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“See what I’ve left behind. I’ve come a long Milky Way to find my guardian.” Ali chuckles. “Except I don’t really guard you. I like to let you be free, my Liam. How does it feel now being back home?” I consider him and think about his words. Ali is my guardian but he doesn’t keep me in a locked box. His love protects me and lets me be whoever I am. Free. “This is where I grew up. You. Are my home. And wherever you are, Ali, I’ll be there.” Ali pulls me close and we kiss. A light breeze grazes our skin. We’re surrounded by the rustling sound of the long grass and the lingering scent of sea and sand

“I am a whore in the bedroom but I’m pretty useless around the house and I can’t cook. Sorry, I’m not husband material at all.” I wink to show him I’m not serious about all this. Ali’s eyes sparkle. “I love you anyway, Liam Murphy. It’s not about sex or how good you are at making toast.” He laughs. “I love your sense of humour. I love your vulnerability. You always listen to me when I need to talk. I like how you make me feel better. Shall I go on?” I freeze. Boyfriend is one thing. I’m still scared by the declaration of love. I’m all these things to him? I had no idea! I want to run out of his house once again. My heart is thumping, from fright or excitement I can’t tell. But Ali’s not letting my rambling thoughts fester. He makes short shrift of his clothes ready for his brand of love making. Why has it taken me months to realise he is the one I want? The only one

“I love you.”
Oh, fuck. I’m not going to cry, again. I really am not. But the tears fall and they keep falling. I try to dry them with my hands. Ali takes over.
“I hope they’re tears of joy.”
Choked by my own ridiculousness, I mumble, “No one’s ever loved me.”
“I do.”
I stare through the tears at Ali’s open face.
“And you deserve to beloved. Those other people are obviously idiots.”
My sobs become more desperate. How old am I? Fucking twelve? “Damn you. Stop making me cry.”
He chuckles.
I manage to stop myself eventually

Hi, Emily. You don’t know me. My name’s Liam and I’m Ali’s boyfriend. If you’ve been watching us from wherever, you know that already, though.” I swallow. “I’m sorry about what happened. Ali really loved you. I have no doubt about that. But...”
I read through the hymns and the music, including Satie’s Gnossienne. At the funeral, Ali read a poem called ‘Remember Me’ by Margaret Mead.
To the living, I am gone.
To the sorrowful, I will never return.
To the angry, I was cheated.
But to the happy, I am at peace.
And to the faithful, I have never left.
It’s as though Emily is speaking to me, telling me that she can be happy for us. Her sister’s anger is not going to bring her back. I
hope it’s true. I find myself tearing up, even though I didn’t know her. I can imagine how moving Ali’s recitation was. “Ali and I are happy and I think you would be supportive of him. Your sister’s angry because she’s hurt but Ali has no intention of causing her pain. Or your parents. Please, wish me luck”