twenty-One (21), Ultimate Sin, Viktor, Bad Teacher, RUIN, and the Indecent Games Series. She is an avid reader and writer of sexy stories about hot men and feisty women. Her other loves include her furry cat friend and learning about different cultures. In her free time she enjoys watching all sorts of movies, reading tons of books and cooking her favorite meals.
 
Want to get an email when my next book is released? Sign up here to receive 4 FREE short stories: http://eepurl.com/FdY71
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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review 2017-03-11 06:25
Cirque: Act 1 ~ Ashleigh Giannoccaro
Cirque Act 1 - Ashleigh Giannoccaro

Nothing is ever all shining lights and glitter, even when we don't see it there is darkness, a bad side of the coin.



As a young lad Sivan spent many evenings at the circus with his family. He'd sneak off to a familiar trailer and watch with fascination the carnal events taking place between one particular clown and showgirl. Since childhood, Sivan's obsession started and lasted into his adulthood. Now hiding away from the regular world he keeps his secret where it belongs: tucked and hidden away.

Imogene comes from a trying past yet she has circus in her blood- she can't escape and wouldn't want to- she's a natural. Once Sivan sets his eyes on her the attraction is overpowering. But what happens in a world where no one loves clowns?

When I picked this up I knew it would be unlike anything I've read and suffice to say I was happily impressed! This was soooo good! And so unique. I did also get the added thrill of taunting my fiance that I was reading about a sexy clown doing naughty clown things (he is TERRIFIED of clowns).



One thing that really stood out to me was the classic hedonism in this author's writing style- even the words were sexy. The way the dancers moved, the application of make-up, everything had a sexually charged description. Even when there wasn't a lot of action happening, I was lost in the pages.

The characters themselves were also a welcomed change- it isn't often to read a darker romance with a feisty girl with a pixie haircut! No doe eyes here! Imogene was something new and a character unlike any I've ever read before. I couldn't imagine a better fallen hero like Sivan who could make a clown come alive in our day and age. Sivan was a rough and gruff rugby player but deep inside he's truly his own sadistic version of a sad clown.



Overall an amazing read & one that will stay with me for a long time. I highly recommend this book to readers across various genres!! xx

My theme song for the book: *Dirty Pretty by In This Moment*

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review 2017-03-01 19:31
Four Crows ~ Lily White
Four Crows - Lily White

Women were meant to be respected. They were meant to be treated with care and protected against the injustices of the world, but I guessed that meant nothing to the thieves in the night- the monsters that fed on the fragilities and vulnerabilities of those who they considered weaker than themselves.



A young mother and child torn from the man who swore to protect them.
A soldier devastated not only after the atrocities of war.
A young girl with her innocence in precarious balance.
And a family of 3 men who would one day pay for their sins.


W.O.W. I’ve read Lily White in the past but that couldn’t prepare me for just how amazing this story was. I’m almost at a loss of words writing this review. Four Crows had every element a dark romance/thriller reader could dream of. Mystery, passion, violence, and a few major twists to keep the action at a steady pace throughout the book.

I'm a rabid dog off his leash, a hungry tiger uncaged, a feral wolf that's been injured and abused, only to be set free.



Elliott spent the last 14 years chasing the people responsible for stealing his wife and child away from him. After the police declaring the disappearances a cold case and many, many long nights, Elliott finally believes he may have found the individuals responsible. He sees an easy in- seduce the young daughter of the male ringleader of the trio of terror. Little does he know Maggie, the daughter, has a hidden strength she may tap into at any time. After all, blood IS thicker than water.

The sings of the father don't lie on the shoulders of his daughter. It's the sons that bear the weight.

Maggie has spent her life sheltered yet witnessed the atrocities committed by the men in her family. She dreams of freedom and to have a choice in her life. A choice to run, a choice to stay, just a choice period. When a stranger comes into her orbit she believes for once she may have a choice for her future, but any decision comes with consequences.



The dynamic between Maggie and Elliott was palpable and could be felt throughout reading. They were perfect prisms of light and darkness to each other. At about 40% I already had such a book hangover and a lot of the action was just starting to get good. The two characters were so dimensional and “real” my emotions were at an all-time high reading this.

I also enjoyed the author’s writing style where the atrocities surrounding Elliott’s family were left somewhat ambiguous yet also discovered throughout the course of the novel. There were no flashbacks in time to EXACTLY what happened to them but Elliott did finally learn the truth in a way an outsider can learn. It made the book all more real and even unsettling as well.

Overall, this book was gold. I can’t recommend it enough to readers across various genres- romance, thriller, mystery, horror- there is something in this story for everyone. xx

*Received an arc in exchange for an honest review*

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review 2017-02-02 23:17
Pretty Lost Dolls ~ Ker Dukey & K. Webster
Pretty Lost Dolls - K. Webster,Ker Dukey
Pretty Lost Dolls picks up right where Pretty Stolen Dolls left off; with the help of Macy, Jade finds herself back in her cell. But this time Jade isn’t the scared little girl she once was… She is a detective, trained, ruthless, and she was getting out alive once and for all.

Benny doesn't have little Jade.
He has Detective Jade Phillips.
The department's most ruthless cop.
A b*tch.
A rumored dike.
A f*cking nightmare.


I still feel aghast at myself for rating a book with Ker Dukey 4 stars (Pretty Stolen Dolls) but the first installment lost my interest because I didn’t quite connect with Jade. This installment still kind of went that way- BUT Benny’s backstory and Macy’s unraveling took the plot and action through the roof! This is what I’m talking about! Whoa! *this was intense*



Jade, as a character, I still find wishy-washy- and it was hard for me to empathize with her point of view. She is not a compassionate person in my opinion. With Benny showing vulnerability I would have expected her to feel some sort of Stockholm syndrome towards him but nope- she was almost robotic. I must escape. I hate him.

Okay, now onto the plot- did I say it was intense? OMG I could not put this down. This was darker, grittier, and more captivating than the first book. There wasn’t a dull moment- just nonstop twists, revelations, and action. We finally learn more about Benny and how he came to be- which is dark and f’ed up in itself. And Macy- she takes creepy doll to a new level. Wanna play a game?



Dirty Little Doll,
You are invited to a tea party.
Dress pretty and don't be late!
XOXO,
Broken Little Doll


Now. I know this can’t be the end. With the Empathy series we got some novellas. To make this convenient I have provided the authors with a list of novellas I would like:
• Macy’s point of view
• The future novella with a character introduced at the end
• Benny’s full story
• A Bethany’s point of view


Please. Please. Don’t make me beg!



5 stars hands down xx
 
 

 

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