I am done! Done, done, done with this novel. I am hugely disappointed with Hoover.

THIS IS NOT OK!

I hate when authors use other people's illness to build up their main character. It's wrong on so many levels, it's completely disrespectful and insulting. Hoover inadvertently says it's ok to lie to people if they are sick, it's ok to treat them differently because of it. It's ok to set them apart. That has another name, too..

Let's talk about Maggie, Ridge's sweet girlfriend who is sick with a terminal illness. Came to the point where she got so sick and had to be taken in to hospital, where Sydney finds out about her. I FLIPPED OUT!

So this is the reason why Ridge is so hell bent on staying with Maggie, she's sick. And we are supposed to say what? Awww Ridge you're a guy and a half! Living with the woman you are falling in love with and lusting over, but not being honest to the sick girl because of your guilt trip. Well here's a news flash: Maggie is a person, Maggie is not pathetic because she's sick, Maggie deserves the same consideration you give to the other cheating bastards in this story. She is used as a backdrop to highlight Ridge's maturity, her illness a cliché tearjerker that is supposed to enhance the angst in this novel. Low blow.

Ridge is placed up on a pedestal because of his choice of not leaving a sick girlfriend behind, no matter how he truly feels about her, because he RESPECTS Maggie.

If he really respected Maggie, and her illness he would have been honest, and given her the benefit of a doubt that she can think for herself. What do you think Maggie's choice would be? Would she like to be in a relationship with a dishonest cheating asshole, that is only staying in a relationship with her because he feels guilty, and he believes that's what's expected of him? Or do you think that she deserves enough RESPECT to make her own choices in her life, and to maybe find somebody that's not lying to her face because of imagined obligations? Here's a quote:

She sighs and turns her head, looking straight up to the ceiling. “I’m fine. It was just an insulin issue.” She turns back to face me. “You can’t baby me every time this happens, Ridge.”

My jaw clenches at “baby me.” “I’m not babying you, Maggie. I’m loving you. I’m taking care of you. There’s a difference.” - oh really? What about all the touching, all the kissing, all the messaging with Sydney? All the lyric writing, and singing?

Loving you? Taking care of you? UP YOURS RIDGE!

Just how do you think that poor Maggie would feel if she knew the truth? Would it make her happy to know her boyfriend thinks she's so pathetic because she's sick, she doesn't deserve to be treated equally? That all of his lies, and taking care of her comes out of his inability to deal with HIMSELF in this situation, to know he's not moving on with his life because he couldn't live with himself if he did. And finally after knowing all that, realizing that no matter what he says, this is not even remotely about her, it's all about him. Wow what a man, what a keeper, what a fucking hero.

Ridge knew he was attracted to Sydney when he moved her in. If he wanted to do the right thing, he would have helped her find a place to stay. Sydney knew she had the hots for Ridge, and after she found out he had a girlfriend, she should have done the respectable thing and pissed off. Ridge and Sydney are Tori and Hunter. Double standards? Hell yes, and I HATE DOUBLE STANDARDS! And the rest? What kind of message is Hoover trying to send? 

They knew what they were doing. Ridge is a cheating, pitiful asshole, and Sydney a self-absorbed hypocrite. I had enough of this shit.

THIS BOOK WAS HILARIOUS!!!

I was torn between a 1 star review, and a 5 star review. If this book was meant to be as it read, a parody, honestly only the sky would be the limit.

But alas it wasn't and therefore, you got served! :D

Let's start with Lexi shall we? She is a social care worker, and that seems to be a superpower, because it is enough to portray her amazing selflessness, and allows her to jump to some pretty awesome conclusions in life. Like this:

“George, my bipolar neighbor, would never lay a hand on me. The guy loves me! Being a caseworker, the first time we spoke, I picked up on his behavior right away.”

Poor George....and what else???

“I have told George that I worked with a lot of people who suffered mental illness, and if he felt a panic attack coming on that I would be there for him....” ain't she a saint? Awwww, and so completely clueless about bipolarity for someone who works with mental illness.

But hold your horses folks! The show isn't over yet! She gets attacked by a would-be rapist in front of her house, and saved by her stalker. Her caseworker superpowers obviously stretch further to give her superhuman hearing as this occurs: “Eventually, I hear soft pings hit the ground and realize my attacker has lost some teeth."

You gotta admit, that's something else right there.

Does she call the police? You know - as a social worker, who deals with victims on a daily basis, as well as mental illness of course, she knows how important it is to have someone like that off the streets. Nope. Her savior and stalker says “It's taken care off” and she shrugs.

Her stalker is a man by the name of Twitch, colored pretty with an array of gang tatts, and wears a signature black hoodie, whilst engaging in some light afternoon stalking. And yet again, here we see the evidence of the awesome reasoning superpowers of being a caseworker.

“I always see him on the street, wearing the same clothes. My caseworker brain automatically assumes he's homeless.” -seems legit.

“I know that everyone is different (you don't say), but what I am sure about Twitch is that he's a sociopath.” - I agree, especially taking in account one of characteristics of sociopathic behavior being unable to empathize with the pain of others. Such as he didn't, when he saved her ass from getting raped and all that jazz.

Conclusion...she's real smart and stuff.

In the aftermath of her attack she's left to deal with being “Blue, a little like a two dollar ho, and still shaken from last night's attack.” -understandable, I guess. So she cheers herself up by singing Ginuwine's hit track Pony. You know it?

If your horny, Let's do it
Ride it, My Pony
My saddle's waiting
Come and jump on it …. yup trauma does weird shit to people.

