By: Andy Stanley
ISBN: 9780310342199
Publisher: Zondervan Non-Fiction
Publication Date: 01/06/2015
Format: Other
My Rating: 5 stars

 

A special thank you to Zondervan and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Andy Stanley's North Point Ministries was named the Largest Church in America, this past year, and now he delivers as extraordinary fresh new look at sex, dating, and marriage— “Old Fashioned is the New Fashion”, with his insightful book, THE NEW RULES FOR LOVE, SEX, AND DATING.

The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating is a discussion guide developed for use with the four-session video, which complements and expands the material in the book. While the material in the discussion guide is intended for use with the video, some of the discussion questions will also reflect content used in the book.

The four video sessions VIDEO CLIPS HERE covering the themes of the book:

Overview
1 The Right Person Myth
2 Gentleman's Club
3 Designer Sex
4 If I Were You

This book is also meant for married couples as well as singles and even for those, like myself not dating but may have grown single children or grandchildren, or for use in the leadership of young adults.

As we all are aware, sex is leveraged to sell just about everything. Actually the promise of no strings-attached sex with a way above-average-looking person is used to sell just about everything. Sexual scandals among politicians, athletes, and celebrities. Infidelity is woven into the plot of just about every form of entertainment that involves a plot.

As you process the issues and questions surrounding your sexuality and expressions of your sexuality, don’t forget the broader context – sex isn’t just physical. It’s one component of a multifaceted biological, physiological, and psychological miracle that is you. So cherish it, protect it, preserve it, reserve it!

I loved this part: The present will be your past, which will be present in your future. Namely, pain you will experience later because of decisions you are making right now. People drag their past in their marriage and future. When sexuality and chemistry and passion dies – because they are no good at relationships.

As Stanley reiterates, God did not design marriage to fix people’s flaws. In fact, our flaws are often magnified in marriage. So flawed people bring problems into a marriage and bringing others into the mix like children will not solve the underlying problem.

So why not start now becoming the person your future spouse wants and needs. Your preparation now is worth much more than your commitment later. Pick an area of your life – debt, unresolved past issues, bad habits, dress, boundaries – and set a goal then list the steps that will put you on a path toward achieving that goal and becoming who the person - the person you’re looking for, is looking for.

Whether you still in the game, or back in a season of looking for the love of your life, this book can help. Sex and sexuality are a bit like fire. Fire in its proper context, it’s extremely destructive. The same is true for all things sexual. If you never been married or are under thirty, even if you have lived with someone you underestimate the complexity of your sexuality and the long-term ramifications of your sexual conduct.

As Stanley uses the example: “Sex is like nutrition", regardless of your taste and preferences, nutritional principles determine the outcome of what you eat. Our bodies share a similar design when it comes to our sexuality to be expressed within a specific context. You can choose to express your sexuality outside the parameters of that divine design. But you can’t choose the outcome. If you’re like most people you’ll do everything in your power to control the outcome. But eventually you will lose that battle as well, perhaps you’ve experienced the futility of trying to control outcomes.

Romance is fueled by exclusivity. Practice makes perfect does not apply to sex. This is why practice undermines the essence of romance. You have no control over when or if you’ll meet your right person. What you can control is what you do in the meantime. So become the person you’re looking for and they are looking for; prepare to commit. Who knows there may be someone out there preparing for you as well!

On a Personal Note:

Andy Stanley is a former pastor of mine, and have enjoyed his teachings, Christian leadership, and his insightful books, as well as his father, Dr. Charles Stanley.

When I moved to Atlanta in early 1994, my sons were away at college in another state; I was single, divorced, and in my late thirties. I was fortunate to become an integral part of what is now North Point Ministries, from the beginning of its inception in l995.

For the first three years we met every other Sunday night in rented facilities, and when the Olympics came to town, we were unable to meet for nine weeks. Later the land was purchased in Alpharetta, GA and construction began –what is now North Point –some great times, a huge singles group, and many budding friendships grew out of this fabulous foundation.

However, since I lived in Buckhead, was thrilled when in 2001, became a part of the Buckhead Church and again we held services in rented facilities in different areas of town. I was part of the group meeting in a renovated grocery store each week on Roswell Road that first Easter Sunday in 2003 in Buckhead, and later became an active member, a pre-school director and a women’s small group leader in the church.

It was so exciting with the preparations building our new church; however, I relocated, for work to Florida in 2006 and have been here since. I missed the permanent facility at Tower Place in the heart of Buckhead in May 2007 where the church is thriving today. (Cannot wait to go back for a visit). However, even though in Florida, I often read Andy Stanley’s books, and listen to his messages online—recalling those precious days under his leadership and the wonderful fellowship and supportive group of singles and friends. (All singles need friends like these)!

