I am done! Done, done, done with this novel. I am hugely disappointed with Hoover.

THIS IS NOT OK!

I hate when authors use other people's illness to build up their main character. It's wrong on so many levels, it's completely disrespectful and insulting. Hoover inadvertently says it's ok to lie to people if they are sick, it's ok to treat them differently because of it. It's ok to set them apart. That has another name, too..

Let's talk about Maggie, Ridge's sweet girlfriend who is sick with a terminal illness. Came to the point where she got so sick and had to be taken in to hospital, where Sydney finds out about her. I FLIPPED OUT!

So this is the reason why Ridge is so hell bent on staying with Maggie, she's sick. And we are supposed to say what? Awww Ridge you're a guy and a half! Living with the woman you are falling in love with and lusting over, but not being honest to the sick girl because of your guilt trip. Well here's a news flash: Maggie is a person, Maggie is not pathetic because she's sick, Maggie deserves the same consideration you give to the other cheating bastards in this story. She is used as a backdrop to highlight Ridge's maturity, her illness a cliché tearjerker that is supposed to enhance the angst in this novel. Low blow.

Ridge is placed up on a pedestal because of his choice of not leaving a sick girlfriend behind, no matter how he truly feels about her, because he RESPECTS Maggie.

If he really respected Maggie, and her illness he would have been honest, and given her the benefit of a doubt that she can think for herself. What do you think Maggie's choice would be? Would she like to be in a relationship with a dishonest cheating asshole, that is only staying in a relationship with her because he feels guilty, and he believes that's what's expected of him? Or do you think that she deserves enough RESPECT to make her own choices in her life, and to maybe find somebody that's not lying to her face because of imagined obligations? Here's a quote:

She sighs and turns her head, looking straight up to the ceiling. “I’m fine. It was just an insulin issue.” She turns back to face me. “You can’t baby me every time this happens, Ridge.”

My jaw clenches at “baby me.” “I’m not babying you, Maggie. I’m loving you. I’m taking care of you. There’s a difference.” - oh really? What about all the touching, all the kissing, all the messaging with Sydney? All the lyric writing, and singing?

Loving you? Taking care of you? UP YOURS RIDGE!

Just how do you think that poor Maggie would feel if she knew the truth? Would it make her happy to know her boyfriend thinks she's so pathetic because she's sick, she doesn't deserve to be treated equally? That all of his lies, and taking care of her comes out of his inability to deal with HIMSELF in this situation, to know he's not moving on with his life because he couldn't live with himself if he did. And finally after knowing all that, realizing that no matter what he says, this is not even remotely about her, it's all about him. Wow what a man, what a keeper, what a fucking hero.

Ridge knew he was attracted to Sydney when he moved her in. If he wanted to do the right thing, he would have helped her find a place to stay. Sydney knew she had the hots for Ridge, and after she found out he had a girlfriend, she should have done the respectable thing and pissed off. Ridge and Sydney are Tori and Hunter. Double standards? Hell yes, and I HATE DOUBLE STANDARDS! And the rest? What kind of message is Hoover trying to send? 

They knew what they were doing. Ridge is a cheating, pitiful asshole, and Sydney a self-absorbed hypocrite. I had enough of this shit.

THIS BOOK WAS HILARIOUS!!!

I was torn between a 1 star review, and a 5 star review. If this book was meant to be as it read, a parody, honestly only the sky would be the limit.

But alas it wasn't and therefore, you got served! :D

Let's start with Lexi shall we? She is a social care worker, and that seems to be a superpower, because it is enough to portray her amazing selflessness, and allows her to jump to some pretty awesome conclusions in life. Like this:

“George, my bipolar neighbor, would never lay a hand on me. The guy loves me! Being a caseworker, the first time we spoke, I picked up on his behavior right away.”

Poor George....and what else???

“I have told George that I worked with a lot of people who suffered mental illness, and if he felt a panic attack coming on that I would be there for him....” ain't she a saint? Awwww, and so completely clueless about bipolarity for someone who works with mental illness.

But hold your horses folks! The show isn't over yet! She gets attacked by a would-be rapist in front of her house, and saved by her stalker. Her caseworker superpowers obviously stretch further to give her superhuman hearing as this occurs: “Eventually, I hear soft pings hit the ground and realize my attacker has lost some teeth."

You gotta admit, that's something else right there.

Does she call the police? You know - as a social worker, who deals with victims on a daily basis, as well as mental illness of course, she knows how important it is to have someone like that off the streets. Nope. Her savior and stalker says “It's taken care off” and she shrugs.

Her stalker is a man by the name of Twitch, colored pretty with an array of gang tatts, and wears a signature black hoodie, whilst engaging in some light afternoon stalking. And yet again, here we see the evidence of the awesome reasoning superpowers of being a caseworker.

“I always see him on the street, wearing the same clothes. My caseworker brain automatically assumes he's homeless.” -seems legit.

“I know that everyone is different (you don't say), but what I am sure about Twitch is that he's a sociopath.” - I agree, especially taking in account one of characteristics of sociopathic behavior being unable to empathize with the pain of others. Such as he didn't, when he saved her ass from getting raped and all that jazz.

Conclusion...she's real smart and stuff.

In the aftermath of her attack she's left to deal with being “Blue, a little like a two dollar ho, and still shaken from last night's attack.” -understandable, I guess. So she cheers herself up by singing Ginuwine's hit track Pony. You know it?

