logo
Wrong email address or username
Wrong email address or username
Incorrect verification code
back to top
Search tags: Fairy-Tale
Load new posts () and activity
Like Reblog Comment
show activity (+)
review 2017-03-22 15:00
As Old as Time
As Old as Time - Liz Braswell

 

 

 

Have you ever wondered what would happen to Disney's Beauty and the Beast if someone took all the magic out of it?



... well this book is what happens.


“I’M NOT HUNGRY!” she screamed back, rage billowing out of her more forcefully than she had imagined possible. Thinking of the triplets and their behavior hadn’t improved her mood.

“YOU’LL COME OUT OR…I’LL BREAK DOWN THE DOOR!”

“HUFF AND PUFF ALL YOU LIKE, YOU MONSTROUS WOLF!” she spat. “GO RIGHT AHEAD! IT’S YOUR CASTLE, AFTER ALL. DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH IT. I’M JUST YOUR PRISONER!”

“YOU CAN’T STAY IN THERE FOREVER!” the Beast roared.

“JUST WATCH ME!” Belle spat back.

“FINE! THEN GO AHEAD AND STARVE!”


This childish dialogue between Belle and the Beast basically sums up As Old as Time: a caricature of the 90’s Disney version of Beauty and the Beast, that doesn’t delve deeper into the characters or the magical world. Instead As Old as Time is full of inconsistencies, over-done, flat, two-dimensional characters, and falls way short of the Disney film.

And by being ‘just’ a retelling of Disney’s story, the author didn’t have to come up with her own characters or world-building, instead she just piggy-backed on people’s childhood nostalgia – and utterly failed.


I DNF-ed the book, I hated Belle so much, felt sorry for the Beast, was generally confused by the inconsistencies of the story, and was annoyed by the boring characters.


I didn’t quite realize that this was a retelling of Disney’s version of Beauty and the Beast, and not of the original book. I just picked it up in preparation for the live-action Disney film and was utterly disappointed. The author didn’t fix Disney’s mistakes and inconsistencies, took all magic and wonder out of it, and didn't expound more on the characters or the story backdrop.


In this retelling of Disney's Beauty and the Beast, the Beast is enchanted by Belle’s mother. There was a backstory about why the Enchantress cursed the Beast (because the people of the kingdom turned against magic-users and fairy tale creatures and basically the prince - a child at the time … did nothing?). There was a mention in the book where the Beast said that he was a child when he was cursed and “what could I have done?”. But this doesn’t fix the problems the story-line has. The Enchantress’ reason for cursing the Beast was that: “there is no love in your heart at all, Prince–just like your parents…”.

BUT, the prince was an eleven-year-old boy when he was cursed because he was “selfish, spoiled and unkind”. Realistically how can a ten-year-old child learn to be unselfish and kind with no positive role models and no one to love him? That is not what happens to a child who is isolated, unloved, and turned into a hideous monster! And anyway what about other spoiled, rude, and selfish children - does the Enchantress go around arbitrarily handing our punishment?


If you think about it, a ten-year-old boy who has no parents and obviously learned from fairy tales to distrust haggard looking, old women should definitely not let the obviously-evil witch into his home!


If anything, fairy-tales taught us not to trust old women (and apples and stepmothers)!


Did the enchantress really expect the prince to learn to be kind, and caring, and loving by isolating him from the rest of the world, locking him into an enchanted castle that no one remembers, and by turning an unloved little boy into a hideous monster?

How the fuck is a child supposed to learn about kindness and generosity from a witch who cursed him and robbed him of his childhood for no good reason!

He was fucking right to turn that bitch away!



And the enchanted castle just raises soo many questions:

- Where do the original furniture go?

- Who decides which furniture stays and which is replaced by cursed servants?

- Are all furniture enchanted people? Or do the servants get sucked into the existing furniture?

- Is there sentient furniture that's not a person? And if so what happens to that furniture once the curse is lifted?

- How are the servants not majorly pissed at the beast after all those years?

- The beast grows up during his enchantment, so why doesn’t Chip grow up too? Or was he conceived during the enchantment? In that case how the fuck does a teapot conceive – and with what???

- What happens to the sentient pots of mustard and stuff when they get used up - do they die or are they replenished - and is that actually a person? If so what is the mustard made of?

- And finally, which poor soul got turned into the chamber pot?



I absolutely detested Belle in this book, and as someone who loved Belle in the Disney film, this made my disappointment so much greater. The prince is cursed for being selfish, spoiled, and unkind, but really Belle isn't any better. During the first 40% of the book Belle looks down her nose on everyone from her high horse and gives no thought to the consequences of her actions, she’s pretentious, arrogant, and condescending.

For example, when she destroys the Beast’s last chance at breaking the curse, she doesn’t take responsibility for her actions, basically she just shrugs and says: well you weren’t going to break the curse anyway so what difference does it make.

She gives “gentle insults” to the villagers and basically thinks she’s the only person with a brain in the village – not everyone has all day to read Belle! some people need to work hard to survive (this is in a time when rural France was poor and overpopulated).

And to top her arrogance off, she thinks that she’s way too good for the Beast, instead he should set his hopes for some” nice peasant girl”.

Belle is like the original hipster.