Highly Recommend!

Buy NEW RULES FOR LOVE, SEX, AND DATING a thought-provoking guide and listen to the videos. No matter where you are in your life or your spiritual journey – it will change how you think about the present and the future. Well done!

 

Miss you guys at Buckhead Church Atlanta.

The Question That Will Revolutionize How You Make Decisions
By Andy Stanley
ISBN: 9781601427182
Publisher: WaterBrook Multnomah Publishers
Publication Date: 10/21/2014
Format: Other
My Rating: 5 Stars 

 

A special thank you to WaterBrook Multnomah Publishers and NetGalley for a complimentary reading copy in exchange for an honest review.

ASK IT: The Question That Will Revolutionize How You Make Decisions, by Andy Stanley is a guide to life’s challenging questions, and the principle behind this valuable question drawn from years of his life’s journey –a life message.

We all have regrets and do not get do overs. Possibly our regret could have been avoided if we had asked a particular question and acted upon it. In hind sight the conclusion would most likely have been different.

Divided into six helpful parts, where you apply the key question to the areas of your life, offering a new perspective for your relationships, love life, career, financial, and family life.

The Question is an introduction of the big question.

The Alternatives offers common and dangerous alternatives to asking the big question.

A Question of Mortality and Wisdom for Asking is about applying the question to our lives, time, and relationships.

The Best Decision Ever is the secret known to all the best decision makers.

Study Guide is a challenge to reach the best decision and receive maximum benefit from the question.

Stanley mentions this is a principle behind this valuable question drawn from years of his life’s journey – A life’s message. What is the wise thing to do?” But it’s not always an easy question to ask. Sometimes it can be a bit threatening, because it exposes so much about our hearts and our motives. But that’s just one more reason it’s so revolutionizing.

Andy directs our attention to Proverbs 28:26. Why does living wisely require a certain lack of trust in ourselves? Those who trust in themselves are fools. But those who walk in wisdom are kept safe. Regret-free living is found on the path of wisdom. His message is a hope that you will walk wisely and experience God’s deliverance in all the days of your life.

And if we’re honest with ourselves, God will use this question in the deepest parts of our lives to help take us to the place of our fullest potential. Stanley encourages us to use the question as it becomes a permanent part of our decision making process to guide and protect us in the days to come. Ephesians 5:15-17

ASK IT is a revised and updated version of his earlier book, The Best Question Ever (2004) with an added section (wise person, fool, and the mocker from Proverbs) which replaces the money section and also contains a helpful study guide as we learn to walk as wise men.

Having read Andy Stanley’s books for years, and an active member of the Buckhead Church, part of the North Point Ministries, in Atlanta; having served as pre-school leader, as well as a small group leader, under his leadership, before moving to West Palm Beach, FL several years ago, I highly recommend his insights and wisdom with this helpful book to help guide us on our daily path and journey to God’s will, in an easy to follow format.

Would also recommend The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating by Andy Stanley (currently reading an advanced reading copy), coming 1/15/2015, as he explores the challenges, assumptions, and land mines associated with dating in the twenty-first century. Best of all, he offers the most practical and uncensored advice you will ever hear on this topic.

How Good is Good Enough? (LifeChange Books) by Andy Stanley (?)

Visioneering: God's Blueprint for Developing and Maintaining Personal Vision by Andy Stanley (?)

Some of my friends will really bristle at Stanley's concept of a one point sermon. I probably would have too if it were not for two factors. The first is that my preaching professor, Dr. J. Ellsworth Kalas, encouraged his students to lean in this direction. The man is in his late eighties and has been preaching and studying the art of preaching since he was a teenager, so I trust him. The second reason is that I have sat through all kinds of multi-point sermons since infancy and the ones that I still remember where the simple ones.
Recently, I preached a sermon that I was hoping to motivate life change. What I got afterwards were comments on how interesting it was. Grrrr.
Don't get me wrong. I love deep, scholarly, verse by verse expository preaching --heck I love reading commentaries for crying out loud --but the majority of people sitting in the pew aren't that type of learner. We shouldn't punish them because they are not. That's what a Pharisee would do. Jesus taught mostly in parables-- simple, one point sermons.

Ok. So enough of my defense for the gist of the book. There is a lot of helpful material in his book that can help Christian teachers and preachers connect with their audience in order to present the gospel clearly. There is some occasional mega church, business model, marketing drivel, but over all I found it to be good, easy to read, and easy to remember.