If your horny, Let's do it
Ride it, My Pony
My saddle's waiting
Come and jump on it …. yup trauma does weird shit to people.

Anyhoo – the sociopath homeless stalker keeps breaking into her apartment to pant at her neck like a mastiff while she sleeps, and the inevitable sex scene happens. Now I've heard of tantric sex, but this is impressive on a whole new level, as it helps her deal with herself and the world around her.

“..he pushes the tip of his thumb into my back entrance...and I know what this is. This is Twitch asserting his role.” LMFAO ass-erting, oh dear god, couldn't make this shit up even if I tried.

Apparently for reaching the inner equilibrium in one's life, you require nothing but a finger up your ass. Quick, somebody call the monks! They've been doing it wrong all these years!!!

Did I mention his pierced cock?

That does things to her like: “...having my G-spot tickled...” - oh,for the love of all things holey. I mean I can relate to that, witch girl doesn't like to have her G-spot tickled? And of course, never being the one to shy away from using her caseworker deduction techniques, Lexi chooses to add to her description of Twitch as being so much more then a homeless sociopath as she  provides us with a deeper insight behind the chosen ornamentation of his phallus.“I think it takes a selfless man to pierce his cock just for the pleasure of women" - Just how deep is that? Ghandi, pack your shit, and get the hell out, we got a new player in town. “He rocks into me, and the connection – the closeness – feels almost intimate.” -strange how having sex would do that, really.

Then there is the very different orgasm: “...he thrusts so hard, so deeply into me, that it feels like I am bouncing on a trampoline.”

Alrighty then. Guess she did get to ride the Pony after all.

After the sex that is clearly transcends this plane of existence, we have Lexi struggling to find out just who Twitch really is. Even when he introduces himself as a co-owner of a multimillion plastics factory, she doesn't get it. She's been to his office, and didn't get it. She didn't use her mad caseworker skills to I dunno....google it. She would have us think that he is using his gangsta self, with his gangsta tattoos, to sell Tupperware in some back alley, surrounded by his homies. I know..thug life be hard, y'all.

If I listed every single nugget that made me crack up reading this, I would soon run out of internet. Still tho i want to take this opportunity to say thank you to everybody who has taken the time to recommend this unique masterpiece to me. I can't remember the last time i have laughed so hard while reading a book. xD

In Surprisingly by Debra Kayn, Crista Johnson and Bruce Coldwell have been best friends since the day her heel broke on the street and he carried her all the way to her destination. The fact that they both love sports and he is a world-class pro bass fisherman while she is cyclist makes them even closer. Now that Bruce is coming to stay with her before his next bass fishing contest, Crista cannot be any happier and already has many plans for their staycation.

But things are not always that simple, for Crista hates her neighbor Janelle, who cannot let a moment go by when she is not putting Crista down for her appearance or her dedication to exercise and sweating. So when Bruce shows up and runs into Janelle, then asks Crista to set them up, she knows that he is asking for a lot. Read More...

I fancy myself a backpack-carrying, adventure-seeking traveler, at home in hostels and on hiking trails. But there I was, on a luxury cruise ship, sipping wine with silver-haired foxes, fox-trotting with male escorts in the ballroom, and escorting myself on a tapas-like tour around Europe, sampling cities for a day via ship, bus, foot and bike.

It was the biking aspect that had led to my unlikely sojourn on the ship, Crystal Cruises ' Serenity. Months before, my cyclist-enthusiast ears perked up when I heard about the cruise, with biking-based itineraries in several port cities.

The regimented itinerary of a cruise with its scheduled ports of call, and the idea of spending that much time on a ship, wasn't all that appealing to me, but the prospect of biking around a few different European cities was. So I packed my sneakers, some cute bike shorts and an open mind.

Embarking in Dover, England, I was sure I was the only passenger hauling a backpack on board when the butler assigned to my cabin floor did a double-take at the sight of my luggage. But after a restful sleep, rocked by the waves of the Atlantic and the gentle hum of the ship's engine, thoughts of hostels were but a distant memory.

On the first of my 10-day adventure hitting seven cities in four countries, my cousin and fellow cruiser Olivia Female, I, and a few other cyclists biked around Guernsey, one of the Channel Islands, on cruisers we were given. We traversed the quaint, compact island, two-wheeling by fawn-hued cows, primary-colored fishing boats and World War II bunkers.

The next day we sampled wine on an evening walking tour in Bordeaux, France, as we learned about local history. In the hopes of working off some of that vino, I pedaled around the cobblestoned streets and lush wineries of Saint-Emilion the following day. Continue Reading.

I hate Stephen King novels with a passion. There's nothing more boring than endless description of cloudy skies dripping on and on until the end of time and everything has turned to dust around me as I struggle to prevent my eyelids closing forever with the weight of the ash, trembling hands barely sustaining a grip on the latest weighty tome he has battered out, on what I always imagine must be a typewriter .....

However .... I love Misery. The worst part of it is the beginning with that stupid imagery involving the beach, after that it's a pretty straight forward story of disillusioned, sour writer Paul Sheldon, held captive following an horrific car crash in the mountains by crazy, obsessive broad Annie Wilkes. I enjoyed the way the story unravelled at a surprisingly good pace for Mr King and I enjoyed the way the tension built peppered with mangled legs, vile head injuries and some rather creative cussing.

I skipped over some sections of the novel Paul is writing while being held and tortured as it was pretty dire and made my head feel like it was bleeding, but I still rate this book five stars as it's such a page turner anyway and a nice, easy leisure read for a rainy day.

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