THE GIRL IN THE RED HOOD has been looking for her mother for six months, searching from the depths of New York’s subways to the heights of its skyscrapers . . .

THE PRINCE looks like he’s from another time entirely, or maybe he’s just too good at his job at Ye Old Renaissance Faire . . .

THE ACTRESS is lighting up Hollywood Boulevard with her spellbinding and strikingly convincing portrayal of a famous fairy. Her name may be big, but her secrets barely fit in one world . . .

Fifteen-year-old Crescenzo never would have believed his father’s carvings were anything more than “stupid toys.” All he knows is a boring life in an ordinary Virginia suburb, from which his mother and his best friend have been missing for years. When his father disappears next, all Crescenzo has left is his goofy neighbor, Pietro, who believes he’s really Peter Pan and that Crescenzo is the son of Pinocchio. What’s more: Pietro insists that they can find their loved ones by looking to the strange collection of wooden figurines Crescenzo’s father left behind.

With Pietro’s help, Crescenzo sets off on an adventure to unite the real life counterparts to his figurines. It’s enough of a shock that they’re actually real, but the night he meets the Girl in the Red Hood, dark truths burst from the past. Suddenly, Crescenzo is tangled in a nightmare where magic mirrors and evil queens rule, and where everyone he loves is running out of time.

***Disclaimer: I received a free copy in exchange for a review.***

What’s Good: an decent twist on what’s becoming a clichéd, stale idea. Fantasy characters migrating to the Real World and having to return to save everything is nothing new. Author Jacob Devlin invests the tropes with a bit of new life, which is all you can ask for. He also works all the loose ends of the plot into a neat little package; at about 65% or so you’re all caught up. Chapters are short, making for fast and easy reading.

What’s Bad: all the inconsistency. The setting seems lifted- or should I say ‘inspired by’- practically every existing Disney cartoon. It’s more mish-mash than mashup; all manner of fictional and historical characters- including Merlin, Kaa the Snake, Dr. Frankenstein and Mulan- come and go in Fairyland but no rhyme or reason as to how they got there or how it all works- especially at the finale when some of the characters end up in yet another fantasy realm. It’s all there to support the story without consequence and you’re just going to have to roll with it.

Dialogue- like most everything about the book, it seems to be kind of all over the place, almost like it was written freeform. One moment characters are speaking proper, stilted language and the next they’re saying ‘wanna, gonna, ain’t, buddy…’

Typical of a mish-mash, the characters exhibit some of the dumbest behavior at the worst times simply to advance the plot. And it’s pretty tiresome. This kind of stuff isn’t heroic- it’s idiotic, and far too often a crutch authors lean on. How about smarter, more capable villains?

There’s also the plot device of telling the story out of phase, alternating between Real World Now for the current situation and Fairyland Three Years Ago or Fairyland Twenty-Five Years Ago to reveal the backstory. Just when you’d be in the flow of one scenario you’re thrown into another, breaking up the rhythm. And sometimes it’d take several chapters to return to a setting, so you may have forgotten a thing or two and have to go back.

What’s Left: some badly executed good ideas. Nuggets of a story that need sharpening up, otherwise this isn’t a Young Adult story but a Middle Grade one.

2.5/5 stars.

Ok...

Rosana, Pietro and Enzo follow Peter's shadow to a RenFaire in Maryland, with the bad guys hot on the trail.  Despite everything that's happened, Enzo is still being written as a skeptic- just because.  Rosana disappears; turns out she put her hood up, invoking its invisibility magic.  Yet she's so dumb that she doesn't realize once she takes the hood off she's back- even though Enzo spots her immediately.

At the RenFaire they encounter Prince Liam, Snow's hubby- who's been stuck here posing as a knife thrower ever since Hansel zapped him.  Strange how he still doesn't know jack-shit about the rest of the world or appear to have actually done a damn thing other than just be at the faire all this time.,,

So after another encounter with bad guys, Liam manages to sneak them out of the faire in a caged wagon... yeah.  Mulan shows up and whisks them all away in her private jet to Hollywood to find their next member- Violet- who's a big time actress attending the red carpet premier of her new Peter Pan movie (this is a running gag throughout the story).

So- how does one track down an A-list actress at a big event? Forget rubbing shoulders with them during the proceedings- just shout out their Fairyland name while they're taping an interview.  They'll come running to your rescue while you scuffle with security.  Works every time.

As they're slipping away form the gala, Hansel and the dwarves arrive; after more exposition, Hansel uses those magic darts to zap Rosana, Pietro and someone else- honestly I don't give a shit right now- back to Fairyland.  Ezno loses it and demands answers.

It's a good thing I'm moving towards the end, 'cause I was finished with this shit a long time ago.

Rosana, Pietro and Enzo talk more and come to an understanding; Pietro's shadow steals two of the figurines and takes off.  Pietro knows where it's headed- Maryland.

Fairyland Three Years Ago: The dwarves ask Violet for help; she realizes the Ivory Queen's got her hooks into Hansel and they decide to destroy the mirror.

Inside the mirror, Hansel is communing with the Queen.  She flat out states she's feeding him darkness and dark power, but he doesn't care- this is how it should be.  Suddenly things start shaking and rumbling; Hansel zaps out of the mirror to find Prince Liam & the dwarves pounding on it.  Chaos ensues.  Liam's a good swordsman- he's been trained by Mulan, y'know- but remains on the defensive.  He's actually never killed anything and has the rep of being a softie.  Hansel sticks him with one of those magic darts- courtesy of the Queen- and he falls, then disappears.

Scared shitless, the dwarves cower and Hansel uses his newfound power to charm them into serving him.  So I guess all the players are in place now.

So looks like this is an Ever After ripoff or something, ok- "Inspired By..."  But it's not so much mashup as mish-mash.  Whatever he thinks is cool or offbeat gets jammed into the story, mostly as references, but still knocks you out of the moment.

And I still don't really care.  Anyone ever seen this movie: Avengers Grimm?  This book feels a lot like that- Jim C. Hines meets Roger Corman.

Rosana, Pietro and Enzo come to grips with their situation.  Pietro still won't tell Enzo he can fly, even though Rosana brought it up.

Back to Fairyland Three Years Ago: the Seven Dwarves are unsure what to do about their roommate, Hansel. and his mirror.  One of them, Wayde, tells how Hansel even struck him.  But as Hansel 'owns' the mine and they know he's still stressing out about his sister, they're not sure what to do.

Now we go back to Fairyland Twenty Five Years Ago:  Being the tweens that they are, Pinocchio, Alice and Peter make their way to the Ivory Queen's castle- scared shitless but still determined.  Peter flies ahead while Alice and Pinocchio keep to the path.  Except it's not a path under their feet- it's a hundred foot long snake.

Peter's shadow, has a mind of its own, and flies off to see Wendy, so he's got no choice but to follow.  They make up; he tells her about their daring plan to become grown-ups and his shadow flies off again- presumably back to Pin & Alice.  Peter decides to stay with Wendy a bit longer.

(yawn)