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review 2017-04-24 11:27
Will be the last last one I read by this author...
Euphoric Dreams: Part One (The Quest of Dragons) - Adrian Geiger

This is the first part of The Quest of Dragons and will most certainly be the last one I read by this author.

The list of issues I encountered in this 42 page story is almost longer than the story itself.

If you are thinking about being a writer, publishing books, please do not do what this author has done, and publish something that is barely but a first draft. EDIT YOUR WORK! Get someone else who is good at writing or editing to look it over.

Worst example of a story I've read so far! The only redeeming features, are the fact it was only 42 pages long and the fact that I paid nothing for it!

Things I noticed:

Issues including overuse of the same word in close sentences:
'Very well' is used excessively.
'Tree, deal, wall, Sapphire' all repeated too much.

Overwritten text:
'You will perish a long painful, agonising death.'
There's only four words too many in that sentence.

Changes in POV mid paragraph.

Use of 'He seen'. Wrong!

Some paragraphs are indented, while others not. This occurs the whole way through the story.

Continuity issues at 82%. The group fled with no supplies yet they unpacked supplies when they arrive at Taisai.

82% - wrong use of their:
'The three sat their(there) for a moment...'

86% - if Taisai is the multicultural hub described when they arrived, why would their presence be unusual?

93% - WTF?!? That is horse shit!

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review 2017-04-24 11:14
Quite underwhelming...
Green but for a Season: A Captive Prince Short Story (Captive Prince Short Stories Book 1) - C.S. Pacat

So I loved the Captive Prince Trilogy, like really loved it. I was super excited to see there were short stories in the same world being released and bought this one and pre-ordered the second one 3 seconds apart.

BUT

I feel this short story was quite underwhelming.

The writing, as before, was a delightful mix of sweet tender moments, inner turmoil and the big bad world of Vere, but it was rehashing information we already knew from reading the trilogy. Yes, it delves a little deeper into Jord and Aimeric's relationship, but really it left me feeling underwhelmed and a little bored.

I will likely automatically buy anything CS Pacat puts out there, I love the Captive Prince Trilogy so much, but I hope the next few short stories in this end up being better than this one.

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review 2017-04-03 10:51
An early piece by the author...
His Devil - Erik Lynd

What appears to be some sort of slice-of-life drunk dad leaves family story, swiftly takes a turn for the paranormal.

 

Scott is a young boy and the protagonist. The climax is sudden and quite unexplained and really did nothing for me.

 

The writing needs work, too many descriptors that weren't needed, too much telling and not showing (e.g. I was panicking), and in general, simplistic narrative that just seemed bland.

 

Note: only 25% of the book is actually the story, the rest is promotion of the authors other work.

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review 2017-04-03 10:23
Self-destructed as I read.
Bar Mate - Rebecca Royce

There's something about girls 'creaming' their pants that turns me off so fast it's not funny. This little piece was too heavy too quickly and really didn't do too much to keep one's interest.

The characters were flimsy at best, the sex boring and the shifter/human relationship felt totally forced.

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review 2015-10-31 09:29
Three strikes and you're out!
Poisoned Waters - Ermisenda Alvarez

Poisoned Waters sells itself as a tale of corruption. This is an apt description.

Not just from the character's POVs either. The writing style is one of the worst I've seen in recent months. It is written in a completely removed way. Passive voice alert! Not to mention the use of adjectives was abused almost as much as some of the characters in the story.

The amount of typos and issues in the text outside of the passive voice issue, were, thankfully minor. If they'd been more prominent I'd have had to stop reading.

Strike One!

My issues with the writing style and editing aside, the story was certainly complex. Everyone was screwing everyone else. Many people hit, punched, stabbed or just down right abused the female characters and when we did find a reasonably decent male character amongst the rabble, they were from a racial minority and pigeon-holed into the completely racist societal norms from the era this book is set.

Strike Two

I did not like any of the characters. I did not like the story very much and, that synopsis... Don't bring Helen into it. She's barely even in the story, she's not important. Hell, finding her murderer isn't even important.

The convoluted plot read more like an episode of Days of our Lives than a respectable novel. This needs a serious edit to cull the problems mentioned above and the seriously out of hand storyline and character arcs.

Now, the ending... This is where I was hoping to find some redeeming quality. Alas I was mistaken. I don't want to spoil the ending for any of you who are still to read this, but really... it was so unbelievable that I think I may have strained myself from rolling my eyes in disgust too much!

description

Strike Three - you're outta there!

Things I noticed:

4% - humbly stood (beside) him.
27% -'pleasure pearl' really?!
39% - She disliked being made (to) wait.
The man was no(ne) other than...
50ish% - since when did they know she had the pocket watch?
65% - "If (delete if, add Is) this all you wanted?"
66% "You're (delete You're, add Your) memory isn't...
74% - desolate desert... Desolate is redundant
88% - Several dozens (either several dozen, or just dozens)...
91% - amassed should be 'surrounded' or something similar.

**Note: I was provided an electronic copy of this book in return for an honest review**

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