Anyhoo – the sociopath homeless stalker keeps breaking into her apartment to pant at her neck like a mastiff while she sleeps, and the inevitable sex scene happens. Now I've heard of tantric sex, but this is impressive on a whole new level, as it helps her deal with herself and the world around her.

“..he pushes the tip of his thumb into my back entrance...and I know what this is. This is Twitch asserting his role.” LMFAO ass-erting, oh dear god, couldn't make this shit up even if I tried.

Apparently for reaching the inner equilibrium in one's life, you require nothing but a finger up your ass. Quick, somebody call the monks! They've been doing it wrong all these years!!!

Did I mention his pierced cock?

That does things to her like: “...having my G-spot tickled...” - oh,for the love of all things holey. I mean I can relate to that, witch girl doesn't like to have her G-spot tickled? And of course, never being the one to shy away from using her caseworker deduction techniques, Lexi chooses to add to her description of Twitch as being so much more then a homeless sociopath as she  provides us with a deeper insight behind the chosen ornamentation of his phallus.“I think it takes a selfless man to pierce his cock just for the pleasure of women" - Just how deep is that? Ghandi, pack your shit, and get the hell out, we got a new player in town. “He rocks into me, and the connection – the closeness – feels almost intimate.” -strange how having sex would do that, really.

Then there is the very different orgasm: “...he thrusts so hard, so deeply into me, that it feels like I am bouncing on a trampoline.”

Alrighty then. Guess she did get to ride the Pony after all.

After the sex that is clearly transcends this plane of existence, we have Lexi struggling to find out just who Twitch really is. Even when he introduces himself as a co-owner of a multimillion plastics factory, she doesn't get it. She's been to his office, and didn't get it. She didn't use her mad caseworker skills to I dunno....google it. She would have us think that he is using his gangsta self, with his gangsta tattoos, to sell Tupperware in some back alley, surrounded by his homies. I know..thug life be hard, y'all.

If I listed every single nugget that made me crack up reading this, I would soon run out of internet. Still tho i want to take this opportunity to say thank you to everybody who has taken the time to recommend this unique masterpiece to me. I can't remember the last time i have laughed so hard while reading a book. xD

One thing that I can say I loved about this book – the cover.

The rest is well.....Tijan.

I have read a lot of her books in the past, and I have to say she is tragically repetitive. What blew me away in her first novels, disappointed me in the rest, because she seems to use the same ingredients for each and every novel she writes. Considering that she wrote quite a few, you wind up with the same old routine, but different costumes. It gets old real quick.

Her preferences are creating deeply traumatized female characters in some form of social isolation. That social isolation can be real, with the character having limited friends, or self-imposed with the character's perceived disentanglement from society due to past issues that affect her current mental state. Tijan also uses the character's history to portray emotional maturity that reaches above normally expected standards in a younger group of people. That on it's own is nothing new, and often used, because our past defines us all, but what Tijan doesn't allow are the same standards for her supporting characters.

The heroine, in this book that would be Taryn, interacts with a large number of supporting female characters, and all of them are found lacking in some way. Taryn often observes conversations and social situations, then provides inner monologue dissecting the reasoning behind the behavior of those characters, and even if it's not outright mockery, the observations often point out need for social acceptance and romantic happiness in a condescending kind of way. The emotional maturity doesn't stretch out the supporting female characters, even by the way of common sense, as they are often portrayed as shallow, promiscuous and petty. Even the closest friends and family in the main character's inner circle often display cruelty, selfishness and willful lack of understanding. All of that is carefully layered with the purpose of setting the main character apart, and proving just how different, and by her way of understanding better she is then everybody else.

With all the females portrayed (and effectively eliminated as competition, both mentally and physically) as catty, overly feminine (in a bad way), immature or simply stupid, we are left with a need find a balance for Taryn. That balance comes in the shape of our leading male character – Trey.The male character shows acceptance of our heroine trough intense sexuality, and serves as a focus to sharpen the uniqueness of the heroine. Since Taryn is a league of her own, it is only natural that she gets the alpha male specimen of the entire possible cast. The rich, beautiful, womanizing, i-don't-give-a-shit-about-anything, unrepentant bad boy, that won't be tamed by any woman. Except our leading lady, but that is to be expected, as she is the only one female in a 200 mile radius, armed with an IQ that's higher then the current room temperature.

Second signature Tijan's focus is obsession with social status. But it really didn't work in this particular book. Taryn gets involved in unmasking of a drug lord, solving a murder and kidnapping, then follows up with her own criminal activity. All of this is set in a high school environment, where the food chain is mercilessly displayed of having life changing impact. Tijan's leading characters, purposely or not, always wind up on the top of the IN crowd, getting respect and often steam-rolling over any competition. The depth of character, emotional maturity and the aim of accomplishing strong individuality in Taryn clashes with juvenile descriptions of school hierarchy and how desperately important they are. When in fact, they are not. Social grouping happens everywhere, but in Tijan's world it's often portrayed as the second most important thing after the life experiences of her leading characters. In 'A whole new crowd' that created a feeling of kids playing adults (especially when Trey said to Taryn that he was expected by the entire school to deal with her after she insulted the 'top' crowd) that didn't allow the reader to appreciate the dangerous story she tried to tell.

All in all, this was a different type of novel for Tijan. I was recommended this novel with the promise that Taryn is tamer as a character, and that it doesn't have such a desperate feel that follows her other novels. In a sense, that was true, but still, I expected more.