Like Reblog Comment
review 2017-03-15 01:52
Mother Bruce
Mother Bruce by Higgins, Ryan T. (November 24, 2015) Hardcover - Ryan T. Higgins

Mother Bruce is a silly tale about a grumpy bear named Bruce, who accidentally comes to raise a flock of goslings. He tries to get rid of them, but to no avail.

Mother Bruce received a score of AD570L on the Lexile scale, making it a bit difficult for students to read independently. This would be a great book to use as a read aloud just for fun, or to teach sequence of events. This is a fun book that is humorous for both children and adults. 

Like Reblog Comment
show activity (+)
review 2017-03-14 16:29
Beauty and The Beast version C
Entreat Me - Grace Draven

Beauty and the Beast retold, okay but not the best one for me that I've read. I was so frustrated by the end.
Spoilers and questions
I'm going negative first, after being left frustrated when it finally ended.
This just didn't work for me and it's hard to place why, so many details didn't fit for me. There were more off putting points than intriguing ones. The story followed the traditional version almost like a checklist, some parts didn't fit well. They felt just thrown in just to cover all the bases. The roses were one of those that didn't fit. It felt like the roses were in the tale so that had to be tossed into the story. Why did they lust for blood ? What did they get from it ? What was their tie to the curse ? Why, Why Why ? What was with the animosity between her and the sorcerer ? Was it her lack of knowledge on magic, her hatred of it, her ability to breath ? He liked verbal sparring, liked spunky snarky women, he loved one why did he hate her ? The son, fell in love with his woman why ? Was it her amazing beauty ? That's all I got from it. The pathetic father, why was he such a wimpy useless bag of flesh ? He wasn't an alcoholic, he bedded the neighbor, and didn't seem depressed so what was wrong with him ? Why was there so much bath time ? It seemed like they spent a lot of pages bathing, or thinking about bathing. Menses, Sex, I like sex in a story but these two rutted at every opportunity.
Why did the mother/wife hate her husband so much ? Before the whole slaying/birth thing ? Why ? It was the norm of the times to live as she did. Why the extreme hatred ? Oh and how did the beast know his end time was coming ? He talked about it, enough to make me question it.
Now the good.
The female MC was a widow, and didn't believe in holding her tongue, or her fist. She had the fight response working for her. She was called a screw and owned it, head held high. She wasn't squeamish, proper, or virginal. She was physically in tune with her wants and needs and was never ashamed. I feel like I need to get the Pom Poms out and cheer for a real woman character in a fairytale.
The wicked big bad boy-man who had to have the girl, the prettiest in all the land. He was nasty, in all the right ways. He lashed out at everyone he could, such a good bad boy. I would have liked more of him in the story.
I love this tale, it is my favorite fairytale. I know the author worked hard and I appreciate her work, even with the holes I found in the story.

Like Reblog Comment
show activity (+)
text 2017-03-13 20:37
Reading progress update: I've read 63%.
Entreat Me - Grace Draven

It is Beauty and the Beast, there is the magic but it's off centered for me. I'm not sure why I am enjoying it but there is this weirdness feeling. Is it the wild rutting they seem to spend a lot of time doing ? Is it the vengeful nature of the magic ? Both maybe.

Like Reblog Comment
show activity (+)
review 2017-03-08 15:19
An Adult Version of a Classic that Left me Sleepless
Beauty of the Beast - Rachel L. Demeter

In this remake of this classic tale there is no magic, no curse, not even a singing tea cup. Belle aka Isabelle is a support your family, make sacrifices and do the best you can kind of beauty. The beast is Prince Adam is a horribly scared man emotionally and physically, his best friend is a dog named Stranger who he rescued. Sebastian, is still a servant of sort to his family, more of a friend. Belles’ tormentor is a wicked abusive man with money, power and wants to own her in the worst way. The characters are complex, the relationship is earned, in a slow painful process that I completely enjoyed.
Isabelle runs from her tormentor and home after a horrific series of events and sexual abuse at his hands. Her plan to take her blind, ill father and find a new life for them is thwarted when the weather turns and they are forced to seek shelter at a dank, depressed castle behind rusted gates. When the door opens and she is greeted by a huge man in a dark cloak and a growling giant dog she nearly turns back toward the sure death of the storm. Forcing this dark giant to let them in drawing on her determination to improve their situation she begins a series of events that had me up all night reading while my household slept.
The beast, Adam, lives in his past. He is a living nightmare, swimming with the ghost of his past day and night. Living alone in a decrepit castle with his dog and family relics. He feeds his unhappiness and sorrow with solitude and bitterness. When this woman and her father crash into his solitude he does not adjust easily and become the gentle host. He overreacts to a simple event that will cut a deep wound in Belles heart. He has little to no experience with other people, he is like a lost child acting out. He stole my heart.
Oh Ms. Demeter created a repulsive character in Raphael, Belles tormentor. Deplorable actions and words, a complete piece of rot. I couldn’t have hated him more, so what does she do ? She gives him a background that almost had me feeling sorry for the vermin. That was a tricky little twist of the knife. I was feeling a tug not he old heart strings until he pulled the trigger and killed… well I’m not telling you who. He wasn’t her only wicked man. A most trusted man broke the heart of his friend.
I can’t wait to read more from this author. She twisted me around her finger with her wonderful story telling. The words were beautifully pulled together and created an adult version that does justice to the classic.

More posts
Your Dashboard view:
Need help?