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review 2017-11-22 15:43
Funny Amazon Reviews Aren't So Funny When Read Out Loud
Funny Amazon Reviews - Jane Lynch,Jane Lynch,Audible Comedy

I woke up this morning, let out the dog and stepped my bare foot into a steaming pile of cat vomit one of my furry demons so thoughtfully left for me on the mat nearest the door. Last week it was mouse innards (On My NAKED Foot!!) so I know from personal experience that it could always be worse. Much worse, actually. Still, after that stellar start to the morning I needed a little laugh on my commute to work before I started thinking bad thoughts and decided to give this one a listen.

 

Maybe it's my current sour mood or just the fact that I've already read 80% of these funny reviews on Amazon, but listening to them barely made me crack a smile. I think they work better on Amazon where you can actually see the product they're riffing on, especially the wolf shirt. You've got to see that wolf shirt if you haven't already. It's also a helluva lot more fun when you can read the accompanying funny reviews of the item because usually once someone starts it spirals into a page filled with wacky reviews.

 

I'll give this a three because I guess I liked it a little.

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review SPOILER ALERT! 2017-11-09 11:58
16 Tasks of the Festive Season: Square 1 - Calan Gaeaf: Nemo Granny & Greebo Impune Lacessit*
Carpe Jugulum (Discworld, #23) - Terry Pratchett

Well, I guess that's what happens if you p*$$ off Granny Weatherwax (however unintentionally) and make her take to a cave in the Lancrastian mountains ... next thing you know, you have vampires moving into the castle, and into the kingdom as such.  And since they were foolishly invited in to begin with, they're near impossible to get rid of again; and let's face it, Nanny Ogg, Magrat and Agnes between them might be witches; they might even meet the requirements of a proper coven now that Magrat is a mother, but they aren't Granny, not even with all their forces combined.  (Perdita, now ...) 

So all of Lancre and the reader have to jointly suffer for well over half a book before Granny decides she's let things go on for long enough and finally makes an appearance.  And of course she ultimately saves the day, even if only by the skin of her neck and with the assistance of inner voices, a few drops of blood, the general and specific allure of tea, and a meak priest discovering his inner Brutha just in time.  (Of course it also comes in handy that somebody thought of bringing a double-edged axe, and that some vampires of the older generation still have a sense of tradition left.)

(spoiler show)

 

Nice going, at any rate, on the debunking of what "everybody knows who knows anything about vampires" (including the vampires themselves, who however just don't learn ... or didn't until this new breed came around, that is), and big grins all around for the co-starring Wee Free Men.  My favorite moment, however, came courtesy of Greebo -- who by the way also has decidedly too little stage time -- with the incidental appearance of an otherwise entirely negligable vampire named Vargo:

"As the eye of narrative drew back from the coffin on its stand, two things happened.  One happened comparatively slowly, and this was Vargo's realization that he never recalled the coffin having a pillow before.

 

The other was Greebo deciding that he was as mad as hell and wasn't going to take it any more.  He'd been shaken around in the wheely thing, and then sat on by Nanny, and he was angry about that because he knew, in a dim, animal way, that scratching Nanny might be the single most stupid thing he could do in the whole world, since no one else was prepared to feed him.  This hadn't helped his temper.

 

Then he'd encountered a dog, which had triled to lick him.  He'd scratched and bitten it a few times, but this had had no effect apart from encouraging it to try to be more friendly.

 

He'd finally found a comfy resting place and had curled up into a ball, and now someone was using him as a cushion --

 

There wasn't a great deal of noise.  The coffin rocked a few times, and then pivoted around.

 

Greebo sheathed his claws and went back to sleep."

(I think someone else included this in their review recently, too, but it's just too good not to do it again -- all the more since Greebo, overall, really is as woefully long absent as Granny in this one.)

 

Read for Square 1 of the 16 Tasks of the Festive Season, Calan Gaeaf: "Read any of your planned Halloween Bingo books that you didn’t end up reading after all, involving witches, hags, or various types of witchcraft."

 

* "Don't mess with Granny and Greebo."  Or somewhat more literally: "Nobody messes with Granny and Greebo unpunished."

 

Merken

Merken

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text 2017-11-07 18:44
Reading progress update: I've read 175 out of 425 pages.
Carpe Jugulum (Discworld, #23) - Terry Pratchett

 

This is one of my left-over Halloween Bingo books; I'm reading it for the Calan Gaeaf part of square 1 of the "16 Tasks of the Festive Season". 

 

I started this book last night because I urgently needed a comfort read after Val McDermid's disappointing Forensics.  So far, it's not really doing the job, however ... too little Granny Weatherwax!  (And decidedly also too little Greebo, for that matter.)  I trust Granny will return in time for the grand finale, but man ... a Discworld Witches book where she scarcely even shows her face during almost the entire first half of the book?  What was Pratchett doing, trying to demonstrate what an essential part of the Witches subseries Granny is?  Thank you, I already knew that without having it jammed into my face sledgehammer-style!

 

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review 2017-11-07 00:18
Review: Risking It (Stolen Moments #2) by Angela Quarles
Risking It: A Romantic Comedy (Stolen Moments Book 2) - Angela Quarles

This story was delightfully sexy, quirky, and so much fun! It’s the second book in the Stolen Moments series but it can totally be read as a standalone. 

In short, Aiden and Jane had a fun night together, but strange and great thing, they only netflix’ed and chill, literally, and to them it was enough to know there could be more between them. However and apparently because no one taught them how to communicate, and because you know, pride and prejudice before getting to know people, they parted ways and ended up not talking after that one night. 

I thought the way those two went from strangers to friends to lovers was managed in a super fun and brilliant way. They obviously liked each other physically but they knew that jumping into the “sex” wagon at the first chance was going to lead nowhere but heartache. Jane had serious self-doubt issues and Aiden had a history of relationships ending badly. Their friendship was handled in an incredibly gratifying way and at the perfect pace and their playfulness made them more relatable. 
I had some problems with the way Jane’s generalized bookworms solely based on her own lack of confidence however I was ruined for life with the way Aiden opened up to her and the way he behaved during the road trip and afterwards. I think he became one of my favorite BBF ever! Overall this was a great love story and I’m looking forward for more books by this author.


** I was gifted a copy of this book and I volunteered to read it; this is my honest opinion and given without any influence by the author or publisher.**
 (les

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review 2017-11-05 17:51
Eve's Christmas Wedding, Caroline MIckelson

I enjoyed this clean Christmas fantasy story. I received this story for free and I voluntarily chose to review it. I gave it a 4.5* rating. It was funny and fun with a little bit of romance. It's a nice Christmas feel good story.

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