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review 2018-10-09 02:04
Furies of Calderon (Codex Alera #1) (Audiobook)
Furies of Calderon - Jim Butcher

DNF @ 20%

 

Bored now.

 

This reads more like Brandon Sanderson and Michael Sullivan teamed up to write the most basic, convoluted "epic" fantasy of all time rather - and failing - than anything Jim Butcher would write. I love the Dresden Files, but this was boring. The characters are boring - they're either super good or super evil. The twists are boring - a big one is revealed in the third chapter, only a couple of scenes after so-and-so was killed. We jump around from one POV character to another, get to see a scene they're in and move on to another. Nothing's really explained, especially all this fury nonsense (aka Pokemon) which is the crux of the magical whatits in this world. There's no reason to care about these characters or what is happening to them or what's going on in this world.

 

Kate Reading is a decent narrator but she reads slow. Speeding this up to 1.20x helped, but not enough to make up for the lack of world-building and character development.

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text 2018-09-06 01:47
In Kelly's Corner - DNF @ 6%
In Kelly's Corner - Roxie Rivera

You have a stalker who is calling you and hanging up without saying anything, and leaving you pics of his dick. Do you call the cops? Not if you're Bea. Do you at least get some nanny cams installed in your home, car, office, bike, wherever this stalker has left pics for you so you can catch him on camera, especially since you're supposedly a tech genius with tons of money? Nope! That would be ridiculous!

 

You have a stalker who broke into your locked home and left you a present. Do you NOW call the cops? Nope! What are they going to do? At least she ran out of there instead of snooping, so she's got at least a smidgeon of sense.

 

Bro, if a woman has full use of both her legs, is conscious and can understand human speech, you don't pick her up and manhandle her over the security rail. You ask her politely to go backstage and escort her there. But she's your dead best friend's hot little sister who you're denying yourself a relationship with for stupid reasons even though she's into you (probably also for stupid reasons) so why pass up an opportunity to feel her up even though she's there asking for protection from her stalker. I guess this is the part where us woman folk are supposed to swoon and drool all over Kelly's big muscular arms. I rolled my eyes and deleted the book from my Kindle.

 

These people are dumb.

 

Add the juvenile writing and the constant info-dumping, and there's nothing here to inspire me to read further.

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review 2018-06-21 01:47
The Way of Kings (The Stormlight Archive #1) (Audiobook) - DNF 17%.
The Way of Kings - Brandon Sanderson

Technically, this is competently written, and the narrators do a decent job with their parts once I sped up the playback to 1.25 times normal speed. But... 

 

I was bored a lot of the time. It got interesting for awhile. I like Kaladan and Shallan, but they don't make up for the clunky world-building or the overall awkward tone of the writing. This reads like an opus to fanfic much of the time, and it's cringe-worthy fanfic at that.

 

And the whole lighteyes/darkeyes thing just feels weird. Like the author wanted to include something about racism, but didn't want to start up a sh*tstorm by doing it badly, so decided that eye color made a good alternative. Maybe he heard about Jane Elliot's blue eyes experiment and figured it was a good stand in. It's not though.

 

If this were only 200 or 300 pages, I might feel compelled to power through to the end, but there are another 800+ pages to this thing, so my patience has run dry. 

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review 2018-03-03 21:15
The Dating Game - DNF @ 20% (Audiobook)
The Dating Game - Jay Northcote

I got the ebook free forever ago and cracked it open some months back but quickly decided to shelve it due to the writing. Then I saw this in the Audible Romance Package and decided to give it another go. Ugh! Narrator isn't bad, but really is too posh for the story. And the story itself is pretty standard contemporary romance with little else going on. Just not that interesting. 

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review 2018-02-11 02:09
Men of the Cross (Battle Scars #1) - DNF @ 32%
Men of the Cross (Battle Scars Book 1) - Charlene Newcomb

So Stephan knows a bloke named Robin, and on the road they meet and befriend a couple of pickpockets with hearts of gold named Allan and Little John. Hmmmm... I wonder where this is going. Look, if you want to write a Robin Hood retelling, then do that. Don't make them side characters. It's just distracting. And really, after reading The Wode series by J Tullos Hennig, there's just no way this can come close to that series. This really just made me want to reread The Wode instead.

 

I'm by no means an expert of this time period, so I didn't know the battle of Messina was recounted inaccurately or that King Richard admired Saladin, or any other number of things that others have noted are poorly researched. However, it did feel off that Henry and Stephan and Robin all treat Richard like just another dude bro, and that Henry and Stephan are such experts at a longbow when that was rather a rarity back then. 

 

I did like the banter between Henry and Stephan, and I could buy that they'd befriend a couple of wayward pickpockets once they proved they wouldn't rob them blind in the middle of the night. There's a lot of promise here, but the writing wasn't particularly gripping and it lacked detail. Even the action scenes were kind of boring me. 

 

Time to move on!

 

(Side note: The KU selection has not been particularly promising so far. So many DNFs.)

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